Oh My Dog!

Hello, friends.

How are you? You hanging in there?

I don’t think I need to waste words or time talking about how different the world is today from even one week ago. You know. I know. It is what it is.

But, I wanted to check in because I’m thinking of you. I wake up in the middle of the night (is anyone else having trouble sleeping?) and think about how it feels like we live in a strange movie now, how 24 hours extend for three days, how you and your families are faring.

We know this will get worse–probably much worse–before it gets better.

So, give yourself grace. Give your pets grace.

Aside: Holy moly. Quarantine sure brings out my neighbors! Everyone is walking, bike riding, running, and so on with their dogs. Not so awesome for reactive dogs like Coop, who goes bananas all day long.

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Unless it feels right to you, ignore all the internet advice to use this time to write a book, learn a language, declutter your entire home, homeschool your children at least a grade level ahead. Why add pressure on top of the real-life dread of living through a pandemic?

Here’s what I’m doing:

• Playing with Cooper in the backyard a lot! We’re also dipping in and out of this book for some fun ideas and activities.
• Waking up early. I’m writing this at 6 am with Cooper snuggled on one side of my legs and Ripley on the other. I’m an introvert. I need time to myself each day. That time does not exist at home with John, Violet, and Astrid. From about 7 am to 8 pm, someone needs me. I’m getting up early to drink coffee in peace, to write, to putter around the internet without having to make someone a snack or clean something up or figure out a next activity. This morning time is mine.
• Flossing my teeth. It sounds small. It is small. But it’s one tiny, achievable daily promise to myself that creates a sense of normalcy and routine. Flossing my teeth grounds me in the reality that this strange time will eventually pass.

One other thing I started that, you guys, I regret but I also know it had to happen and no time better than when we literally can’t leave the house:

Potty training Violet.

In hindsight, during a toilet paper and bleach shortage, it may not have been the world’s smartest idea, but here we are.

All that said, I’m thinking of you. We are all–everyone across the globe–we are all in this together. We will get through it together. In tense, frustrating, exhausting moments, I keep repeating to myself: choose love, choose patience, choose kindness.

A lot of hard lessons will be learned, I think, but we’ll come out the other side hopefully with more compassion and kindness for fellow people and pets.

Take care of yourself.

Take care of your family.

Hang in there, friends.

I remember letting Emmett, Lucas, and Cooper out of the house, through the garage, and into the Houma backyard, and the instant I pushed the outer door open, Lucas shot off at an angle.

I tore after him–Lucas dashing off was never a good thing–and took a second to take in the picture. An opossum was scrabbling along the top of our fence, slipping and scratching and hissing, with Lucas on his back feet leaping at the terrified animal.

I remember in the corner of that backyard stood a tree that grew into the fence. The tree twined around the fence and the fence embedded into a piece of the trunk. We scratched our heads over that when we first moved in because why wouldn’t the owners have trained the tree in the opposite direction? But, they didn’t, and the result was a natural foothold.

I remember the flash of white hot panic when I saw Lucas plant his back feet into that foothold, preparing to launch his entire body up and over the fence after the retreating opossum. I remember the tension in his muscles as I grabbed his back thighs and pulled as hard as I possibly could. It turned into a tug-of-war: He got his paws on top of the fence and pulled with all he had, while I grabbed his legs and pulled with all I had. Thankfully his angle was so awkward and his purchase on the tree was so weak that I won. We tumbled backwards into the yard.

I remember being pissed. Furious. Clearly, fury served no purpose, and it was my fear response kicking in, but I was just. so. mad. at him. “Lucas! You idiot!”

I remember, later that night, cuddling him on my lap and apologizing. I explained to him that I worried about him: if he got lost or hit by a car or encountered another dog or or or or.

“Lucas, I’m sorry. I love you.”

I remember the girl with the Collie. Her name was CeCe. The Collie, not the girl. I don’t know the girl’s name.

I remember the feeling in my gut when I saw them walking. She, the girl, let CeCe roam to the full extent of her flexible leash. Then, CeCe huffed and stared straight into the eyes of passing dogs. She didn’t move at all. Just stood stock still and stared. The rudest of rude behaviors, of course, but CeCe’s person stood there completely oblivious. Lucas would go bananas.

