A collar is not a steering wheel

09•04•18

May I please vent for a moment?

There are few things that bother me more than when I see someone using their dog’s collar to steer, drag, pull, or otherwise force their dog into going or doing something.

I’m not talking about an emergency situation where, like, a bicyclist isn’t paying attention and is about to slam into your dog so you snatch his collar to yank him out of harm’s way. Or other similar scenarios. There are causes and reasons for everything. I get that.

What I’m talking about is when you see someone using a dog’s collar to “drive” their pup when the dog clearly doesn’t want to or doesn’t understand.

It makes me nuts.

A collar is not a steering wheel

Imagine if you’re at a super fun house party with your friend, and you decide to go out onto the patio. The door is open. You’re super pumped to get outside and get some fresh air. You start walking toward the door. Just as your foot is about to hit the threshold of the door, your friend grabs you by your shirt and yanks you backwards, away from the door and into another room.

What the…? You’d likely be shocked at your friend’s behavior!

That would be such a violation of physical space and boundaries that of course your friend would never do that to you.

Yet, people do this to their friends, their dogs, all the time!

I see it everywhere: the guy loading his pup into the car at Lowe’s, the lady dragging her dog outside even though he’s having the time of his life greeting their house guests, the neighbor pulling his dog inside even though he’s having the time of his life barking at everyone walking by, etc. etc. etc. I’m sure you can think of a million other examples, too.

I’ve been guilty of it, too. Just recently, in fact, a glass broke in our kitchen, and I said to Cooper, “Outside!” But he totally wanted to know-slash-taste what had spilled everywhere (pickles), so I grabbed hold of his collar and pushed him out the door. Honestly? Had I asked him again while focusing ON HIM instead of the mess, he probably would’ve just gone out. There wasn’t broken glass there at his feet, so it’s not like it was a truly emergency situation, so it was totally my bad.

(I don’t know if you guys apologize to your dogs when you err, but I totally fess up. I was like, “Cooper, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He forgave me. 🙂 )

Anyway, every time I see it (or mess up and grab Coop’s collar), I cringe.

It’s such an overstepping of boundaries. I would HATE IT, absolutely loathe it, if anyone physically moved me where I didn’t want to go.

So, yeah, while this is a vent, I think the call to action is to think about whether or not you do this. Most of the time–barring those honest-to-goodness emergency situations–it can be completely avoided with better communication. Maybe it’s a call to focus on more training/listening if you find yourself doing this often or find yourself having to do this often because your dog doesn’t pay attention or understand you.

Ultimately, I think we’re all trying to do what’s best, and we are all trying our best in each moment.

No judgement here, just something to think about.

Have you ever used your dog’s collar as a steering wheel? Or are you more self-aware than I am? 😉

Do you think this is a problem behavior? Or do you find this one to be NBD?

Is there a such thing as a perfect dog?

07•20•18

If I had to guess, I’d suppose that I spend more time Googling dog-related topics than the average person.

And it’s not just Google either: My YouTube and Instagram histories are full of all kinds of dog-related searches.

I love it, of course, because as this site proclaims, I am obsessed with dogs.

But, I gotta say… a disturbing trend is emerging.

Is there a such thing as a perfect dog? (Spoiler alert: There is! And he's probably asleep at your feet right now!)

So much stuff online, especially if there’s a product or service associated, is all about the “perfect dog.”

How to train the perfect dog.

How to raise a perfect puppy.

Want a perfect dog? You need this book, this show, this product.

Um.

OK.

I get that just about everyone wants to solve a problem behavior, and I totally believe that everyone should teach their dog a handful of basic manners to make your (and their) life happier and safer in the human world… but… a perfect dog?

What even is a perfect dog?

Who wants an automaton pup who sits or lays still by your side? I don’t think that “perfect dog” could make you laugh nearly so much as an imperfect one!

Aren’t their quirks what make them so them?

I get that this language is designed to sell products.

The idea of perfection ordered online and shipped to your door? A quick fix for $20? I can see how this appeals to some people.

If I buy this collar my dog will behave perfectly.

Once I read this book I’ll be able to get my dog to do what I want, when I want.

But…

None of us are perfect. Expecting total obedience and no funny business from our dogs sets them up for spectacular failure.

If you’re not as immersed in the dog world as I am, as many of you reading this are, you might have an idealized dog in your head. Maybe it was from watching too much Lassie as a kid or falling in love with Air Bud (I mean, who doesn’t want a dog who plays basketball???) but that ideal dog isn’t real, and pitching a few products that proclaim all you have to do is this, that, the other to make it so is a recipe for disaster. Dogs end up in shelters for such painfully, endearingly dog-like behaviors as eating trash out of an open garbage can, for peeing in the house, for barking incessantly. Sure, those are annoying behaviors, but they’re natural to a dog (the trash smells and tastes aahhhhhhmazing! why wouldn’t I pee to stake my claim in my own home? I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!).

