Oh My Dog!

obsessed with dogs

Dear Newt

OK, Newtie. I know what you’re thinking.

You’re thinking, Of course. Of course you’re late writing my letter. I’m amazed you’re even writing one at all. How many years have you missed, hmmmm? 

I could argue that I’m writing this Gotcha Day letter a little early! Looking back, you appeared at John’s Louisiana apartment end of September/early October 2012. He was still trying to find a home for you–or find your owners if you were lost–and had you spayed in November. It wasn’t until after that, when he saw how upset you were for your vet visit and spay, that he decided you were staying. I think after John came home for the holidays and worried about you with the pet sitters the entire time, it was official. So, I guess I could say… this is right on time? At least in the window…

Newt

Anyway, Newt, you are one special girl.

You are the first cat either John or I ever had, and we couldn’t have asked for a better cat to teach us the ropes.

Why?

Because you know exactly what you want, and you know exactly how to ask for it! I’ve had quite a number of nibbles over the years to whip me right into shape!

I’m joking, but only a little because you used to bite me a lot! I think a big part of that was because you had John all to yourself, then I suddenly appeared with three dogs in tow… and one of those dogs did NOT get along with you for a long, long while. And then there was the foster dog who wanted to chase you relentlessly. Then there was the foster kitten. Then there was Ripley. Yeah, we have asked a lot of you over the years, but you’ve risen to the occasion–and sometimes even more than we could imagine–time after time. I think the only instance where you just couldn’t was the move from Louisiana to Indiana. (To be fair, none of us could on that drive…)

Introducing cats- How Ripley and Newt became BFFs

You defy many cat stereotypes, Newt. You’re adaptable. You’re brave. You love going outside on a leash. You enjoy meeting new people (as long as they don’t touch you until you’re ready, at which point you saunter over and sit on their lap). When it comes to dogs, you know how to keep them in line. You’ve met so many in your lifetime, from our pups to fosters to cousin dogs to friend dogs, and you meet them all with the same resigned ferocity: Look, you. You do what I want, and I won’t swat you. Push my buttons, and I will swat you. And, so far, every dog has fallen in line!

We were meant to be your family, if only because we’re willing to bend over backwards to make sure you’re happy!

More than that, though, you brought and continue to bring levity and laughter. For such a serious gal, you have moments of pure, unrestrained joy, like when you wrestle with a hair tie or sprint laps around the house doing wall jumps and leaps. (At which point Violet yells, “HA CA!” (aka, HOT CAT!) which her Auntie Jeree and Uncle Sammy taught her!)

You “Mama Cat” Ripley and tolerate shenanigans from the toddler, though one of our few nonnegotiable rules is that she’s not allowed to touch you because the aforementioned nibbles. She follows it pretty darn well, but you’ve gotten really good about reading her moods, too. In fact, you read everyone–dog, human, cat–which is, I think, how you keep us all in line. You know what we’re going to do before we do it!

Newt in the bow tie

Every day, when you settle onto my lap for a little afternoon snooze, I think just how lucky we are to have your fuzzy, bunny-soft, sweet, and fiery little soul in our family.

Six years ago, you arrived. You picked John. You waltzed into our lives–literally–by marching yourself into his apartment. You know how to read people. You picked the right family. And we’re so, so grateful you do.

We love you, Newtie! We’re so grateful you’re you!

Looking back, holy moly. It was an epic battle to integrate cats and dogs but obviously so, so worth it. For anyone who’s thinking about introducing cats and dogs, I have a ton of posts I’ll link below in case it’s helpful. Now that we’ve done cat + cat introductions, too, I can share our experiences there. Or, if you have any questions, leave ’em in the comments below, and I’ll do my best to answer!

And now we have peace! 🙂

One final note, I had the opportunity to share my tips on bringing a new cat home for the 2019 Blogging Cats Weekly Planner, a blog planner put together by our friend Paula who runs the blog Sweet Purrfections. You can purchase a copy (we’re December!!) here.

Cat Meowing While Carrying a Toy? Yep, that’s a thing! And Newtie does it!