I remember one time, they surprised us. I tried to avoid them at all costs, but one day they came around a corner and took us off guard. Lucas. went. INSANE. His snarliest of launching, pulling, scrabbling, clawing, growling behavior, and he pulled me right to the curb, almost into the street. Meanwhile, CeCe inched forward on her flexible leash and into the actual road. Into the street. And her person? Was literally texting.

I remember trying to pull Lucas as hard as I possibly could to just get away, but he was lunging with his full 80 pounds in the opposite way, and it was a battle.

I remember this concerned woman pulling her car up and yelling, “Do you need help?” And I yelled back, “I just need that person to KEEP WALKING.” She, CeCe’s person, snapped her head up. She looked shocked. Then she glared at me and started walking… in the direction I was headed. Thankfully the car woman waited until CeCe passed us by, and we walked the other way. Lucas got a longer walk to circle around back home, and my heart got an additional jolt of adrenaline.

I remember our neighbor, Hugh. An extremely tall, extremely thin man who lived down the hall from us in our DC condo. He owned a tiny little dog who Lucas didn’t care for but not to the extent of, say, CeCe. But Hugh didn’t quite understand our situation.

I remember him leaning forward and rubbing Lucas’ forehead. “Here, Lucas,” he’d coo. “Let’s get those wrinkles out of your face and then you could calm down.” We were baffled by the thought that if Lukey’s face didn’t have those wrinkle lines he’d feel better, but Hugh was so sure of it. Of course, I remember he also sprayed his dog with expensive perfume. So?

I remember the first dream Lucas appeared in after he passed away. In the dream, he ran far ahead of me along a cliff. He clearly enjoyed the freedom run, something he didn’t get to do often enough in life. His ears flew behind him and his tongue flapped in the wind.

I remember the sudden realization that the cliff dropped off into a vast body of water. In life, Lucas could. not. swim. Some say all dogs can swim. Lucas truly could not. I remember the feeling of panic I felt. He’s going to run off the edge. He’ll fall in the water. He can’t swim!

I remember that dream curse of trying to yell, trying so hard to call out, to shout his name, to stop him. I couldn’t speak. Nothing came out. But, in the dream, I somehow heard his thoughts. Don’t worry. I can fly.

Off the edge of the cliff he went. He plummeted toward the water and at the final second… he flew. His body lifted up and he soared.

I watched him fly away, right over that water he couldn’t swim in. I watched until he was almost gone, and when I woke up, I felt an enormous sense of peace.

He was gone, yes, and he just said goodbye.

Grief is a funny thing.

We’re almost to the three-year anniversary of Emmett’s passing, but all I can think about is Lucas. Not even Emmett stories that feature Lucas. Just Lucas.

I don’t know. Grief is a funny thing.

Well, not a thing. Or a person. Or a pet.

Grief is a place. It’s a big, cavernous place with lots of rooms and spaces. Some are peaceful and calm. Others are dark and desperate.

I must be walking through the Lucas Wing right now, because his stories keep floating to the surface.

Once you lose someone who matters, you move into this place, and the thing no one ever tells you, the thing no one ever talks about, is that you live there for the rest of your life. The loss never leaves you, so you can’t leave the place.

Some spaces are calm. Peaceful. Distracted. Busy. Full of love and hope and joy and meaning.

Then you pass a hallway and enter a different place, a hopeless place, a deep place with more darkness than light.

But, you keep going, and eventually you come back into the light. And this lasts forever. And no one ever, ever tells you that.

If you’re grieving, no matter which space you’re in, there will always be more light. Yes, more dark, too, but always, always more light.

My light? Right now?

You might think I’m crazy, but Lucas messes with his artwork in our home. We have two portraits of him, one of which always falls crooked. The other? Well, just a couple days ago we noticed a huge slobber mark across it that we can’t explain. So, he’s here. I’m here.

This must be the place.

Photo by Allie Smith on Unsplash

Recently someone suggested I lower the bar around here. It was kind advice and resulted from a comment I made about feeling overwhelmed of late. This person, though, had never been inside my house, so all I could think was:

If I lowered this bar any further, we’d all be eating out of a trough. All of us. Parents, kids, and pets.

You don’t have to have it all together!

