Oh My Dog!

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How to Teach Your Kids to Take Care of Pets

Last month I wrote about dogs and babies and common sense safety measures. A number of questions came up around one central theme:

OK, I want my pets and kids to get along, but how can I involve my kids in pet care while staying safe?

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Why should kids help take care of pets?

Years ago, I volunteered at an animal welfare booth, and the volunteers traded stories about various rescue experiences. The topic turned to dog bites, and I relayed a story of a 10-year-old who was bitten by their dog during feeding time. One of the volunteers said, “Well, that’s on the parents! Children shouldn’t be allowed to feed dogs–it’s unsafe!”

Now, if your dog has resource issues or if he’s a brand-new addition to your family or if you have some other legitimate issue you’re working on with your pup, sure, involving your kids in that area probably isn’t a great idea. You do need safety measures in place.

However, when it comes to basic pet care, it’s so important to get kids involved. Why?

Compassion and responsibility.

Kids learn how important it is to care for another, to meet the needs of someone other than themselves.

Plus, it helps your pets bond with your kid.

Pet Care Chores for Little Kids

You know your kid best. You know how well he or she listens to and follows instructions. You know the depth of his or her still-developing motor skills. Here are four ideas to get you started, knowing you may need to adapt them to your kiddo’s abilities:

Water: Every morning, Violet comes downstairs, and her first thing she does is take a big cup of water that I’ve filled at the sink and pour it into the pet fountain. (It’s this. It’s WAY too big for her to fill at the sink with her steps.) Sure, there are lots of spills, but I’ll happily wipe up the floor to let her learn how to help care for her animals. And now she will say, “I spilled! I need a rag!” and will wipe up her own spills.

Food: If your dog eats kibble from a bowl, scooping and filling is an awesome chore under supervision. This isn’t a chore that works in our house since Coop eats The Farmer’s Dog out of a puzzle feeder… but I can see “stuffing puzzles” a chore for her in a few years!

The cats eat kibble for lunch each day, and she loves dumping the scoops into their bowls or puzzles (I still measure because I want to feed them the exact amount to keep their weight in check).

Grooming: No, your little kid shouldn’t be wielding a pair of nail clippers, but teaching your kid how to brush out your pup is a fantastic exercise in care and compassion. Don’t expect your dog to come away fully groomed, of course, and this is an area where you know your dog and kid best: If your dog hates grooming, skip this one.

Training: Your small child won’t be able to teach your pup complicated tricks or obedience; however, he or she most certainly can get involved in what you’re training. Here are two examples in our house: Every time we leave for the day, we ask Coop to go to his bed and give him a treat to work on. Now, Violet sends him to his bed and gives him his treat–and she’s a stickler! If he’s not fully on, she’ll wait, “All the way, Coopsie!” Another fun one is to help your dog learn “touch” to your kiddo’s outstretched hand. This is an awesome way to get them to work together in a fun way that rewards your pup.

Beyond that, little kids always want to help, so asking them to hold the roll of pickup bags or clipping a second leash to your pup’s harness so they can help “walk” the dog or running to get the clippers out of the drawer for you to groom, and so on, all help your kiddo feel important and involved while learning how to care for your dog.

Pet Care Chores for Big Kids

Bigger kids are limited only by what’s expected of them…

Truly, if you teach and model what needs to happen, and then you empower your kids to do it, they will.

Some examples of pet care chores for big kids:

  • Feeding and watering
  • Cleaning the water fountain and replacing the filter
  • Scooping the litter box
  • Picking up the yard
  • Stuffing puzzle toys
  • Training with you and your dog, including taking training classes together
  • Daily playtime

Kids with their licenses can take the family pet to the vet as long as they’ve been walked through how to do it responsibly. This used to be my responsibility in high school.