Yowling.

That’s the only word I can think to describe it.

Meowing is close, but it doesn’t have the right edge, the sharpness.

Dog friends: This one’s about cats. Read on if you’d like to learn about a funny cat-ism or, if you want to read something dog today, I highly recommend this post on social skills for introverted dogs and their humans.

Anyway, the yowling.

Or, maybe it’s more of a mournful holler?

Regardless: Every single night without fail for about six weeks now, Newtie yowls. She goes upstairs while we’re downstairs–it’s only ever if we’re on separate levels–and she yowls. Then she picks up a cat toy in her mouth while still vocalizing, carries the cat toy somewhere else, drops it, and yowls some more.

Does your cat meow or yowl while carrying a toy? Here are a couple reasons (maybe) why!

It took us a while to connect the toy moving to the yowling since she will never, ever, ever do this when we’re nearby, but once we put the pieces together, it reminded me of her relationship with Teddy. Do you guys remember Teddy?

The main difference is that she chatted with Teddy. It was conversational. Chirpy.

And it was when she was transitioning to life with dogs.

Which made me wonder: Is this behavior related to transition in some way? Now that Violet’s here and Violet’s become insanely mobile / terrifying, is Newt going through a similar stress period? Or is it not stress and something else entirely?

And what do we do when we wonder something? We look it up! (Sorry, sorry, sorry… Sesame Street on the brain…)

Turns out, “cat meowing while carrying toy” is a hugely popular Google search! Nearly 5 million pieces of content about cats carrying toys and yowling.

{{Aside: At first we thought she was upset, so we’d yell upstairs, “It’s OK, Newtie! Come down and get a treat!” Or we’d go up to visit with her. Of course, the behavior would immediately stop. See pic above. That’s her looking over the stairs at us like, “What?” Now that we know she’s not upset, I really want to get video of this because it’s actually pretty funny and VERY LOUD for such a tiny cat, but it’s a conundrum because if she thinks we’re around she won’t do it.}}

Does your cat do this?

The gist from my info-gathering is that cats mostly vocalize when hunting or moving kittens.

I found this super old Q&A that resonated with me (beyond the utterly endearing way folks in the UK spell “miaowing”):

Pet cats will sometimes show a modified version of this behaviour, carrying around toys and perhaps hiding them. Some female cats will also keep collections of toys that they regularly move around as if shifting a litter of kittens.

You could look at this and think that it is sad because the cat is clearly trying to compensate for something that she is missing, but it is more likely that these are just inbuilt patterns of behaviour that some cats get a bit confused about and carry out in slightly inappropriate situations.

And build off of that, I found another interesting article that took the “inappropriate” part of that previous point to a more positive place (play):

Mother cats will often teach their kittens to hunt by catching prey and bringing it back to their kittens, giving the kittens something to practice hunting on. When kitty makes a big fuss to having a toy in their mouth, they want you to pay attention to it. Making a fuss over toys isn’t a cats only part of cat play. … This sort of play teaches your cat to show off their treasures through meows and other noises and provides your cat with mental and physical stimulation. Play is a huge part of why cats meow with their treasures as well as wanting your attention to notice them and the toy in their mouth. The meow sounds like the cat is in distress but they are actually quite the opposite and want you to notice what they are doing.

I’m dismissing the idea of an invitation to play only because she immediately drops the toy and stops when we come upstairs to check on her. She does the cat equivalent of a shoulder shrug.

OK, so that leaves two working theories:

  1. Newt wants to teach Ripley how to hunt. (Or maybe Violet?)
  2. Newtie was a street cat picked up after sexual maturity so mayyyyybe she had kittens? And still has that instinct to move kittens and per that first quote is “a bit confused.”

I’m not sure the answer, of course. Newt won’t divulge either! Well, actually, she’s clearly trying to, and I’m the dimwitted human who can’t figure out what she’s trying so hard to tell me…

Have you ever had a cat who meows with a toy in her mouth? From my Googling, it’s clear Newt’s not the only cat walking around yowling and carrying a toy, so if your cat has ever done this, what do you think? What was she or he trying to tell you? I’d love to learn more about this behavior!