Hello, friends! And welcome to another soapbox moment. 🙂

Let me start by saying: I’m deeply grateful social media wasn’t around when I was in school or when I started my first job out of college. My every move was not documented, “liked” (or… not liked…), commented upon, shared, or judged in any way. I lived my life, made my mistakes, and never thought about my look being “on brand.” I didn’t even have a look, unless you count jeans and a T-shirt.

The world has changed.

I love social media. Well, not Facebook. I struggle with Facebook. Another topic for another day. 🙂 I love Instagram and Pinterest and YouTube. There’s so much value to those platforms and to connecting with others who share similar passions. And, there’s so much information. Right now we’re dealing with some medical stuff with Astrid, and I’ve found a wealth of info on Instagram and YouTube. And I might just come around on Facebook because of different groups and things.

It’s just, until I connected on all these platforms, I never in my life realized how women consider themselves Type A! There are Type A dog moms, kid moms, cat moms, wives, employees, entrepreneurs, side hustlers… the list goes on. Scroll social–particularly Instagram–and you’ll see such a strong aesthetic and a carefully-curated view of these incredibly put-together women.

How on earth do they do it?

What is “Type A” anyway?

Wikipedia describes this personality type as “… outgoing, ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving ‘workaholics’.”

Currently, a subset on Instagram and YouTube wears “Type A dog/kid/cat mom” as a badge of honor.

If that’s you, and it makes you happy, get it, sis!

I felt a little sad, though, when researching dog mom and kid mom hashtags for another project and all the recommendations for tags similar to #TypeADogMom were #overwhelm and #anxiety and #sotired.

I worry about the compare-a-thon created by all this content. Because, truly, you’re doing great, even if your version of great is imperfect. Actually, probably because your version is imperfect… perfection is too dang stressful.

Cut yourself some slack!

Says the lady who’s constantly self-critical… 🙂

The flip side of Type A seems to be #hotmessexpress. These are the posts with dog hair everywhere or muddy floors or hair in a bun with drool-stained yoga pants. *raises hand*

Either you have it all together and your dog is groomed and there’s no fur in your butter dish and your hair is curled and your lashes are done and you and your dog wear coordinated outfits… OR… you’re a mess?

Does it have to be either / or?

Nope, nope, nope.

I read this comment on an Instagram post this morning: “So many of us here pretend to have it all together online when in reality we are just trying to keep it together in real life.”

Oof.

That comment was left on a post by a dog mama who wrote about feeling tired and lost and overwhelmed, yet she’s one who keeps her pup’s barrette collection organized by size and color. She’s also a self-professed Type A and a mom of human kids and a hard-working, successful blogger. In other words, someone who seems to have it all together!

I’m certainly not implying that everyone who seems to have it together or everyone who considers themselves Type A is secretly a mess underneath. Not at all.

I do think that everyone, no matter their personality type or tolerance for pet hair in strange places, everyone struggles with vulnerability, and we all default to our most comfy hiding spot. For some, that’s having every little detail perfectly cleaned and organized. For others, it’s chocolate. Or whatever.

What if you’re not Type A OR a hot mess?

via GIPHY

Whoever you are, you are doing great.

If you love matching your pup’s collar to your handbag, do you!

If you’re lucky to have brushed your own hair and can’t remember your dog’s last bath (my hand is waving here), no shame!

Your dog bowls coordinate with your throw pillows? That’s so cool! Your dog stuff mish-mashes with all your second-hand furniture? Go you!

Wherever you fall on that spectrum, keep it up!

If you’re trying, you’re killing it. Do your best as a dog mom, partner, friend, employee, entrepreneur, all the different things you are… but then take time to do your best for YOU. Take breaks. Heck, give yourself a break. Avoid the compare-a-thon trap of social media and hug your pup. How lucky are we to get to share our lives with dogs?!?! Don’t lose sight of that in the quest to live a perfect life, to be a perfect dog mom, to post the perfect Instagram.

I am not perfect. I’m not a #TypeADogMom. I’m not a Type A anything!

I am the #WorldsOkayestDogMom.

I’m mostly okay at most things… and that seems to get me through just fine.

(Thanks to my friend Jodi at the amazing site Kol’s Notes for helping me come up with that hashtag!)

