Sometimes I watch the dogs bouncing around the house and think just how bizarre it is to have this whole other species running my life living in my house. Have you ever thought about that? About how odd it is to have this whole other animal just wandering around, making himself right at home?
Dogs are amazing adapters. Somewhere along the evolutionary line, they realized that it paid for them to hang with people, and they got our number right away. Look cute, wag tail, and here comes food!
But there are some things that dogs do that are obviously not part of that adaptive evolution. (I know, I know. I’m totally simplifying thousands of years of complicated science.) Those things, those behaviors, appear, and I find myself saying things that I never, ever thought I would say.
Before I had a dog, I never thought I would say:
- “Don’t lick the toilet!”
- “John! Get a bag! Cooper’s poop is stuck!” (This happens often. He eats sticks. They get… stuck.)
- “Stop licking my pants, please.”
Those are just a few of the more common things I say that I never thought I’d say. Honestly, five years ago, if you had asked me, “Do you think there will come a time when you have to ask someone to stop licking your pants every single day?” I would’ve thought you were insane.
But I do. It’s weird, of course, and also totally worth it. (And in their defense, I am a pretty messy eater.)
What about you? Before you had a dog, what did you think you’d never say?
LOL the stuck poo comment is the best, I totally never thought that I would have to deal with that and now it’s a common occurence “Honey, Kona needs “help” again!!”.
I never thought I would have to say “stop chasing the cat” 5,000,000,0000,000 times!!!!!!
Me: Lucas barfed again.
Maggie: Was it chunky or just stomach acid?
Me: No chunks.
Maggie: Oh, he’s just hungry:
Me: Yeah, Cooper’s barf was chunky, though. But it was all mulch.
Maggie: Yeah.
In the beginning, it was so weird to just have this animal walking around. Now we’re used to it. When I take them out I say “time for go potty” which always makes me feel weird when actual people are walking by.
Let’s see…
“No more lickies!”
(all the potty-isms…pee-pee, poo-poo…etc. over and over again)
“where’s your bobo?”
“Time for seepy-seepies.”
…and many more, but I don’t care, because like you said, it’s totally worth it!
@Kim, I’m so glad we’re not the only ones dealing with that situation!!!
@John, Nice transcription of our weekly conversation! 🙂
@TwoPitties, I love the “actual people” comment! I find myself saying things that non-dog-owners wouldn’t understand, like instead of saying the word “dinner” in passing and forcing the boys to start drooling, I say “d-word.” When I say it to someone without a dog, they look at me like I’m NUTS!
@Kathy, Cute!! All the potty-isms are great!
To Scout – “Stop licking the furniture,” and “Why would you chew that?”
To Simba: “Get off of Scout’s head”
But I have conversations with people I never imagined I would have — like how many times a day does your dog poop? Is slightly runny normal for him? and descriptions of dog and cat vomit.
ha ha ha… is slightly runny normal for him…
can’t stop laughing…partly coz, its something I’ve said too 😀
Oh, and to Sam — Get out of the Litter Box!
ha – great post.
ours are generally details about new foster dogs like “what did the poo look like?”
There’s just something about dog lovers… we love discussing poop and puke, apparently! 🙂
Once when we were out on a walk, I went to sniff at the exact same spot where Brudder Ranger went to pee. Suddenly, my mom shrieks, “DON’T pee on your sister!”
Yep…I’m pretty sure she never, ever thought THOSE words would come out of her mouth.
Heehee!
Wiggles & Wags,
Mayzie
Haaa! Mayzie, that’s so funny! I’ve said similar things to these guys before – usually cautioning Emmett to wait until Lucas is finished BEFORE getting his face in there to sniff. I sure hope Ranger didn’t “get” you!!