Train Your Cat to Walk on a Leash: Outdoor Safety for Indoor Cats

Have you ever thought about taking your indoor cat outside?

Have you ever wondered how to train your cat to walk on a leash?

This is the foundation for outdoor safety for indoor cats.

I do want to note: The purpose of this post isn’t to argue that I think it’s best for cats to be indoor only. Cats do live a longer, happier, healthier life if they’re indoor only (with exceptions for feral cats, which our shelter has an amazing barn cat program to provide safe havens for those cats, too). Here, on our neighborhood NextDoor, there’s a constant stream of posts about cats being killed by coyotes, and we had the horror of finding what was left of a kitty post-coyote in our front yard.

Which, of course, is why I want my cats to be indoor-only.

They want to go outside. The LOVE to go outside. I don’t want them to be killed by a coyote or a car, get into fights with other cats, pick up diseases, etc., etc., etc. but I do want to enrich their “catness.” So, I’ve leash trained my cats.

We’ve taken a ton of flak for it, too, but I stand by our system, so I thought I’d share it with you guys in case anyone else was interested in safely taking their cat outside.

Train Your Cat to Walk on a Leash_ Outdoor Safety for Indoor Cats

 

Why take your cat outside on leash?

It’s enriching: Being outside gives your cat the opportunity to smell fresh air, to munch on grass, to chase bugs.

It’s stimulating: Lots of cats are bored. That boredom can result in all sorts of undesirable things like overweight kitties who have nothing to do but lounge all day OR troublesome/naughty behaviors from kitties who create their own entertainment. Getting outdoors stimulates all her senses and exercises some of her instincts, resulting in a less problematic behaviors inside your house.

It’s fun: She’ll have a grand time. You will, too, seeing her antics. Be sure to bring a camera!

And, depending on your cat’s personality, it can strengthen and enhance your bond. She’ll have to trust you as you go out and about, and you’ll have to give her license to lead the way. You’ll explore together, have fun together, and build on your relationship! For me, I was pleased to find that Ripley would come running to me when I crouched down and called her, so of course I lavishly rewarded her for that good behavior!

Safety First!

Equipment matters.

When you take your cat out on leash, you can’t clip the leash to the collar like you might with a dog. You need a harness. That said, your cat also needs to be wearing a collar that has a tag with her name and your (correct) contact info on it. But the leash clips to the harness.

We’re extra cautious with this because cats are masters at wriggling out of seemingly cat-proof situations.

Both our cats wear two harnesses when we take them outside.

We put a vest-style harness on first. Newtie wears the butterfly-print cat harness from Sturdi Products, which I can’t seem to find on Amazon anymore. Maybe they’re sold out? But it’s like this one (though cuter, imo!). Ripley’s is this one. Then, on top of each of their vest-style harnesses, we add a second buckle harness like this. The leash clips to both so if one malfunctions, there’s a backup in place.

Do you need two?

Well, no. But, it makes me feel safer!

As for the leash, use whatever lightweight leash you have! We actually use a 20-foot-long training leash that we used with the dogs for recalls. No, we don’t walk them down the sidewalks with a 20-foot leash. This is just to let them roam as they please around our yard. It’s long enough for them to run and jump and play but not long enough to get out of our fence. If you want to walk your cat down the sidewalk, I recommend a four- or six-foot lead.

OK, so you have your collar and tag, your harness situation, and your leash. Now, let’s dig into the nitty-gritty of actually using this equipment! The fun stuff! The going outside with your cat stuff!

Train Your Cat to Walk on a Leash_ Outdoor Safety for Indoor Cats (1)

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Here’s how to train your cat to walk on a leash:

So much of this process depends on your cat. Newt, for instance, took ages to get used to the harness. Then, she took ages to move slowly outside. Then, she took ages to realize she could walk while outside.

Ripley? This is her first summer with us, so we only just started this process. She was good to go on the first try, though she did just hang in one spot the first two times we took her out. The third time she was like, “AH! This is awesome!” and bounded every which way.