Where do you fall on the spectrum? Total perfectionist? Just okay? Somewhere else entirely? I’d love to know!! And please feel free to use the hashtag #WorldsOkayestDogMom on social to share your true story! Like that thread I mentioned reading, I just hope no one feels like they have to hide their reality to present perfection. Do you, and we’ll all be there for it!

At the beginning of 2020, instead of setting a bunch of goals, I decided instead to focus on three main priorities and one single word to guide my year.

That word?

Ease.

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Ironically…

Nothing yet this year has been easy. In fact, some stuff has been really effing hard. And it’s only February 3. Of course, with an almost-three-month-old baby and a toddler going through sleep regression, there’s not actually much sleeping going on around here.

No sleep makes everything hard.

These short days magnify exhaustion, too, so some tough stuff piled on top of being super tired has been, well, less-than-easy.

So, when you find something that helps, that alleviates some of the exhaustion or the burden–whether it’s a physical or mental alleviation–celebrate it! For the past couple years, I posted here in response to a prompt from my favorite book blogger, Modern Mrs. Darcy. Her post this year went up today, so, without additional preamble, here’s what’s saving my life right now!

Deliveries

OK, I’m about to get super real here: If I could never step foot inside a store for the rest of my life, I’d be thrilled. (Please, please tell me there are other shopping-haters out there?!? Let me know in the comments because I sometimes feel like I’m alone in this… I mean, have you seen the “haul” videos on YouTube?!?)

While it’s not possible to not shop, I’ve relied heavily on deliveries lately. With a newborn who was born prematurely during flu and RSV season, I minimize trips out. Plus, it’s important to me to spend my money in a way that reflects our values, so for instance, I’ve been getting tree-free toilet paper, paper towels, and tissues delivered from Who Gives a Crap? <— that link should get you $10 off to try. I also get our plastic-free laundry detergent delivered from Dropps. When Coop’s on The Farmer’s Dog (we rotate and he’s been off it for a while) it comes automatically. <— that link should get you 50% off a trial box. We also get our grass seed cat litter delivered from Only Natural Pet, but here’s the one tribulation with deliveries: It’s been sold out on and off over the last year, so we’ve missed the shipment a couple times. Ugh. Otherwise, getting these regular, fast-consuming items delivered saves me from having to think of them and from having to take a newborn and a toddler out to the grocery, especially in bad weather.

My Public Library

On most Saturdays, you’ll find me tucked into a carrel typing away. John never works Saturdays, so it’s my one chance to sneak off and get in a full day’s worth of work. I value that time immensely. It’s quiet. It’s productive. I can get a large coffee and drink the whole thing hot. Also, I eat lunch in the little library cafe and use that time to read my book in peace. Frankly, though, I’ve been working through Ducks, Newburyport since the start of the year. It’s good. Really good. I don’t normally love experiment fiction, but this works for me. BUT at over 1,000 pages, order the Kindle version or check out the digital version from your library because my arms ache from hefting that thing around! (IF you decide to tackle this novel, give the narrator a good 50-75 pages. It takes that long for her voice to sink in, but once it does you won’t be able to get it out of your head.)

Mild Weather

I don’t mean this one, not really, because this crazy “winter” weather doesn’t bode well for us or for our planet’s future… It’s not supposed to be in the 60s in Indiana in January. However, it’s saving me right now.

Violet attends preschool two days a week, and dragging her and her coat and hat and mittens and boots, plus Astrid in her bucket seat, well, it’s a lot. I’m thankful that the winter has been mild (so far), though I sure wish I could take better advantage to hit the trails with Coop! John, though, has been running Cooper almost every morning before he leaves for work, which is saving me, too, because Coop is nice and exercise and calmer!

Yoga With Adriene

If you’re not among the six million or so people subscribed to this YouTube channel, you gotta! In all seriousness, if you need an at-home workout that’s usually under 30 minutes, she’s the best. I did her 30-day challenge in January and looked forward to the video every day. She’s relateable, hilarious, helpful, and she has the cutest dog, Benji, who’s in almost every video. In fact, there was a video recently that didn’t have him lounging by her mat, and Violet looked up at the TV and said, “Hey! Where’s her doggie?” (I’m thinking about getting V this dinosaur mat because she LOVES doing yoga with me, and it’s just so cute!!)

