Oh My Dog!

obsessed with dogs

Is your dog spoiled?

Cooper: “I guess it depends on your definition of ‘spoiled.’ Like, yesterday, Lady forgot to move my blanket into the sun spot on the couch in her office so I had to choose between napping in the shade but on the blanket or napping in the sun but on the blanket-less couch. Do you call that spoiled? I. think. not.”

At first, I thought I wanted to write a lighthearted take on spoiling our pups, especially around the holidays.

Is your dog spoiled?
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Like, does Cooper want a faux fur blanket from IKEA to toss in the sun-dappled spot on his couch? Would he really want that? Or is that just me spoiling him?

Want the blanket? He doesn’t know it exists!

Deserves the blanket? Well, that’s another story. (He totally does. We’re going there this weekend to do some holiday shopping, and that blanket is coming home for Coop!)

However, as I did some light googling around spoiled dogs thinking I’d find some good memes, I discovered something: People get super-duper up-in-arms about spoiled dogs! Like, kinda crazed and a smidge bonkers.

Some, I think, are bizzaro remnants from outdated training modes that say you’ll “spoil” your dog if you let him on the bed or allow him to eat dinner before you or let him ahead on leash, or that “indulged” dogs become bossy and manipulative, or whatever… I forget sometimes that many people still buy into these myths simply because the world in which I live and work puts so much stock in science-based training. I forget that there’s a whole other side of the dog world that allows people to truly, honestly, wholeheartedly believe that if a dog jumps onto the sofa, it’s because he’s trying to attain higher ground and, thus, the assertive, dominant position over you.

Coop’s like: “Naw. I just want the squishy, sun-dappled spot. I like a pillow under my noggin. And, hey, could you see to a faux fur throw up in here? Thanks, Lady.”

So, let’s redefine “spoiled,” shall we?

I like the idea of indulging my dog because, frankly, he deserves it, and it makes me happy to make him happy! My dog doesn’t know he’s spoiled, though he does know the types of behaviors that tend to get him extra rewards like cuddles and snacks. And he likes to perform them liberally! But, he doesn’t know that a faux fur throw or an after-dinner bully stick or cuddling under the covers at night or walking ahead of me or whatever is considered to ruin his character by some humans. He does know that those things increase his joy, and I know that his increased joy increases mine.

Yes, my dog is spoiled. But I don’t care. I love him that way. I love to spoil him. He deserves it. He puts up with a lot, and he’s always happy to do whatever I want to do when I want to do it. He’s always happy to just be with me, and I appreciate that more than words, more than faux fur throws, and more than after-dinner bully sticks (though he’d take the throw and sticks over the words any day).

Two questions for you today:

  1. What do you consider “spoiling” when it comes to dogs?
  2. Is your dog spoiled? 

I’d love to know in the comments whether or not you think your pup is spoiled, if there’s a such thing as a too-spoiled dog, and how do you know where the line is! 🙂

Is my dog basically Lassie?

This story starts Thanksgiving Day.

We took Cooper and Violet hiking in a nearby nature preserve. We wanted to burn off Coop’s energy before we left for Thanksgiving dinner at my brother’s, plus burn off a few preemptive calories before all the pies.

Well.

Turns out, every other person and pup in central Indiana felt the same way. Every trail we took, we encountered dog after dog after dog. Which, as you know, Cooper doesn’t handle well. John had Violet in the backpack, and I had Coop on his harness. The squeeze cheese worked for a while, so did u-turns and forks and circling back and zig-zags and just outright stopping while we waited for dogs to pass us by. But, of course, he reached maximum threshold at some point way in the back of the preserve, so it was a lot of pulling, lunging, and barking until we got back to the car. I ended up just running him back–he focuses way better when he’s running–though my shoulder ached by the time I loaded him into the car.

Such is life with a stressed-out, reactive pup, right?

You plan. You prepare. You manage. But, we can’t control other dogs and their owners. Unfortunately.

The next day, we decide to get our Christmas tree. We ran some errands, then stopped at the library to let Violet play. A block from the library, the Girl Scouts sell trees each year for a fundraiser, so we planned to hit the coffee shop on our way, then pick out a tree and head home. As we loaded Violet into the car, she looked up into my eyes and said, “Pooped.”

Sure enough.

So, we decided to do the tree later and just head straight home. We put her down for a nap and thought we might as well clean the house before we decorated anyways, so that’s what we did. And, since my darling daughter tends to huck her plate when she gets frustrated, that included scrubbing down the walls and cabinets in the kitchen.

It was then, at some point when I was scraping dried milk off the baseboards, I felt a twinge. Just a small little tweak across my lower back. Not a big deal. Just a little ache.

The day continued: My sister came over to watch Violet so we could finish some errands. She stayed for dinner. We missed getting the tree but were ready to throw ourselves into full-blown Christmas Saturday morning!