Some Caveats…

You’ll notice neither list included walking the dog. It’s not that big kids aren’t capable. They are. However… and, again, this is something you need to decide for your kid, your dog, and your neighborhood… there are too many potential safety issues that require a responsible adult. Again, this is in my opinion. You might live somewhere without a loose dog here or there. Your dog might not react to a cat crossing the street. Your kid might be able to walk around the block without his or her face buried in her phone (this is all the teens in my neighborhood walking their dogs…). Honestly, this is a judgement call you need to make. For me, this is one where the variables are too many and too significant. That said, walking and hiking together as a family is super important and models responsible behavior!

Ultimately, though, as the responsible adult, you need to decide what chores your kids can take on, then you need to teach them how to do them. You’ll probably have to review it dozens of times and clean up spills along the way, but don’t let that deter you from empowering your kid to take on additional responsibility and family contributions! In the short term it might require more from you, but in the long term you’re teaching your kid compassion and responsibility.

How do your kids, nieces and nephews, or friends help take care of the animals around you? Have you taught and empowered kids to help? What questions do you have about taking the steps needed to teach your kiddos how to help take care of your pets? Let us know in the comments below!

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Have you considered training him?

My adorable 9-year-old pit mix, Cooper. In a recent conversation with a neighbor who I've never met, she asked me, "Have you considered training him?" Oh, but let me count the ways...

A few weeks ago, John and I spent a long Saturday morning pulling weeds and mulching our front garden. My sister offered to hang with Violet so we could get it done, and I think we were approximately 432 percent more efficient than we would’ve been had she been outside with us.

I listened to a podcast while John listened to his book. About an hour into the job, John went inside to grab us waters. Down the block, I saw a woman walking toward us on the opposite side of the street with an adorable, tiny JRT. He strutted at the end of his leash like he was King. I smiled as he puffed his chest to mark the mailbox on the corner.

John came outside, and I pointed the dog out to him. “He’s so tiny and cocky,” we laughed. She saw us looking, I think, and as she reached the midpoint of our yard, she yelled across the road, “What are you doing?”

I took out my headphones. “Pulling weeds,” I yelled back.

“I need to see what you’re doing,” she shouted as she dragged her little dog across the street and up our yard.

Thus began a 45-minute long, unceasing cascade of words. She asked us a million questions, but just as one of us would start to answer, she’d barrel into the next topic or talk over our response or simply provide her answer to what she’d asked us. After a handful of minutes, we both just sort of sat on the ground, looking up at her and nodding periodically as she kept going. John spent a good 10 minutes scratching her dog.

We learned about all the people who live in every nook and cranny up and down our block. We learned about all the troubles she’s had with the trees in her backyard. We learned all about the neighborhood HOA meetings and who does and doesn’t pay their dues.

And then Cooper barked.

From somewhere inside the house, he barked. Her dog perked up. She suggested we bring him outside, I suppose to meet her little dog.

“Cooper is a wonderful dog,” I said, “but he doesn’t like to meet other dogs on leash.”

We then learned about her friend who bought a German shepherd who was so dog aggressive that if it had been her dog she would’ve demanded her money back.

She paused. “Is your dog a rescue?” she asked in that pitying tone often used to explain away bad behavior.

“Yes, but that doesn’t have anything to do with his issues. He’s fearful and reactive,” I said.

Before I could say anything else, she jumped in. “He probably just needs to meet more dogs.”

I took a deep, steadying breath. “Well, he actually loves playing with other dogs at our house and at doggy daycare. He just can’t meet them on leash, especially out in front of our house like this. He’d go crazy.”

She looked me in the eye and asked, “Have you ever considered training him?”

OMG! NO! That never occurred to me! Train my dog?!? Are you SERIOUS?!

Kidding aside, clearly this woman doesn’t know us from a stranger in line at the coffee shop, so how could she possibly know how much time, energy, effort, expense, etc. etc. we’ve poured into this beloved dog of ours? She couldn’t, of course.