Instagram

Last year, I took a giant step back from Facebook. I just couldn’t take it. I’m going to be using it more in the coming year for a couple groups I joined, but my favorite place to hang out online is Instagram. I follow some really enjoyable accounts, and I like the time I spend on there. Instagram doesn’t have the same icky factor that Facebook has to me. Do you feel similarly?Let’s connect! You can find me here.

There’s more

Wool socks, good books, family movie night, friends who understand–but those five came to mind immediately as helping me through this season.

How about you? What’s saving YOUR life right now?

Emmett changed my life.

If you’ve been around this community for any length of time, you already know that, but it bears repeating: A dog can change your life if you’re open to the possibility.

He started me on this journey, and without Emmett, this space wouldn’t exist. These words wouldn’t exist. That’s pretty amazing.

I think it’s vital to look backwards to move forwards, so each year I’ve participated in the annual pet blogger’s challenge, which this year morphed into this, Pet Bloggers Journey. If you’d like to participate, you’ll find all the info in this post from our friend Colby at puppyintraining.com who graciously hosted this year’s blog hop.

I’ll circle back around to Em in a bit, but without further preamble, here are my answers to this year’s questions with an emphasis on where this site is headed.

Pet Bloggers Journey 2020

1. When did you begin your blog? And, for anyone stopping by for the first time, please give us a quick description of what your blog is about.
   I started 10 years ago. A little more than 10, actually. That’s really hard to believe, to be honest. Where does the time go? My tagline sums up my blog content: obsessed with dogs. Since its inception, though, I’ll note that I’ve lost the two original dogs who helped me launch this space–Emmett and Lucas–and added two cats and two kids to the crew, so the content does often feature cats… and the occasional kid appearance. We’re still obsessed with dogs, but I think there’s been a natural evolution over the last decade–which I look at as a good thing, because if you don’t change in 10 years, you’re doing something wrong!
2. Name one thing about your blog, or one blogging goal that you accomplished during 2019, that made you most proud.
   Tying into the evolution I mentioned above, becoming more involved in the Cat Writers’ Association and writing posts that I hope help multi-species households coexist peacefully. The icing on the cake was that I actually won the Fear Free award at the annual CWA meeting for a post that checked those peaceful, happy pets boxes!
   (And though it’s not directly related to this space, I have to add: I am SO PROUD that Carol Bryant and I released our book in 2019, Pet Blogging for Love and Money!!)
3. Which of your 2019 blog posts was your favorite and why? (Please include a link.)
   I wrote less in 2019 than ever before–between 1 and 4 posts per month–because of a million life interruptions, but I think the post I’m most proud of was the first one I wrote in 2019 about removing barriers to pet adoption. You can find it here. It’s a topic that’s so close to my heart and one I feel is extremely misunderstood. Oddly, it got a ton of support on the blog and on Instagram but a TON of anger on Facebook. ::insert shrug emoji here:: I’m also super pumped because this post is up for an award at the upcoming Dog Writers Association of America banquet, so fingers crossed!
4. What was the biggest blogging challenge you faced in 2019, and how did you tackle it?
   This was a challenging year. I ended up with a bunch of injuries–a pinched nerve in my lower back in February, a sprained ankle (both SO HARD with a 2-year-old) in April immediately after recovering from the back thing, a perforated appendix in August/September that landed me in the hospital, etc.–and ended the year with the sudden and wonderful birth of baby Astrid (who I realize I never formally introduced here, so stay tuned) and a 9-day stint in the NICU in November. My biggest challenge in 2019 was just taking one step forward day after day. I didn’t skip any months altogether, but during the most difficult months–when I was in the hospital for my appendix and then when I was in the hospital with Astrid–I only managed one post. While there were moments throughout the year when I was frustrated (I am a truly TERRIBLE injured/sick person because I refuse to ever believe there’s anything wrong with me and John has to wrestle me to take basic care of myself… and I know this, but I can’t do anything about it… he could tell you some stories, that’s for sure), so while I occasionally felt frustrated, none of it was in my control. All that said, my biggest blogging challenge in 2019 was time, but I did the best I could, so I’m totally OK with that.
5. One goal that we all seem to share is we want to reach more people. What is your #1 tip for bringing more traffic to your blog?