And then… in the wee hours of Saturday, like 1:30 AM, I woke up with the worst back pain ever. Like, enough to draw tears. It took me ages and ages to stand up, to slink my way out of the bedroom and into the living room. I had it in my head that if I could just stretch out on the floor, I’d be OK.

Cooper popped out of bed, of course, and came with me. He watched me. He sat in his chair in the living room and stared at me. Unblinking. He just stared.

Well, turns out, I was wrong. Once I got on the floor, it was worse by significant degrees. But then I couldn’t get up. At all. I tried shifting, rolling, scootching to the cabinet to pull myself up. Nada. Not happening.

So, I turned to Cooper, my beloved pup who stays by my side every day no matter what, and I said, “Cooper, go get John.”

He looked at me.

“Coop. Please. Get Papa.”

He stared.

“OK, bubba. I’m dying here. I need help. Go. Get. John.”

He jumped down from his chair, walked over, sniffed my face, and then curled up alongside me and rested his head on my belly.

I couldn’t move.

He got comfortable.

And slept.

John found me two hours later in tears and cursing in the loudest whisper I could muster. (This whole time, you guys, I didn’t want to wake Violet. I knew that would make everything way, way worse…)

Cooper, though? Sound asleep by my side.

Is my dog basically Lassie?

Is my dog basically Lassie?

No. No, he’s not.

Grateful

I prefer Thanksgiving to Christmas.

At least, I prefer the spirit of Thanksgiving, of expressing thanks and gratitude and joy, to the consumer-driven craze Christmas has become. Don’t get me wrong: I love presents, giving and receiving, and I love decorations and pretty lights. I love holiday food and cookies galore. I can’t wait to see Violet’s visit with Santa this year. And, I LOVE hosting my annual holiday gift guide and being able to give away tons of presents to the dogs, cats, and pet people who make this space a community.

I love lots of Christmas things, but Thanksgiving holds a special place in my heart.

Grateful for my babies

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Anonymous

I’m so deeply grateful for what I have. I’m grateful for the life I’ve built. So, for this week of thanks, before the Black Friday madness begins (coincidentally, of course, when my gift guide launches… which makes me feel a bit hypocritical… but I’d rather frame it as my annual way of giving back to this space…) I wanted to share a handful of things for which I’m immensely grateful. Starting with:

You. 

I’m so grateful you’re here. I’m so grateful you’re willing to share your time and your pets with us in this space. It’s incredibly easy to feel lonely in this world, and this space gives those of us who are obsessed with pets a place to hang, share stories and tips, and appreciate the incredible bond we have with our animals. I realize that a blog often feels one sided, which is why I recently launched a Facebook discussion group to make this more conversational. But, I’m just so grateful that this is a positive space filled with a shared love of animals. So, thank you for being here, and thank you for being you.

Cooper.

OMG, you guys. This dog. He rocks an Elf Elmo costume (stay tuned for the gift guide because I can’t even with this one), takes a million kisses and stickers from Violet, puts up with the cats thwacking him (though he pummels them right back), deals with being the official product tester for this site with aplomb, runs miles and miles and miles or just snoozes, hangs out with me all day, snuggles like a champ… I mean, he’s just the greatest. No, he’s not perfect. And that’s OK. He’s really flipping fantastic just as he is. I’m so, so grateful for him every single day.

Violet’s Birth Mama.

Violet turned our hearts and our lives inside out in the most amazing, breathtaking, astonish way possible. She brings magic wherever she goes. She’s strong-willed and opinionated and bossy, which can be… challenging…, but she’s also a kind friend and an animal lover and an absolute clown. She brings us joy in magnitudes of an epic scale. Without her birth mama and her compassionate choice to place Violet for adoption, we wouldn’t have this fierce love for which I’m thankful every second of every day… even the seconds when Violet is hucking her burrito across the room because she’s overly tired and wanted the purple spoon, not the green spoon. All of it. Violet’s birth mom is one of the most special and important people in our lives, and we’re forever grateful to her and for her.

John and Violet.

No words. Just a deep, bottomless well of love and gratitude.

The Kittehs.

My cats are hilarious. I think all cats probably are in their own ways. Newt and Ripley are a comedy duo who deserve their own late-night talk show. Neither cat joined our family in a planned, purposeful sort of way. And yet, they’ve both brought exactly what we were missing: Newt, an unending supply of sarcasm (voiced by us, obvi) and the occasional heart-melting snuggle; Ripley, an acrobatic circus of play that’s keeping Newt young, plus a nonstop purring-and-rubbing lovefest that could win over even the most strident non-cat-person. You’re the perfect cats for Cooper and the perfect cats for Violet. I’ll be even MORE grateful if you leave the Christmas tree alone this year… worth a shot…

There’s so, so much else: access to healthy food, a reliable car, wonderful friends IRL and online who lift me up, an incredible preschool where Violet thrives, organic wine, our public library, parents willing to jump in and help whenever we need it, long walks in the woods, Tagalongs, this list could go on.