She knew superficial stuff about all the people up and down the street (“she’s a single mom and goes to school,” “she used to babysit kids in this neighborhood as a kid herself,” “he switched cable providers three times last year alone,” and so on) but she doesn’t really, truly know who they are or what their struggles are.

Just like she doesn’t know us and has no clue all we’ve done for Coops.

My point isn’t to be indignant–this isn’t a how dare she?!?!–but rather, it served as a solid reminder that you just never know. You never know someone’s whole story. You never know someone’s struggles.

You never know.

So, since you don’t know and I don’t know and she doesn’t know… why not make an effort to assume the best about someone instead of the worst? Or offer support instead–a simple “Can I help?” doesn’t hurt.

When it comes to our dogs, we do our best. We do what we think is our best, anyway. We try our hardest. No, sometimes our best and our hardest isn’t good enough, but ultimately it’s all any of us can do.

I didn’t feel indignant about her question, but I did feel indignant on behalf of Coopsie.

He. tries. his. best.

Every single day, even when it’s really, really hard for him, he tries. Sometimes he fails. Oftentimes, actually. I fail, too. It’s more important that we work hard and we work together.

My lesson in that conversation came down to this: When you make an assumption about someone, you have two choices. You can assume the best or you can assume the worst. Neither takes more or less time or energy than the other, so why not assume the best? It’s the kinder route for both parties, I think.

I’ll defend Cooper every day of the week, but who knows… that woman who lives down the block and around the corner, well, I’m going to assume that she really, truly cares about the people and pets on her street. It’s easy to assume she’s just another suburban Gladys Kravitz, but you don’t snoop unless you care, right?

Plus, her dog really was super cute.

Read more: What I wish you knew about my reactive dog…

The Year That Wanted to Kill Me

Or, how a perforated appendix tipped the scales in Cooper’s favor…

Running with Cooper

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I thought about calling this post: What I Did on My Summer Vacation. Do you remember writing that essay every year in elementary school? 🙂

About a week ago, I waited on the gurney for my CT scan, and the nurse and tech started chatting. They brought me into the debate: Is life a series of tests? Things get thrown at you to see how you do, how you rise (or not) to the occasion?

Or, is life more like a battlefield where you get tossed a ton of stuff that God/the universe/whatever knows you can handle?

The only answer I have: Does it matter?

Of course not.

I believe everyone does their very best no matter what’s handed to them. Some people’s best isn’t good enough, of course, but they truly are trying as best they can based on their mindset and life experiences.

I struggle to accept that hardships are doled out only to those who can handle them because what does that say about everyone whose life just sort of floats by? If the implication is that it’s because they couldn’t handle something thrown their way, what does it say about the universe’s opinion of that person?

Let’s back up a step or two.

In February, while in a hotel room across the country, I awoke with a pinched nerve in my lower back. I could barely stand, let alone bend down to tie my shoes. But I wanted to go home. So, I limped and scooted and cried my way through a connecting flight, a layover, and a snow delay. It. was. awful. (I refuse to believe that kind of thing is thrown at me–or anyone–simply because you have the capacity to get through it. If it’s true, the universe is a jerk, which I refuse to believe because the world is a genuinely good place. Generally speaking. The lady who shoved past me boarding the Southwest connect from Dallas to Indy? Less good… I mean, we were all going the same place at the same rate, so why shove? But that’s beside the point.)

I got home, called my chiro, started therapy. It took about a month, but my back healed.

Feeling awesome, I ran a 10k the last week of April, then the first week of May I fell on a hike and sprained my ankle.

Shoot.

I spent the next eight weeks recovering.

Poor Cooper in all this. He trained with me–I wanted to run a half marathon this year–and because of my back and then my ankle, he sat out almost four months.

The end of June approached and I felt like I could start jogging again, at least slowly and carefully. I went on a jog. It was A-OK. Coop pulled a bit more than usual because we’d been off our training for so long, but no big deal. Nothing we couldn’t recover from. It took a little extra for my ankle to recover, but I felt like I could get up and running–literally–again soon.