   Write well. I say this over and over and over again. I’d shout it from the rooftops if given the opportunity. Write well. That’s it. Be helpful, tell good stories, be clear, proofread. Every single SEO strategy or social media tactic or ideal posting time on Facebook or blah blah blah will only help you so much. Then, the landscape changes, and if you’re reliant upon those tips and tricks to get you traffic, well, you’re constantly having to change gears. Focus on the work. Focus on the writing (or photography if that’s your thing). Write well. Seriously. And, btw, if you want some technical info to back that up, here’s the thing: Google’s AI is becoming soooo smart. No longer do we need to think about exact keywords because “search intent” is here and it’s real. If you write well, the people who are looking for the information you’re sharing will find it because Google is starting to really understand, first, what people are really looking for and, second, what you’re really saying in your work. Write well.
6. Do you do sponsored posts/reviews? If so, what do you find works best and how do you determine what to charge for a blog post, social media shares, etc.? If not, is this something you’d like to do more of? What hurdle is getting in your way?
   I do some but not many. It has to be a perfect match for me and my family in order for me to justify writing about it. I’m not going to promote something just for the sake of money. That said, I do utilize affiliate links for anything I mention because why not? As for pricing, I think the smartest move is to never, ever, ever just quote a price. Don’t post one of your site or media kit either. Instead, I rely on a conversation with the brand that goes something like this: “What are your goals and your budget for this project? I’d like to put together a proposal tailored to meet your needs.” That way, I know what they expect to spend and can offer something that I think is a fair exchange.
7. Looking forward to 2020, if you accomplish only one thing through your blog, what do you hope it is?
   This year I’m writing another book. However, it’s not a business book like Pet Blogging. Instead, it’s narrative nonfiction, my sweet spot, bringing together the stories I’ve told here and those that I haven’t around a central theme: Dogs teach us what it means to be human. And the whole thing starts with Emmett. I’ve written about 15,000 words already (aiming for around 75k) that are super rough and not quite fully following that thread yet, but I’m on my way. This ties into the blog because I plan to work out/work on some of the material through posts woven throughout the year. I feel like comments and feedback will help me refine my work (or, you know, send me into a spiral of panic and self-doubt, but #writinglife).
8. What steps are you planning to take to ensure you reach your goal?
   I set a goal of writing 300 words per day until I hit the 75k. I’ve missed a few days, but I’ve also written more on many of the days. I think it’ll balance out, but by stating it here, you all can keep me accountable! If I’m puttering on Instagram, feel free to call me out: “Did you write your words today?!?!” 🙂
9. The blogging landscape is constantly changing. What changes in blogging do you see coming in 2020 and beyond? What plans do you have to evolve?
   I think readers expect more from blogs than ever before. Blogs need to be useful, to answer questions, to entertain. For bloggers who want to tell stories and keep things light, that’s awesome! I hope they feel empowered to do so! However, from the perspective of everyone’s two audiences–Google and people–blogs that want to operate like a business need to focus on providing valuable, high-quality content to stay relevant and profitable. For me, I’m striving to write detailed posts that answer questions I get a lot (examples: golden paste, teach your dog to come, veggies for dogs) with a mix of lighter posts that hopefully spark a conversation (examples: what I wish you knew about my reactive dog, the five love languages of dogs).
10. If you could ask the pet blogging community for help with one challenge you’re having with your blog, what would it be?
    I’m burnt out on social media. Just plain fried. I’m spending, according to the app, a max of six minutes per day on Facebook, and that still feels like too much to me! 🙂 In all seriousness, this year I decided to invest in CoSchedule (that’s an affiliate link) so that I could post more consistently on social without having to spend a big amount of time on the platforms. I don’t think it’s going to serve me super well with Pinterest, but I had a year-long subscription to Tailwind and never really felt like I got my money’s worth. All that said: How do YOU manage your social media? How much time to do you spend on each channel, and–most importantly–is there a return on that time investment??

Welp. Once again I just about hit 2000 words on this post, so if you made it this far, you deserve a medal. I’m so grateful to Colby for picking up this challenge, and I’m SO GLAD he called it a “journey” because that’s exactly what this is… a long and winding road.

I can’t wait to read everyone else’s responses. If you’re a blogger and want to participate, or if you want to compare notes, check out the Linky below. Thanks, friends, for sticking with me for all these years. I am deeply grateful for you, your pets, and your time that you share in this space.