All this to say: Thank you. I’m grateful for so much in my life, and a big part of that is right here.

What are you grateful for? If you’re in the US, I wish you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving!

Hiking With Dogs: Winter Safety Tips

We love to get outside all year round, and we live in Indiana–it gets cold! and dark! and snowy!

In fact, the day I’m writing this, we experienced an ice storm overnight that closed schools, and now it’s snowing on top of the ice. This weather makes me want to bundle up, throw Coop’s coat and boots on, and hit the trails!

Why?

Because they will be quiet! We’ll have the place to ourselves! Everything is so pretty coated in a dusting of ice and snow!

Of course, when you’re hiking in the winter, you need to take some extra steps and precautions that you wouldn’t in, say, spring. I compiled our top tips, the things we do each time, but please know that this is situation- and weather-dependent. Use caution. Be safe. Always default to common sense. This list isn’t exhaustive–just the bare-bones basics–so I’d love to hear what you’d add to it in the comments!

Hiking With Dogs: 5 Winter Safety Tips

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5 Winter Safety Tips for Hiking With Dogs

Dress for the weather.

Obviously, right? You pile on your boots, wool socks, coat, hat, gloves, the works! You might even own a suite of technical fabrics designed with the cold in mind. But what about your dog?

Winter weather is vicious on your dog’s paws, especially if you traverse rugged terrain that’s wet or frozen. While not all dogs will tolerate boots, most can learn to wear them with practice (and treats and praise). Cooper wears these all winter long. Yes, they’re pricey, but they’ve last years and hundreds of miles, and his paws are protected from the elements. Same goes for a jacket or sweater: You know your dog and your dog’s comfort level. Cooper always wears a jacket. He runs cold, and we’ve learned over the years he hikes better and has more stamina if he’s bundled up. Our late shepherd, Lucas, would tolerate one if we insisted but never needed one. Know your dog, and know the conditions you’re going to be hiking in–but always err on the side of caution.

BTW, don’t forget you also need sunscreen in the winter!! When you’re dressing, screen up any exposed skin. The winter sun can be harsh, especially at higher elevations!

Drink plenty of water.

It’s easy to remember to hydrate in the summer. You’re hot and sweating buckets. In the winter, sweat often makes you feel colder, and the air seems drier, so it’s easier to forget to hydrate. However, it’s vital for you and your pup. Always pack plenty of water for both of you. If your dog carries a pack, he can stow his own on one side and yours on the other. This is the pack Cooper wears. It comfortable fits a water bottle on either side, and we have a collapsible water dish (not this but super similar) for him.

Be reflective!

Mornings are dark. Afternoons are dark. These short winter days, combined with often-overcast, gray skies and precipitation make visibility tough. Both you and your dog should wear reflective or neon gear no matter what time of day you head out. Low visibility can cause trouble, particularly if you live somewhere where people hunt in the winter. Even if you aren’t in a hunting area, though, bright colors and reflective wear are simple safety steps that don’t take any extra effort but can prevent big problems. Bonus: Stash a flashlight or headlamp in your pack as an extra safety measure.

Keep your pup on leash.

Of course, if you’re in a leash-required park, you’re a responsible dog owner so obviously your dog is leashed. (Right?!) However, even if you’re in an area where off-leash is OK, winter isn’t a safe time for your dog to dash off. Why? Well, one really big reason is frozen water might appear solid to your dog but crack as soon as he gets out on the ice. So dangerous. Another reason is that sound travels differently in the winter, especially in snow-covered terrain, and you and your pup can get separated much more easily. Finally, if your dog tends to sniff out animals, lots are in hibernation or dormancy and don’t appreciate being disturbed. It could even kill them. Keep your pup on leash all winter long!

Hike a trail you know.

This is a recommendation someone made to me at a trade show when we were talking winter hiking gear, and it made so much sense: If you’ve never hiked an area before, winter isn’t the time to try it out. Snow covers the trail. Many, even in maintained parks, aren’t broken during the winter months. Markers might be obscured or down. It’s harder to find your way in the depths of winter. Now, if you’re considering a park that’s well-managed year-round, go for it. Or, at least, ask the park rangers if it’s a good time to try a trail. But, err on the side of safety and stick with trails, parks, and climbs you’re familiar with during the winter months.

Other than that, have fun! Hiking with your dog in the winter can be fun and rewarding. Everything is quiet. The terrain looks totally fresh and clean blanketed in snow. You can usually push a little longer and farther than if you’re in the beating-down sun. If you have a reactive or fearful pup like Cooper, you almost always have the trails to yourself, which is so awesome!