And then, at the end of June, I thought I got the flu.

I spent a week sicker than I’ve ever been. Ever. And I’ve had cancer! Toward the end of the week, I started to feel incrementally better, but I figured I’d call my GP anyway. Just to be safe. I called on Friday, got an appointment for the following Tuesday.

I sat there that morning reviewing everything with him, and he concluded that I had a virus. He said if I was still sick in a few days to call back and they’d test me for parasites. I was, so I did. That was Friday.

Two days later, on Sunday, I landed in the ER.

They ran a bunch of tests, and I knew it wasn’t good when the nurse came in and said, “Don’t eat or drink anything else in case you need to go into surgery.”

Um. What gets cut out if you have the flu?

They started me on IV antibiotics. My gut was filled with infection. They admitted me into the hospital. (Quick aside to say the hospital is the worst place in the world to be if you’re sick. You don’t get any rest. If you do manage to fall asleep, they wake you up to check your vitals! After a week in the hospital, I was exhausted!!!)

“Do you have your appendix?” they asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“We can’t find it on the imaging, but it’s probably behind your inflamed intestine.”

Fast forward: It wasn’t.

I spent a week in the hospital. Then I spent a little over a week getting outpatient antibiotic infusions each day. Then another week of oral antibiotics.

Now, the docs are in a debate: Did an underlying problem cause my appendix to perforate and leak into my gut? Or did my perforated appendix cause the inflammation in my intestines?

Again, my answer: Does it matter?

Of course not. As long as they eventually figure it out. So, I have my next test, which examines the underlying problem question, on Monday. Once that’s done and the results are back, the surgeon will remove the piece of appendix that remains.

Was all this handed to me to test my commitment to running a half marathon?

If so, well, I think I’m going to throw in the towel on that goal anyways. The only reason I picked that goal was, well, first… to have a goal. I like to be working toward something throughout the year. But, second, it was to do something with Cooper that he really, truly loves. What does Cooper really, truly love? Running.

But here’s where it all comes full circle: I think something’s up with Cooper’s back knees or hips. I’m not sure I would’ve noticed it without this forced hiatus because, here’s the thing about Cooper: He pushes through ANYTHING in order to run.

Seriously. The boy will overheat unless I force him to stop. He’ll go until he drops unless I monitor him and our progress carefully. He gets so single-minded that I have to be super vigilant.

Could these weeks of no running have allowed this problem to float to the surface? Maybe.

Could it be that he’s felt pain all along and just didn’t show it? Maybe.

Could it be that my forced stillness for long periods of time, something I avoid as a restless person, allowed me the opportunity to watch, to really see his gait? Maybe.

Yet again: It doesn’t matter.

I changed his joint supplement. We first tried Glycoflex, which had always worked for Emmett. It made Coop puke. #ofcourse

Now he’s on DGP, which worked wonders for Lucas. We just started so I can’t report progress yet, but if it works, I think combined with his new CBD regimen, we’ll get back on track.

Who knows? Maybe if this hadn’t happened, Coop and I would’ve pushed too hard for his joints or hips. You can never know what might’ve happened, but in a weird way, I guess this is the silver lining of my perforated appendix: I spotted and am now treating his joint pain.

His pain is clearly something he can handle, whether it’s a test, a gift of the universe, or a fluke. My appendix, same thing.

But it doesn’t matter what’s what. All that matters is that we put our heads down, stay focused, and heal. Even if that means letting go of a goal set at the beginning of the year.

We are really, truly doing our very best.

New goal: Swimming with Cooper? Insert chin-scratch-thinking emoji here.

(I did get him this, but we never opened our pool last year. Maybe this is his year!)

Anyway, so. Yeah. That’s how I spent my summer vacation! How’s yours?

How to Keep Your House from Smelling Like Dog

The other night, Violet told her first joke.

We talked to her about smelling things, as one does to a two-year old in spring, and John asked her, “What does Cooper smell like?”