Isn’t it incredible and lucky and bewildering that we have the ability to kindly, patiently, compassionately teach them to ignore the behaviors innate to them and follow our weirdo ones that make literally no sense in dog world (you mean I shouldn’t roll in that amazing, fresh pile of random-animal crap?).

Anyway, if you landed here because you’re looking for ways to make your dog perfect, or if you’re here because you share this obsession, the only thing I can tell you is this:

Your dog already is perfect.

He or she is perfect for you, perfect for your family, and perfect as is.

I think we need to flip this script and focus on how we can be more perfect for our dogs.

Because, honestly, they’re already there.

Is your dog ever “trained”? Are you ever finished training?

03•27•18

Cooper is a good dog.

Cooper is a smart dog.

He knows all sorts of things, from the basic obedience cues like sit and stay and down to more complex cues like shutting cabinet doors and performing tricks. Based on what he knows at this point, anything else I teach him is just for fun. Games. Tricks. Nothing too useful but definitely entertaining.

Which means, of course, that I’ve become complacent in his obedience work. Can I consider him “done,” like a cake? Finished, like there’s no more training to do?

As far as obedience, anyway, there’s nothing much to do here. Wipe my hands. Move on.

Maybe…

But it wouldn’t do either one of us any good (and it might do him some long-term harm).

I recently encountered this statement in a Facebook group that went something like: “Well, my dog’s trained, so we don’t really work on XYZ. No point.”

So, is your dog ever “trained”?

When I work with Cooper, I think of his “training” in two buckets: obedience, the stuff mentioned above that he’s mastered, and behavior, the stuff that’s harder to quantify like being scared of new objects or barking out the living room window because the wind blew the leaves in the tree funny.

The obedience stuff is important, especially in the early days of a new pup. It’s the house training, the basic manners, the useful parts of being a member of a family. There comes a time, though, when a dog has learned pretty much everything they need to… Anything else, like tricks or dog games or even sports like agility, well, that’s just icing on this cake.

Or is it?

The behavior stuff, on the other hand, has to be ongoing if you love a dog who’s anything but a happy goober. You know the kind of dog I’m talking about… No dog I’ve ever cared for has been a happy goober. 🙂 (Well, maybe Molly…)

This is the forever training, the ongoing stuff. The reinforcement and the conditioning. This is the training where one day you discover that your quirky pup is afraid of the new bird feeder you hung in your backyard, so you work on that. This is the training where you try to catch your dog every single time he, say, sees a person on a motorcycle while riding in the car by tossing treats from the bag you keep in your glove compartment.

This type of training, in my opinion, is never “done.” Unless, of course, you’re the person of a goober dog!

That said, I’ve discovered that the obedience training conditions Cooper to learn. If we’re working on a behavior issue, or if I’m simply trying to build up his confidence so that he can go to a new park without shaking like a little leaf (we’re not there yet), obedience training does the trick.

He gets into “work” mode.

He starts to focus.

His mindset shifts from “AHHHHHHOMG!!!!” to “hey, I know what to do!”

We had a great session recently when we went to the playground. We traded off pushing Violet on the little baby swing and having Cooper “work” on basic cues. On the other side of the playground, a small family played on the climbing rocks, and on the soccer fields behind us, a bunch of guys were playing a pick-up game. It was a super distracting environment, though it was a park he’s very comfortable with. And he nailed it. Of course, we thankfully didn’t see any other dogs–this would probably be a different story!–but it’s progress.

Cooper is a good dog. At home, or at my parents’ house, he’s nearly perfect.

But he’s nowhere near “trained” and we’re certainly not done training.

Even when he’s reached a happy old age, games and toys and trying new things–all pieces of “dog training”–will be part of his daily routine because it keeps his mind fit, just like research shows daily mental activity like completing sudoku or crossword puzzles helps stave off Alzheimer’s.

And so, my long, meandering post comes to an end with my conclusion being, of course, that a dog might know a lot of stuff, but training can keep him mentally engaged and mentally fit to help his aging process go smoother and to stave off boredom. He might know all his obedience cues, and we’re not working to turn him into an obedient little automaton, but training is a big, important piece to his overall wellness.

Currently, of course, we’re working on his mat work… and making great strides!

