I shifted under the covers.

As I turned, Cooper turned with me. He shifted a tiny bit more and placed his chin on my ankle.

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I set down my book (Maybe You Should Talk to Someone… so, so good!) and listened to his breath.

The weight of his head resting on my foot, the warmth of his furry body pressed against my legs, the sound of his snores… peace.

Pure happiness.

This is my nightly routine: We finish dinner–we eat together every night–then I finish cleaning the kitchen while John takes Violet up for her bath and bedtime. I scoop the litter boxes and change into my jammies. I pour myself a glass of wine or a mug of tea (let’s be honest… usually wine) and climb into bed with my book and my Cooper. I’m in my jammies and in bed almost every single night by 7:30 or 8.

This is my self care. A glass of wine, a book, and my dog–oh, and an early bedtime–keep me sane.

It’s so small. Each one of those things is so little but bring me so much joy in my chaotic, stretched-too-thin, day-to-day.

It’s quiet. It’s calm. It’s peaceful.

Add to this mix Ripley. She often climbs onto my lap after Coop and I are fully settled in. She waits until he’s in position so that he doesn’t accidentally jut his legs into her side. Once she’s sure we’re both in place, she curls up and dozes off.

Ripley squeaks in her sleep. Those squeaks bring me even greater joy. They’re just so darn sweet and tiny, and I know she’s content.

Her tiny frame–a whopping eight pounds–settles into my lap and manages to feel like a hot lead weight as soon as she falls asleep.

Sometimes Newt piles on. She prefers to watch TV with John, though; he’s her person. She always chooses him when he’s around. I think she joins me, Coop, and Rip when she’s extra cold or when she’s ready to go to sleep for the night. I pretend she’s coming in because she wants to cuddle with me, but… 🙂

Lately I’ve noticed this push for all sorts of “self care” products. It’s a cottage industry that sprouted up, I believe, in response to the massive amount of stress we’re all under.

A mani/pedi, face mask, TV binge, shopping spree, whatever… might help decrease your stress in the moment. If that’s your thing, that’s awesome. As long as it feeds your heart and soul instead of depleting you (or your bank account), great.

I do other things, of course, like take my vitamins, drink lots of water, exercise a bit, get outside, but this nightly routine–my Coop, my cats, my book, and an early bedtime–tends my heart and soul. It’s small, but it’s my self care.

Thank goodness for pets.

How do you take care of yourself?

Do your pets factor into your self-care routine? I’d love to learn how you keep your sanity in the comments below!

BTW, if you’re a reader like me, let’s connect on Goodreads!

If you’re not using that platform, I’d LOVE to know what books you’ve loved this year in the comments below. My top three from this year, which I highly recommend, are Deep Creek (my favorite book all year), Calypso on audiobook because it’s read by the author and makes all the difference in the world (free with an Audible trial), and The Friend (a dog book, kinda, but not what you expect).

You know when you meet someone new, one of you will ask the other, “So, what do you do?” and that will spark a dozen or so minutes of chatter about each other’s professions…

I’ve found that the second the word “pet” comes out of my mouth (“I’m a pet writer.”) the other person invariably dives into stories about their beloved dog or cat. Even if someone doesn’t currently have a pet, they often share stories of childhood pets or pets who’ve passed away. I can count on one hand the number of times someone’s said something like, “Oh.” Or, even less frequently that disinterest, “I’m not an animal person.”

People. love. pets.

Or maybe I just somehow gravitate toward animal lovers… either way, the next stage in the conversation is always a whipped-out cell phone and tons of shared photos. “Here she is asleep. Here she is playing. Here she is sleeping again.”

It’s a true joy that I’ve been able to cobble together a living by sharing this love for pets.

Now, lest you think that because it’s a joy, it’s easy. Nope. It’s hard. Some days it’s really hard. I’ve cried a lot of tears over this work this past decade, but because I love it so much, well, it’s pretty easy to keep moving forward and making progress, to recover from the hard times, to persevere.

Once I mention writing about pets, the question I sometimes get is: Can you really make a living writing about pets?

When I started this site 10 years ago (aside: GAH! How is that possible?) it was a side project. I toiled away in a job I hated, and I wanted to write about something I loved. So, I wrote about Emmett and Lucas. They gave me endless material, too! From there, it evolved pretty naturally as I picked up freelance work in the pet space until, in February 2010–on my birthday, actually–the job I hated laid me off in the ultimate blessing-in-disguise. (I shared a bit more detail about that evolution in this post from 2015.)