She grinned.

“Cat poop!”

And then she laughed maniacally.

While I appreciate her developing sense of humor, I can assure you: Cooper does not smell like cat poop. In fact, we work to make sure our house doesn’t smell like animals at all, and that includes the litter boxes!

Baby jokes aside, no one wants to live in a house that smells like wet dog or cat or litter box or pet accident. Luckily, it’s not hard to keep your home odor-free.

In this post, I’m breaking down the basics on how to keep your house from smelling like dog AND how to eliminate pet odors as you go. Because they will happen. It’s part of the charm of our pets. 😉 Finally, I want to note that I’m focused on dog odors here. If anyone’s interested in cat odors or how we handle the litter boxes, let me know in the comments below!

In this post, we cover 7 tips on wow to keep your house from smelling like dog! #springcleaning #dogmomhacks

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How to Keep Your House from Smelling Like Dog

  1. Fresh air: This is first because I can’t overstate its importance. For one thing, if you live in a new or a new-ish house, they’re built so well as to be virtually air-tight. That’s great for saving energy but not so great for letting out stink and letting in fresh air. So, open a window whenever you can! Our house, btw, is super leaky and does not fall into that air-tight category. We still have a lot of work to do to fix those problems, but I still make a point to crack or open a window when I’m cleaning or when I start to smell a smell. If you do nothing else on this list, open a window. It’ll make a huge difference.
  2. Filter: Keep your air as clean as possible with HEPA filters. HEPA stands for high-efficiency particulate air. It basically works by forcing air through super-fine mesh filters to trap tiny gunk like dander… and pollen, dust mites, smoke particles. So, make sure you buy HEPA filters for your furnace (we buy this kind). If possible, get a HEPA filter for your vacuum, too. Some vacuums allow you to swap filters, but if not, and if you’re in the market for a new vacuum, here’s my quick thought on that: Cheap is expensive in the long run. We’ve gone through more vacuums than I can remember. They’ve all burnt out, except for our Dyson Animal. (It’s like this one, but they actually don’t make our exact one anymore… ours pre-dated the roller ball thing.) We got in 2005, and it’s outlasted about half a dozen others. Expensive up front, yes, but the cost-per-year is totally reasonable. And it works super well for pet dander.
  3. Easy-to-clean pet products: So many pet products now come with some kind of odor-resistant technology built in. The cat bed we featured in our 2018 holiday gift guide, for instance, has probiotic technology baked in to prevent odors. At the very least-though, any bedding should have a removable, machine-washable cover like this bed Cooper uses. (BTW, we got this bed ages and ages ago as a press sample when I wrote for a pet magazine, and it still looks basically brand new… back to my point that cheap is expensive in the long run!) And then, of course, wash bed covers, towels, and soft toys on a weekly basis. I do a load of Cooper’s laundry–bed covers, stuffies, towels–along with Ripley’s mice because they all just get smelly with daily use. Definitely don’t run out to buy replacement products unless you are in need of something. I’m never one to recommend buying something for the sake of buying it. However, when you are in the market, look for pet products with anti-microbial odor-resistant technology or at least easy-to-clean features!
  4. Cover stuff: This sounds obvious, I guess, but someone recently mentioned the smell their couch picked up from their dog. “Do you have a quilt or something on your couch?” I asked. Nope. OK, here’s the thing: No one wants their furniture obscured by ugly sheets or drop cloths. However, your couch, unless it’s slipcovered, isn’t easily washed. So, get some blankets that fit your decor, things you actually like, and put them down on your sofa as a pretty throw. Encourage your pup to sleep there instead of on the cushions. Coop and the cats all prefer to be on a blanket, so we have one draped on the couch, the arm chair, and the chaise in our bedroom where Coop sleeps at night. All of those things can be picked up on Saturday morning and put through the washing machine. I also have a cargo liner (this one) for my car for the same reason.
  5. Baking soda and vinegar, your two new best friends: OK, not even kidding, but I buy these two ingredients in bulk. Your house will never smell like pet odors again if you keep baking soda and vinegar on hand! I can clean my entire house top to bottom with those two and save a ton of money, while being gentler on the planet. Plus, they’re both beasts at eliminating dog odors. I have manufactured-wood floors and scrub them with vinegar. The smell dissipates after a few minutes (less if you have the windows open) leaving behind a smell of… nothing. No smell. No pet odors, no chemical cleaning product odors, no nothing. Just air. As for baking soda, everyone already knows it absorbs odors from the air, but did you know you can use it on your dog like a dry shampoo? When you groom your pup (see tip 6 below), sprinkle some onto his fur to absorb gross smells, then brush out. OK, two more quick tips:
    • Vinegar tip: I know this tip won’t be for everyone, but I swear by it so have to share: Stop using fabric softener and dryer sheets (they’re a fire hazard, bad for the environment, filled with toxins, pick your reason why) and start adding vinegar to the fabric softener component of your washing machine. Pet odors will disappear. As will gym odors, baby odors, and front-loading washer odors.
    • Baking soda tip: If you have carpet or area rugs, get ready to take your dog on a super-long walk followed by a thorough outdoor groom! BUT! Before you go, sprinkle a thick coating of baking soda into your carpet. Work it in with a brush. Then, head out for the walk + groom. When you come back, vacuum it all up and breathe in the fresh, odor-free air. (Again, bonus if you can leave your windows open through this process.)
  6. Groom your dog: Confession: I’m not as consistent as I should be with this because Cooper hates it, and I feel bad making him so miserable. But giving your dog–breed dependent, of course–a thorough brushing outdoors can eliminate a ton of indoor odor. Then, a bath–breed dependent, too–gets out the rest of the reek. Bonus points: Follow the bath up with an ACV rinse to have a fresh, clean, happy pup!
  7. Clean accidents immediately: It might not always be possible, like if your pup pukes while you’re at work or something, but the quicker you catch an accident, the better you contain the smell. (Not to mention preventing stains.) Use enzymatic cleaners to prevent marking, of course, and spend some time getting to the root of the problem. Is your dog really, truly, fully house trained? Is there an underlying infection or belly problem? Unless you solve the problem that causes your dog to poop or pee in the house, you’ll never be fully odor-free… (That said, I totally get the occasional freak accident, puke, etc., but still. Figure out why your dog goes inside and work on that.)