Here are the steps, though your cat determines the pace:

 

  • Get your cat used to the walking harness. Put the equipment on your cat inside your house in a safe space during a calm time.

 

    1. If you have other pets, consider separating them for the first go-round. Offer your cat tons and tons of treats (we like squeeze cheese) and praise. Aim for short sessions of putting it on, doling out treats and praise, taking it off. As your cat starts to feel comfortable, elongate the sessions until she’s cool wearing the equipment.

Our experience:

    Newt took MANY sessions. We’d put the harness on, she’d flop on her side, and play possum. Ripley wriggled like crazy getting it on the first time but was totally fine that very first time. Let your cat set the pace. <— I’ll repeat this refrain through all the steps!!!

  1. Take your cat outside. Once she’s good to go with the equipment, put it on her, then I suggest simply opening the door. She may flee. She may poke her nose into the air and sniff. She may creep forward. She may dash outside. Again, she determines the pace. If you force it, you’ll likely scare her and set your training way back. Repeat this exercise until she either starts going out on her own or is comfy enough (like, she lays in the doorway) that you can encourage her to step out with treats and praise.
    Our experience: We messed this up with Newt. Big time. We simply carried her all the way into the yard and plunked her down. She panicked and scrambled, literally clawing at the back door to be let back in. Lesson learned. It put us back quite a bit, actually, because we had to retrain her to the harness. After that, though, we realized: She sets the pace. With Ripley, we knew better, so we opened the back door, and–Ripley being Ripley–she waltzed herself right out the door. Then she froze stock still and wouldn’t walk one step. But she was outside! Baby (kitten?) steps at their pace!
  2. Let her choose the direction and pace of her first walk. Once she gets outside, she gets to choose which way to go and whether she jumps around after bugs or lounges in a sun spot. At this stage, you’re focused on expanding her horizons, so she gets to do and experience what she wants how she wants. Keep the first walk very, very short.
    Our experience: See above for Newtie’s first time out. Oops. As for Ripley, the first two times she went outside, she didn’t want to walk at all. The third time she decided to explore everything everywhere! Now, when we go outside, John takes one leash, I take the other, and we wander around wherever they want to go.
  3. Start to shape her walking behavior. If you want your cat to venture out beyond your yard, at some point you need to shape the walking behavior. She’s been leading the way, now you need her to follow you, at least in a general direction, though not right by your side like you would with a dog. Use treats (again, we recommend squeeze cheese… easy to dole out and irresistible to kittehs) and walk gently. No pulling or yanking. This will be a sloooowwwwww process.
    Our experience: We decided early on that Newt probably wouldn’t enjoy leaving the yard. Based on how long it took us to get her comfortable, and based on how she behaves when she has to go anywhere else (the car, the vet, a hotel when we moved, etc.) she is a cat who is pretty darn frightened of the wide world. She’s cool at home and in our yard. She gets a ton of exercise, and she LOVES chasing bugs. We’re happy with her not going beyond our fence. Ripley, though, is so adventurous that we’ll start working on it with her!
  4. Make going back inside worthwhile. If possible, time your return indoors with a meal. If it’s not possible, be sure to give lots of her favorite special treats; this is the time to break out the tuna fish or something hugely valuable! Once they’re outside having a fun time, you want to remind them that inside is awesome, too!
    Our experience: Nearly every time she’s been outside, Newt has told us when she wanted to come back inside. She simply walks to the back door. So, we immediately let her in, unclip her harnesses, then give her a treat. Ripley, since she’s so new at this, we’re still rewarding her a ton when we go back inside and last time timed her sojourn with dinnertime.

The bottom line: Don’t rush or push your cat! This should be a fun, rewarding experience for both of you–a way for her to get extra stimulation and enrichment, a way for you two to bond, and a way to possibly improve her behavior indoors. But, if you push her to go at your pace or try to force her into the next step before she’s ready, you might turn going outside into a fearful affair or, worse, diminish her trust in you.

OK, so if you got to this point, way to go! I hope you feel inspired to take your indoor cat outside on a leash!