How about you and your pup? What do you think? Do you consider your dog “trained” or your training “done”? How do you work to keep your dog mentally fit and engaged? Leave a comment below, and let’s trade training notes!

Where do you find the time to train your dog?

03•11•17

Right now:

It’s 7:52 on a Saturday night.

I’m in my cozies snuggled under the covers with Cooper.

Laptop balanced on my knees. Beer on the side table.

And I am wiped.

But, this is the first chance I’ve had all week to write about time management for dog training–the theme of this past week’s blog hop, which closes tomorrow, so I’m scooting in at the very last second. Ironic, I know.

Anyway, we’ve been busy. Who isn’t, though, right? There’s always more to do and no more time in which to do it.

OK, now it’s 8:05 on Saturday night because I totally got sidetracked watching that video circulating on FB with the little girl getting the kitten?! OMG… So, so, so sweet!

But that right there is exactly my issue. Like most of you, by the time evening rolls around, it’s already been a long day of work, errands, cooking dinner, cleaning up the house, feeding and exercising the herd… where’s the time to train?? It could totally be tonight, but I’m super tired, so instead of taking Cooper outside or upstairs to work, we snuggle under the covers.

I know I’m not alone in this. Between the have-to-dos and the want-to-dos, there’s just never enough time.

So, I have two tips to share with you today if you’re in that same boat.

Here’s the trick in our house that works the very best at getting dog training into an already-way-too-full schedule:

Make training part of your everyday routine.

Seriously, it’s that simple. We train with Cooper all. the. time. (BTW, you’ll note I refer to Cooper in this post and not Emmett. Well, there’s no more Emmett training. It’s now just letting Emmett have/do/eat/sleep/whatever he wants, when he wants it. The end. Newt, on the other hand, stay tuned for a Caturday post sometime this month on that…)

First up, I will say, Cooper has his basics down. I’m not talking about teaching general “obedience” here, which I do think takes a concerted effort in focused blocks of time. What I’m talking about is the ongoing stuff, the stuff to challenge him beyond a basic sit/down/stay.

For example, Cooper has to shut the kitchen cabinet every single time we feed the dogs. (Check it out on Instagram…)

That’s great, but it becomes routine super fast. So, when I’m emptying the dishwasher or putting groceries away, Cooper tends to hang by my side, so I have him shut the cabinets and even push the drawers shut. He’s a PRO at it, and he gets excited to do it. He wags his tail to close cabinets! We keep treats in jars on the counter, so as he does his work, I say, “YES!” then give him a treat.

Same thing with his mat. He’s solid with “on your mat,” so I use it for all sorts of things that push him beyond just placing on his mat. If FedEx drops a package at the door, I’ll send him to his mat and ask for a stay. Walking to the door, opening it, grabbing the package… all while he’s holding the stay on his mat… is hugely challenging. I need to retrieve the package anyway, so adding in that bit of training takes hardly any extra time.

When we throw his ball while we watch TV or something, we’ll do different challenges. I’ll ask him to sit and wait, throw the ball, then release him to chase it down after a few seconds. Sometimes I’ll even ask for a “watch me” while he’s holding his wait.

Right now, I’m working on handing him something, like the mail, and having him, “Take it to John!” (We’re not great at this yet, so there are many a teeth mark in our bills right now!)

All of this is training–largely, for Cooper, training on impulse control–keeps his brain active, but it doesn’t take any extra time out of the day because it’s all part of the day.

OK, I mentioned two tips at the beginning, and here’s the second:

Make training part of your everyday routine.

Huh? That’s the same, right? Well, sure, but I want to emphasize that it’s not just running through the typical stuff that your dog has down pat. It’s the other stuff, too, the new and exciting things or the just-for-fun training.

Here’s an example: You put a pot of water on your stove to boil spaghetti for dinner. While you’re waiting for the bubbles, grab your clicker and a couple treats, and start working on something new. That’s dead time anyways, time most of us spend scrolling mindlessly through Facebook (though, seriously, that kitten video?! OMG…)

Or you have to call your internet provider about an outage. Well, that’s several minutes of your life on hold that you’ll never get back, but make the absolute best of it by teaching your dog a quick-and-easy trick, like luring him to twirl in a circle or something like that.

These little blocks of “found time” can be super fun and rewarding for you and your dog!

I think a lot of folks fall into the trap of feeling like training needs to be a formalized block of focused time. More like Training than, you know, training. You can accomplish a ton in tiny increments, and it keeps it fun and frustration-free.

All that said, there is tremendous value in signing up for a class, or joining a group sport like agility, or having a science-based trainer out to your house to work on specific problem areas. But don’t let the lack of time to do those things now keep you from training at all!