At that time, blogging wasn’t an industry like it is now. It was mostly people who were passionate about a topic creating content to help others (in all sorts of niches, not just pet) but that was about it. Then, over the last decade, the industry sprang up. Marketers and big brands realized that speaking directly to a potential customer through an actual person rather than through traditional advertising might be super effective. So, brands started asking bloggers to share about their product or service in exchange for compensation. This was HUGE for bloggers because, prior to this, we could maybe make a few cents here and there with ads, but nothing that would buy the dog food.

I think folks online take it a smidge for granted–I know I do–that there’s so much information available 24 hours a day for free. The reality is that, on a blog, there’s a single person or maybe a tiny team toiling away in the background doing everything… the writing, the photography, the web design, the social media, the marketing, the accounting, the business development, and any other task that’s needed as it arises. Being compensated for that time feels, well, valuable. Like we as bloggers are valued.

But, of course, the industry ballooned up really quickly and some people (on both brand sides and blog sides) were unscrupulous and so some of that initial trust dissipated. The industry will right itself. It’s doing it now. The FTC is helping.

Meanwhile, we keep writing. We keep photographing and web designing and troubleshooting and warding off hackers and all the things that come from running a blog.

Now that I’ve done this for 10 years, I can honestly say: I’ve seen it all.

The good, the bad, the hacks. The rises, the falls, the algorithms.

Over those 10 years, I studied and learned as much as I could, applied what was relevant and dismissed what wasn’t. I think I’ve come up with a pretty good formula for this little corner of the web.

Meanwhile, in another part of this country, my friend Carol has been doing the same with her site for the past 10 years.

We’ve worked together often over the years, and about a year and a half ago we decided to put our heads together on a big project.

We wanted to serve other pet bloggers, those just starting out and those who have been at it for a while, by providing all of the tools and resources we wished we had. We wanted to create a comprehensive guide to help anyone who loves their pets as much as we do and who loves sharing and connecting with other pet-loving humans, so… we wrote a book!

And it’s out now! Today, in fact!

It’s available in paperback or Kindle (and if you subscribe to Kindle Unlimited, I believe it’s free).

If you’ve ever thought about starting a blog or maybe creating an Instagram for your dog or cat, or if you’re curious about how to turn a website into a business, we’ve got you! We put our experience to work with this one, plus we interviewed 15+ superstars in the space and included their brilliant inspiration and insights throughout.

If you pick up a copy, not only will I be ever-so-grateful, but I also want to hear what you think, AND I want to send you some extra goodies. Carol and I put together a Google Drive folder with lotsa bonus materials, and there’s a live workshop, available to anyone who purchases the book between today, Monday, October 21, and midnight (eastern) on Sunday, November 3. To claim your freebies, just email a screenshot of your receipt to maggieandcarol (at) gmail (dot) com, and we’ll get the special links on over to you!

So, what do pet bloggers do?

Well, they write. They take pictures. They do web design and content marketing and social media marketing and advertising and HTML coding and… they write books!

Here’s ours! (If you’re an e-readers, here’s the Kindle version.)

Thanks so much for all your love and support over the years. This book literally would never have happened without you!

Last month I wrote about dogs and babies and common sense safety measures. A number of questions came up around one central theme:

OK, I want my pets and kids to get along, but how can I involve my kids in pet care while staying safe?

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Why should kids help take care of pets?

Years ago, I volunteered at an animal welfare booth, and the volunteers traded stories about various rescue experiences. The topic turned to dog bites, and I relayed a story of a 10-year-old who was bitten by their dog during feeding time. One of the volunteers said, “Well, that’s on the parents! Children shouldn’t be allowed to feed dogs–it’s unsafe!”

Now, if your dog has resource issues or if he’s a brand-new addition to your family or if you have some other legitimate issue you’re working on with your pup, sure, involving your kids in that area probably isn’t a great idea. You do need safety measures in place.

However, when it comes to basic pet care, it’s so important to get kids involved. Why?

Compassion and responsibility.

Kids learn how important it is to care for another, to meet the needs of someone other than themselves.

Plus, it helps your pets bond with your kid.

Pet Care Chores for Little Kids

You know your kid best. You know how well he or she listens to and follows instructions. You know the depth of his or her still-developing motor skills. Here are four ideas to get you started, knowing you may need to adapt them to your kiddo’s abilities:

Water: Every morning, Violet comes downstairs, and her first thing she does is take a big cup of water that I’ve filled at the sink and pour it into the pet fountain. (It’s this. It’s WAY too big for her to fill at the sink with her steps.) Sure, there are lots of spills, but I’ll happily wipe up the floor to let her learn how to help care for her animals. And now she will say, “I spilled! I need a rag!” and will wipe up her own spills.