No One Wants a Home That Smells Like Dog

Even if you’re a Crazy Dog Lady through and through, like I am, you still don’t want a stinky house. No one wants that. And the thing is, it doesn’t take much effort. The trick is being consistent and staying on top of it.

A final note on essential oils and pet care: I’m sure many of you are wondering about this piece. Lots and lots of people advise diffusing oils to eliminate odors. Many essential oils are safe for pets. Many aren’t. I’m not qualified to speak on this, not in the slightest. That said, we do have an oil diffuser, but I do not use it to eliminate pet odors. Period. Plus, all the oils we have–maybe six in total–have been thoroughly researched and shown to be safe to diffuse with both dogs and cats in the home. I wanted to address that up front and just caution you: You do you, but do it safely with lots of due diligence.

I’d love to hear from you: How do you keep your pet-loving home odor-free? What tips and tricks do you use to keep that wet dog smell or dander smell or whatever out of your home? 

Read more about pet-safe house cleaning:

Spring cleaning when you have a house full of animals

Sign up for the zero-waste pet seven-day email challenge to get a full guide to pet-safe cleaning

14 pet-safe plants that clean the air–and you can’t kill them

What Pet Adoption Memes Get Wrong

I’m not someone who’s easily offended. I’m a “live and let live” kind of gal, generally speaking, as long as you’re not hurting or bothering anyone (or yourself).

For ages, though, I found myself rolling my eyes over the same pet adoption memes again and again. But I never thought to comment on them.