All you need is a few minutes, a clicker (or “yes!”), and some yummy treats, and you’ll find that you have plenty of time for dog training when it becomes part of your everyday routine!

As for the rest of my time, like the writing blog posts time, well… that’s still a work in progress.

Your turn: How do YOU find time to work with your dog? I’d love to know what tricks and tips you have up your sleeve!

My Dog-Training Mentor and Inspiration

01•12•17

When I saw the theme for this month’s positive reinforcement pet training hop–my training mentor or inspiration–my first thought went to trainers whose work I devour: Patricia McConnell, of course. Victoria Stilwell. Debbie Jacobs. Et cetera.

But I wouldn’t know about any of those amazing women without their critical predecessor.

When I started to really think it through, it hit me that my one-and-only dog-training mentor and inspiration, the one who pushed me into the world of positive reinforcement and canine cognition and group training classes and desensitization and counter-conditioning… all of it… could only be Lucas.

It had to be him.

See, when we adopted Emmett in 2006, we thought we knew what we were doing. My bestie taught dog training classes, and we enrolled in her group class the day after we brought Emmett home from the shelter. He did great in class. He did great at home. He did great at the park and at parties and out shopping.

This is so easy, we thought. Let’s adopt another.

Enter Lucas.

All of a sudden–before we even left the parking lot of the animal shelter, actually, when we discovered that he was so afraid of cars that he would. not. get. in. to go home… and what the heck do you do in a busy parking lot with dogs everywhere and you have the dog who you’ve known for 30 minutes who has turned himself into a Tasmanian devil to keep from getting into the backseat of the car? what. do. you. do.–we understood that we knew nothing about dog behavior.

Sure, we could teach tricks and manners and such.

But nothing that resembled teaching behavior.

The agony of those first few months… he didn’t want to be patted. He didn’t wag his tail. He didn’t play with Emmett. He didn’t snuggle. What he did want? He did want to throttle every single dog he saw, and we saw a lot because we lived in a dog-friendly condo building next to a dog-filled park in DC. He did want to chew our chairs to toothpicks. He did want to have total melt-down panic-attacks daily.

Once we tried to list all the things he was scared of, but it was an impossible feat. Let’s just say he was scared of the TV being on and of plastic bags, along with everything else you can think of.

Oh, and we had this crazy accident in which giant Lucas got so scared on a walk he took off like a shot, but I had the leash gripped so tightly that he flung me into a No Parking sign and into the road. My face and arms were crazy bruised, and I had my 30-day review at my new job that week.

What scared him?

Our neighbor drove past and said, “Hi, guys!” out his car window.

There were tears. Lots of tears.

But there was also this gleam in his eye. Like, we could see him in there. And he and Emmett were slowly becoming the very best buds. Once they started to play, they never, ever stopped. They began to cuddle together on a dog bed. Then he began to cuddle with us and wag and play with us and with toys. He was in there.

Then we’d open our front door, and he’d retreat.

We met with several trainers who gave him a label: aggressive. Thank goodness we kept seeking other answers because we knew he was just flipping terrified.

That was our foundation.

We knew him. We knew he was in there. We knew just how fun-loving and playful he was. It was just hard for him to access that part of himself because the defenses he built were so thick and so high and so dense that it took monumental effort to dismantle them.

Those efforts kicked off the positive reinforcement journey.

And oh, how it changed all our lives. By the time we lost Lucas in 2015, he was himself. He was that fun-loving guy that was in there hidden by fear because the fear (well, most of it) was gone.

He LOVED doggy daycare! I mean, who knew?! That first year, that second year, if you had told either John or I that Lucas would be enrolling in cage-free daycare and boarding there, we would have split our sides laughing so hard.

But he did, and he loved it to pieces.

At a reactive dog group class Lucas and I took, one of the our classmates turned to me at one point and said, “Are you really sure he’s reactive?”

Highest praise I’ve ever received.

But the thing is, I was taking that class with him seven years after we had adopted him. He was never “fixed” or whatever. We learned his triggers and how to manage them, but we worked at it. Constantly. And had backslides.

He was so fun. Such a big, fluffy ball of love, filled with light and laughter. He loved hanging out with people and wrestling with dogs.

He still had his fears, and they’d crop up sometimes unexpectedly. But, at the end of the day, I learned so much from him, my training mentor and inspiration, about patience and about perseverance. I learned how resilient a dog can be and how the best things in life take the hardest work.

He was my teacher and carried a little piece of my soul with him. I’m grateful for all the lessons he taught me, and I sure wish he were still around to guide me.

I could sure use some help with Cooper. 🙂