Food: If your dog eats kibble from a bowl, scooping and filling is an awesome chore under supervision. This isn’t a chore that works in our house since Coop eats The Farmer’s Dog out of a puzzle feeder… but I can see “stuffing puzzles” a chore for her in a few years!

The cats eat kibble for lunch each day, and she loves dumping the scoops into their bowls or puzzles (I still measure because I want to feed them the exact amount to keep their weight in check).

Grooming: No, your little kid shouldn’t be wielding a pair of nail clippers, but teaching your kid how to brush out your pup is a fantastic exercise in care and compassion. Don’t expect your dog to come away fully groomed, of course, and this is an area where you know your dog and kid best: If your dog hates grooming, skip this one.

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Training: Your small child won’t be able to teach your pup complicated tricks or obedience; however, he or she most certainly can get involved in what you’re training. Here are two examples in our house: Every time we leave for the day, we ask Coop to go to his bed and give him a treat to work on. Now, Violet sends him to his bed and gives him his treat–and she’s a stickler! If he’s not fully on, she’ll wait, “All the way, Coopsie!” Another fun one is to help your dog learn “touch” to your kiddo’s outstretched hand. This is an awesome way to get them to work together in a fun way that rewards your pup.

Beyond that, little kids always want to help, so asking them to hold the roll of pickup bags or clipping a second leash to your pup’s harness so they can help “walk” the dog or running to get the clippers out of the drawer for you to groom, and so on, all help your kiddo feel important and involved while learning how to care for your dog.

Pet Care Chores for Big Kids

Bigger kids are limited only by what’s expected of them…

Truly, if you teach and model what needs to happen, and then you empower your kids to do it, they will.

Some examples of pet care chores for big kids:

• Feeding and watering
• Cleaning the water fountain and replacing the filter
• Scooping the litter box
• Picking up the yard
• Stuffing puzzle toys
• Training with you and your dog, including taking training classes together
• Daily playtime

Kids with their licenses can take the family pet to the vet as long as they’ve been walked through how to do it responsibly. This used to be my responsibility in high school.

Some Caveats…

You’ll notice neither list included walking the dog. It’s not that big kids aren’t capable. They are. However… and, again, this is something you need to decide for your kid, your dog, and your neighborhood… there are too many potential safety issues that require a responsible adult. Again, this is in my opinion. You might live somewhere without a loose dog here or there. Your dog might not react to a cat crossing the street. Your kid might be able to walk around the block without his or her face buried in her phone (this is all the teens in my neighborhood walking their dogs…). Honestly, this is a judgement call you need to make. For me, this is one where the variables are too many and too significant. That said, walking and hiking together as a family is super important and models responsible behavior!

Ultimately, though, as the responsible adult, you need to decide what chores your kids can take on, then you need to teach them how to do them. You’ll probably have to review it dozens of times and clean up spills along the way, but don’t let that deter you from empowering your kid to take on additional responsibility and family contributions! In the short term it might require more from you, but in the long term you’re teaching your kid compassion and responsibility.

How do your kids, nieces and nephews, or friends help take care of the animals around you? Have you taught and empowered kids to help? What questions do you have about taking the steps needed to teach your kiddos how to help take care of your pets? Let us know in the comments below!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Or, how a perforated appendix tipped the scales in Cooper’s favor…

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I thought about calling this post: What I Did on My Summer Vacation. Do you remember writing that essay every year in elementary school? 🙂

About a week ago, I waited on the gurney for my CT scan, and the nurse and tech started chatting. They brought me into the debate: Is life a series of tests? Things get thrown at you to see how you do, how you rise (or not) to the occasion?

Or, is life more like a battlefield where you get tossed a ton of stuff that God/the universe/whatever knows you can handle?

The only answer I have: Does it matter?

Of course not.

I believe everyone does their very best no matter what’s handed to them. Some people’s best isn’t good enough, of course, but they truly are trying as best they can based on their mindset and life experiences.

I struggle to accept that hardships are doled out only to those who can handle them because what does that say about everyone whose life just sort of floats by? If the implication is that it’s because they couldn’t handle something thrown their way, what does it say about the universe’s opinion of that person?

Let’s back up a step or two.

In February, while in a hotel room across the country, I awoke with a pinched nerve in my lower back. I could barely stand, let alone bend down to tie my shoes. But I wanted to go home. So, I limped and scooted and cried my way through a connecting flight, a layover, and a snow delay. It. was. awful. (I refuse to believe that kind of thing is thrown at me–or anyone–simply because you have the capacity to get through it. If it’s true, the universe is a jerk, which I refuse to believe because the world is a genuinely good place. Generally speaking. The lady who shoved past me boarding the Southwest connect from Dallas to Indy? Less good… I mean, we were all going the same place at the same rate, so why shove? But that’s beside the point.)