Get outside! Have fun! Be safe!

Hikers: What would you add to this list? Do you get out in the winter? Or do you like to hibernate, too? Does your dog perform well in the cold? Or is your pup a nap-fireside dog?

Reflections on dog blogs, evil trolls, and #WorldKindnessDay

Have you guys seen that meme that says: “You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not tacos.”

I love it.

It makes me laugh, partly because I love tacos, and party because I’m not tacos.

Reflections on dog blogs, evil trolls, and #WorldKindnessDay

I know I can’t make everyone happy. I don’t even try. (That, from a recovering people-pleaser is a big statement, y’all.) And sometimes I make mistakes and sometimes I share stuff that’s important to me but doesn’t resonate for you and sometimes I don’t write anything about a topic that IS important to you and you maybe feel overlooked.

Again. Not tacos.

Recently, someone landed on one of my old blog posts through a Google search.

The post was about a tragedy: a little girl was killed by a dog, and later the neighbors said, “You know, we always suspected him of dog fighting.” It’s horrific. If those neighbors had reported their suspicions, perhaps that little girl would still be alive today.

The gentleman who landed on that post was, I guess, searching for info on how to report suspected dog fighting. (Which, bro, call the cops–dog fighting is illegal, after all–or animal control or your local shelter or the FBI or an anonymous tip line at HSUS, ASPCA, etc. etc. etc.) The post wasn’t about that, though, because… I mean… duh, kind of. You know?

Anyway, I am sorry that someone was perhaps truly, honestly trying to figure out what to do and landed on my post and found that it wasn’t helpful. That’s a bummer. I hope he figured out how to report suspected dog fighting. I really, really do.

However.

His comment said two things. First, which I’m paraphrasing: This is clickbait because you give no information. You just tell a stupid story.

(Which, to be fair, is what I do here… I tell stories… That’s, like, my job. In case anyone else was confused.)

Then, the comment ended with, and this isn’t a paraphrase, this is a quote:

Kill yourself.

Now, I have a fairly healthy sense of self. I have a general sense of my strengths and a glaring awareness of my weaknesses (I’m a writer who can’t spell. There. I said it.). I’m generally pretty good about taking care of my mental health, not counting stress. I read and listen and watch all sorts of personal and professional development. I get decent sleep. I exercise a bit. I eat well 82 percent of the time. All those things, plus my brain’s chemical makeup, etc. etc. etc. have put me in position where, thankfully, my mental health is fairly solid.

Not everyone’s is. And tossing around “kill yourself” over dumb stuff like being disappointed in a blog post?

Part of me wants to rage at that guy.

Part of me feels immensely sorry for someone whose life is so small that being cruel makes them feel big.

I keep reading online people decrying a lack of civility. It’s not that. It’s not that at all. Because you can be civil and still be an asshole.

What we need isn’t civility.

What we need is compassion.

We are facing a crisis of compassion. So many people seem only to care for themselves and those who are just like them, and somehow being cruel or putting down anyone who’s “other” justifies their existence, their rightness.

I don’t have to be wrong for you to be right.

You don’t have to agree with me or like my work to be kind.

Online forums enable and engender this behavior because you’re not looking at–you’re not seeing–another human. It’s a screen. A cursor. Some keys on a keyboard. Imagine this guy standing in an elevator with me and being disappointed in our conversation and ending it with, “Kill yourself.”

Luckily for all of us here, we have dogs. Dogs bring us love, joy, happiness, and live-in-the-moment inspo. We need that. We all need that–and more of it. I have to imagine if that commenter had a puppy who greeted him happily at the door each day, who licked his face when he felt down, who he could take for a walk when he felt angry, well, he might tell fewer people to kill themselves! Yes, that’s a bit tongue-in-cheek but not much. People who have dogs are happier people, and happy people just don’t tell others to kill themselves.

Today is World Kindness Day. We should all be kind every day, of course, but to honor this day, I want to end this post with a call-to-action:

Do something extra today. Do a random act of kindness. Make an anonymous donation. Brush out a shelter dog. Buy a stranger a cup of coffee. Leave a quarter in the cart at Aldi. Donate old coats to your local homeless shelter. Visit adoptable cats at your local pet store. Even giving strangers authentic, meaningful compliments feels like a random act of kindness. Wait until you see the cashier’s smile when you tell her how much you like her earrings or whatever it is. Give your dog a second walk. Play with your cat’s pouncer toy for an extra couple minutes.

Everything in life takes energy; spend yours doing something kind. 

P.S. Join us on Facebook where we’ve established a positive-vibes-only, no-negativity space for people who love pets! It’s the perfect excuse to share alllllll those pics of your pups (or cats, gerbils, birds, etc.) languishing in your camera roll!