I think the biggest one in our house is “stop humping your brother” and “play, don’t hump!” Ava humps Jackson all the live-long day and Jackson could care less, but we are trying to encourage her to switch that energy over into PLAY time. lol
This is a great post and so very true for dog owners! Around the office here, we say stuff like, ‘get your nose out of the trash’ and ‘did the dog eat the pizza off my desk?’ and ‘oh, I think Batman made a shadoobie on the floor!” haha. We love it.
– Did everybody poop? Awesome!
– Quit humping your sister (@Heather, glad I’m not the only one!)
– You get sick when you eat that much goose crap, don’t you?
Dogs are gross… but awesome!… but gross… 😉
@Heather and Shauna, we have the humping thing going on over here, too. Sigh.
“DAISY! Stop licking the carpet!”
“BELLA! You are not a cow-don’t eat the grass!”
“No! You can´t eat crumbs out of my cleavage!!!”
Lol! I was eating a sandwich on the couch (bad, I know) and my Carmela saw some crumbs fall in there and she just dove right in!
Spirit, must you bash your head every time you jump on the windowsill? (Spirit being a 25Kg GSD/BC cross!)
I don’t know that I never thought my husband and I would be having conversations about poop, but I figured we’d have had a kid first.
Things I never expected to say:
“No, really, the kitty does not want to play with you.”
“Don’t eat that pen.” (Or that sock, or that $30 cabling needle…)
“Awwww, who’s a crazy puppy!”
“Why are you licking the couch?”
I also never expected to replace the word walk with “you-know-what.” (Somewhat futilely, because I’m pretty sure my dog is catching on to what a you-know-what is.)
There are lots, but I think what I say the most is “Stop eating rabbit poop. Seriously, that’s gross.”
“Yeah, but we’ve only had to pull the poo out his butt, like, 6 times….”
I’m really relieved to see everyone has the same poop-related and eating-gross-things-related comments as we do!
My husband: “Holly just threw up in the back seat. Should I pull over?”
Me: “Nah, she’s just gonna eat it again before you get a chance. We’ll wipe down what’s left when we get there.”
Related- Me to pet supply store owner: “Do you have, like, doggie dramamine?”
Love this…and all the comments. When we’re in bed, we often say, “there’s a tail in our bed”. I was never a dog person before Gus, so the fact that there’s now a tail in our bed every night seems SO odd sometimes. 😉
@Skye, HILARIOUS!! Sadly, we’ve had that exact same conversation before…
@Lori, Love it. So, so cute!
when I was a one-dog owner and Moon was my only dog, he ate a steak bone in one gulp and I was convinced he was going to need surgery to get it removed. I watched his poops obsessively and gave him vaseline sandwiches (recommended by a vet tech) and was so concerned I gave myself an upset stomach and couldn’t eat! I asked my landlady, “do you think Moon is acting strange?” and she said, “I think YOU’RE acting strange!!!” then she told me I should get a second dog so I’d stop worrying about the first one so much. The seed was planted. So I got Plum! Now of course I want a third but she’s not buying my argument that I’ll stop worrying about Plum as much. And Moon passed the bone fine, btw!!
This morning I asked my son to pick all the poops and he came back and said, “I picked all the hard poop but left the watery poop”. For a second, I was like, ” wow, I never thought I will talk about the types of poop this morning… it is so weird.
Guys SERIOUSLY… whats wrong with all of us? I mean, WHO likes talking about poop, pee and barf?
Its a GREAT post, and I simply loved all the comments. Could not stop laughing. I can’t believe how normal “was it runny or normal” is for all pet people. (and I thought, I was the only weird one)
In our house, in addition to poop-talk comes the comments about what did Pluto chew on today, and endless screams of “Don’t chew that “, and nightly grumbles of “get off my pillow, Pluto” 🙂
I’m just sorry I’m three months late to this conversation — I laughed so wonderfully hard this morning! I’d add:
–Stop humping the cat!
–Who wants to go night-night?
–Uh oh, he has a pooty-butt, he has to go big potty.
I can’t believe I really talk like that!