Fast forward to this past week when I read a long, emotional post from a family in an adoption group I’m in talking about how one of their middle-school-aged children mentioned in a class project that he was adopted, and the other kids started saying things like: Do you think your real mom will ever come back to get you? At least you weren’t aborted! Are you afraid your adoptive parents will change their minds and give you back? and so on…

The parents’ request was simple: Please talk to your children about adoption so they don’t inadvertently crush my kid.

Juxtapose that with the pet adoption memes I kept seeing, and I finally realized there’s a teaching opportunity here!

What Pet Adoption Memes Get Wrong

No, I don’t harbor any delusions of changing the internet, but I also feel like when it comes to topics like adoption, there’s just not enough conversation out there. So, here’s an avenue to ask YOUR questions, add your voice, and share your ideas. I wanted to start the discussion with seemingly-harmless pet adoption memes.

There are two memes in particular I want to address: the “you’re not my real mom” meme and the “adopt love” meme.

Real Moms

This one, you guys:

What Pet Adoption memes get WRONG

It’s everywhere with tons of different breeds.

Or there’s this version:

What pet adoption memes get wrong about moms

Everywhere.

Here’s the thing: The amazing woman who gave birth to Violet and I are BOTH her real moms. End of story. Pet adoption memes somehow imply that either the birth mom (or some prefer “first mom” or “natural mom” but it’s up to her how she wants to identify) or the adoptive mom are less “real” than the other. I can assure you, we are both real women who both have important roles in Violet’s life. Sure, it seems funny because they’re animals so obviously we’re not the mom, though I argue that many, many, many pet people do consider themselves their pet’s parent, and that’s a no-less-real role.

Using these supposedly funny pet adoption memes about “real” moms belittles and judges both women who are moms to an adoptee. It seems silly because it’s pets, but the larger message spreads the hurtful ideas that poor kiddo had to face in his middle school classroom.

Also, a small quibble with that first version: In this day and age, adoptees know they’re adopted. It should be a part of their life story because, well, it’s a part of their life. A big part. The whole “OMG?!?!?” trope is played out.

Love for Sale

This one:

 

 

Um. OK.

I get the idea they’re trying to share, that adopting a shelter animal brings love. However, these memes perpetuate a dangerous myth for shelter animals because it implies that as soon as you bring your adopted pet home, he or she will love you to pieces. Life will be great. You’ve adopted love, after all!

I can tell you: Out of the three dogs we’ve adopted, that’s only been true for one of them. For the fosters and cats? None.

It also places MASSIVE amounts of pressure on adoptive families who adopt older kids, kids who have been through the wringer of the foster system, kids from overseas… it says: Hey! Adopt and get love! When the reality is that it takes hard, long, dedicated work to build trust and build a bond that eventually leads to love.

Plus, another small quibble: Is there an unstated implication that if you purchase a pet from a breeder, you’re not getting love?

Ultimately

The heart is in the right place. I get that with pets the human emotion isn’t a part of the equation, so the memes seem funny. I hope to share, though, the greater implications behind these “jokes” and what it might look like to the humans in the adoption triad: the birth mom, the adoptive mom (or dad), and the adoptee.

My feathers get ruffled when I see adopted children getting picked on simply because they’re adopted. I feel like pet adoption memes perpetuate ideas about adoption that just aren’t true. And I personally think adopted children are doubly lucky because they have a birth family and an adoptive family, multiplying the love in their life and in the world.

I do know that lots and lots of people get THEIR feathers ruffled when kids are compared to pets, but… let’s be honest here. There are a lot of similarities. So, it’s my hope with this post to open a conversation about adoption–whether you’re coming at it from the pet side, the human side, or the enjoys-memes side.

What do you think? I’d love to know in the comments your impression of these pet adoption memes and what questions you have about adoption from any angle! This is a safe space for any question that might comes up. I think we learn best when we share our own experiences, so I’d LOVE to know your take in the comments below!