Are you left with any questions or in need of additional advice? Leave your Qs in the comments, and I’ll come back to share my thoughts! If you decide to take your cat out, let me know in the comments below how it goes!

A Tale of Two Cats: How Ripley and Newt Became Besties

If I had written this post just a few days ago, I would’ve had a very different story to tell.

Luckily, I ran out of time and it took these few extra days because there’s been a twist.

Introducing cats- How Ripley and Newt became BFFs

First off, you guys are so sweet. So many people have asked how Newt is doing with the new kitten. I know I’ve primarily highlighted Ripley’s relationship with Coop because, well, her relationship with Newt was pretty tenuous and slow-going.

{{ICYMI: Here’s how it started with Rip and Coop, and here’s how it is now… prepare to swoon.}}

As you know, Newt is finicky. She’s particular. She’s just Newt. When we decided to adopt Ripley, we were nervous about how she’d do, but we actually had decided to adopt Ripley because Newt was starting to be a bit… um… even more… quirky. In other words: Newt was behaving like an asshole. Just a straight-up meanie. For instance, she bit us in the ankles all day every day for no reason except because we were walking in her vicinity.

We suspect that she felt jealous of Violet and also uncomfortable as Vi has gotten more mobile and more vocal. I did a ton of research and found sort of a general theme of this behavior caused by a new baby is one of the few (if not only) circumstances in which many experts recommend adding a second cat. That’s an oversimplification of the results of my research, but the basic gist was: baby + Newt’s bad behavior + Newt’s personality + our schedules and a new cat just made sense.

Then we spotted Ripley, and it was all over for all of us.

I picked up a few cat behavior books and talked to two cat experts, our vet, and a couple friends who are bonafide cat people.

The consensus was clear on the Newt + Ripley intros: Do it as slowly and safely as possible. Create a communal scent (that is, trading items back and forth so that their scents can co-mingle… with Coop’s, too). Introduce them first with food from a great distance behind gates, then slowly decrease the distance during meal times. Finally, allow super-duper short interactions, but separate them as soon as either one seems nervous.

Rip and Newt are best buds

And we did all that for about five weeks. Newt hissed a ton at first. Ripley hissed a ton at first. Then they kind of stopped hissing, so we moved onto the interactions, and the hissing started back up. We did that for another week to week and a half.

Then, Ripley went for her kitten wellness visit at the vet’s office last Friday.

The vet asked how they were doing, so I told her our whole plan, where we were, how they were acting during each step, and so on. Bless her, she didn’t judge, didn’t say a word, just listened, and then said, “You need to let it go.”

Whaaaaa????

Then she kindly, gently explained: We had done enough. We needed to now step back and allow Newt to set her own boundaries. Ripley will learn better from her than from us.

Um. Oh.

OK.

I called John on the way home and relayed that instruction. “I am NOT comfortable with that,” he said. “But OK. Let’s try it.”

On Friday afternoon, I returned home from the vet, opened Ripley’s crate, and… stood back.

BFFs, The Ripley and Newt edition

There were some super tense moments that night. Like, when they both squeezed under our bed while hissing and swatting at each other.

But then they were kind of just like, “OK.”

Seriously.

It was like they both shrugged, decided on some general rules of engagement, and moved on.

With one exception: Ripley reallllyyyyy wants to cuddle with Newt. That’s unacceptable to Newt, and it’s the only time Newt hisses at her these days. And, if Ripley persists in trying to snuggle with Newtie, Newt growls and ends it real quick.

Otherwise…

How are they doing now?

via GIPHY

Yep.

I don’t think this all would’ve unfolded like this if we had just thrown them together on day one. Newt is far too particular for that. But I do think we were maybe being a smidge more cautious than we had to be in the end? But, you know, I prefer to err on the side of caution when it comes to these guys.

Ripley tries to snuggle Newtie

I’ll close with this: I’m grateful to have wonderful friends who know so much about animals. So, after a few days of the “let it go” method, I took a video and texted to a friend with a single question: Is this normal? She texted back: Yep. 🙂 I don’t know what the official name of this is called, but we’ve deemed it Catball because Newt and Ripley form one ball of cats and roll around the house like a cat tumbleweed.