I got home, called my chiro, started therapy. It took about a month, but my back healed.

Feeling awesome, I ran a 10k the last week of April, then the first week of May I fell on a hike and sprained my ankle.

Shoot.

I spent the next eight weeks recovering.

Poor Cooper in all this. He trained with me–I wanted to run a half marathon this year–and because of my back and then my ankle, he sat out almost four months.

The end of June approached and I felt like I could start jogging again, at least slowly and carefully. I went on a jog. It was A-OK. Coop pulled a bit more than usual because we’d been off our training for so long, but no big deal. Nothing we couldn’t recover from. It took a little extra for my ankle to recover, but I felt like I could get up and running–literally–again soon.

And then, at the end of June, I thought I got the flu.

I spent a week sicker than I’ve ever been. Ever. And I’ve had cancer! Toward the end of the week, I started to feel incrementally better, but I figured I’d call my GP anyway. Just to be safe. I called on Friday, got an appointment for the following Tuesday.

I sat there that morning reviewing everything with him, and he concluded that I had a virus. He said if I was still sick in a few days to call back and they’d test me for parasites. I was, so I did. That was Friday.

Two days later, on Sunday, I landed in the ER.

They ran a bunch of tests, and I knew it wasn’t good when the nurse came in and said, “Don’t eat or drink anything else in case you need to go into surgery.”

Um. What gets cut out if you have the flu?

They started me on IV antibiotics. My gut was filled with infection. They admitted me into the hospital. (Quick aside to say the hospital is the worst place in the world to be if you’re sick. You don’t get any rest. If you do manage to fall asleep, they wake you up to check your vitals! After a week in the hospital, I was exhausted!!!)

“Do you have your appendix?” they asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“We can’t find it on the imaging, but it’s probably behind your inflamed intestine.”

Fast forward: It wasn’t.

I spent a week in the hospital. Then I spent a little over a week getting outpatient antibiotic infusions each day. Then another week of oral antibiotics.

Now, the docs are in a debate: Did an underlying problem cause my appendix to perforate and leak into my gut? Or did my perforated appendix cause the inflammation in my intestines?

Again, my answer: Does it matter?

Of course not. As long as they eventually figure it out. So, I have my next test, which examines the underlying problem question, on Monday. Once that’s done and the results are back, the surgeon will remove the piece of appendix that remains.

Was all this handed to me to test my commitment to running a half marathon?

If so, well, I think I’m going to throw in the towel on that goal anyways. The only reason I picked that goal was, well, first… to have a goal. I like to be working toward something throughout the year. But, second, it was to do something with Cooper that he really, truly loves. What does Cooper really, truly love? Running.

But here’s where it all comes full circle: I think something’s up with Cooper’s back knees or hips. I’m not sure I would’ve noticed it without this forced hiatus because, here’s the thing about Cooper: He pushes through ANYTHING in order to run.

Seriously. The boy will overheat unless I force him to stop. He’ll go until he drops unless I monitor him and our progress carefully. He gets so single-minded that I have to be super vigilant.

Could these weeks of no running have allowed this problem to float to the surface? Maybe.

Could it be that he’s felt pain all along and just didn’t show it? Maybe.

Could it be that my forced stillness for long periods of time, something I avoid as a restless person, allowed me the opportunity to watch, to really see his gait? Maybe.

Yet again: It doesn’t matter.

I changed his joint supplement. We first tried Glycoflex, which had always worked for Emmett. It made Coop puke. #ofcourse

Now he’s on DGP, which worked wonders for Lucas. We just started so I can’t report progress yet, but if it works, I think combined with his new CBD regimen, we’ll get back on track.

Who knows? Maybe if this hadn’t happened, Coop and I would’ve pushed too hard for his joints or hips. You can never know what might’ve happened, but in a weird way, I guess this is the silver lining of my perforated appendix: I spotted and am now treating his joint pain.

His pain is clearly something he can handle, whether it’s a test, a gift of the universe, or a fluke. My appendix, same thing.

But it doesn’t matter what’s what. All that matters is that we put our heads down, stay focused, and heal. Even if that means letting go of a goal set at the beginning of the year.

We are really, truly doing our very best.

New goal: Swimming with Cooper? Insert chin-scratch-thinking emoji here.

(I did get him this, but we never opened our pool last year. Maybe this is his year!)

Anyway, so. Yeah. That’s how I spent my summer vacation! How’s yours?