So, I leave you with this: Catball.

On finding time for pets, people, work, and fun…

Newt Violet Coop

Last night, Violet thumped her legs in her crib on and off all night long.

She wasn’t awake–at least, not until 4 am–but she spent the entire night lifting her chubby little legs and slamming them down. In her sleep. All night.

See, she’s still sleeping in the little crib in our room. SIDS-prevention recommendations now have infants sleep in their parents’ room until at least six months. So, of course, John and I got little sleep.

Newt and Cooper, who also sleep in our room, slept just fine in case you were wondering…

It’s now 7:15. We’ve been up for three hours. We’re on our second pot of coffee. My work hours haven’t even started yet.

And that’s our life these days… a sleepy, coffee-fueled haze! It’s worth every groggy moment, of course, but we’re still groggy.

What does that haziness mean for Cooper and Newt?

This is a question that’s preoccupied my attention for several days now, and a conversation with a friend helped clarify the predicament for me.

Backing up a step: There are different types of dog people. I think of it like a spectrum. On one end are people who have dogs, love them, and meet their basic needs every day. On the other end are, well, us. Me and you. We have dogs. We love them. We meet their basic needs every day. And then we go above and beyond as much and as often as we can. We enroll in training classes and play dog sports. We research and read and test and train and repeat until we’re confident–or, as confident as we can possibly get–that we’re providing our loves with the best, happiest life. It has nothing to do with how much we spend on them, but rather the dedication to ensuring their physical and emotional lives are taken care of.

Now that we have our hands extra full, I keep asking myself: How can I continue to be the dog (and cat) mama who still always goes above and beyond for Coop (and Newt)?

Ultimately, it came down to one question: How do I want to spend my time?

{{Aside: It’s now the next day. I wrote all that yesterday. She woke up at 4 again today. Send coffee.}}

Anyway, time.

The only answer to that question, in my mind, was I want to spend my time having fun with my family.

Except for one huge change that might be coming later today (another story for another day… but it’s a good one…), we’re simplifying everything that took up unnecessary time and funneling that time into family time. For instance, we realized we were spending a huge chunk of our Saturday cleaning and tidying the house, so we hired a lovely woman to come do the deep cleaning stuff every other week. That bought us the time to take a hike every single Saturday morning.

We go through a ton of laundry detergent, so I got a subscription to the eco-friendly version I love so that I never have to go online and reorder. It just magically arrives right as we’re about to run out. We are also testing out a weekly box of meals, which has saved more time than I imagined, not just in the cooking (everything is already measured out and organized) but in trips to the grocery store. Same thing with work clothes. John and I both work from home but have travel and events throughout the year, so we only need a few clothing items annually, so we signed up for a quarterly box of styled work clothes. (If you’re interested in more detail about either of those services, let me know in the comments, and I’m happy to share all our thoughts!)

All that means is that we can spend our evenings playing Recall Relay in the backyard with Coop. It means we can go for a family walk or jog almost every day. It means we can take Newt out on her line after work almost every day, and it means we can go to the library with Violet every Sunday.

Of course, none of that means that things are easy. Or that we’ve made our life simple. It’s still a complex jugging act in which I’m constantly dropping balls. We still have our work days and work travel, and we have lots of other community and family obligations, time with friends, and so on. Oh, and the big (actually… tiny…) thing that might happen this afternoon…

But, I think my new mantra in life is, “Progress, not perfection.”

I’m doing my best to still be the Cooper and Newt mama who goes above and beyond for them every day, and I’d like to think they know that…

How do YOU simplify??

Every new subscriber to both the meal box and the clothing box automatically get a referral link to share. That means if you click on these and subscribe, we both get money off. (If you’re interested in more detail about either of those services, let me know in the comments, and I’m happy to share all our thoughts!)

StitchFix: This link gets you $25 off!

Hungry Root: This link also gets you $30 off!