Oh My Dog!

obsessed with dogs

Dogs and Toddlers: A realistic (and honest) guide to keeping them safe from each other

Let’s be real: Toddlers can behave like real jerks sometimes. That does not mean toddlers are jerks. They are so new here still with only one to three years under their belts.

I’m not one to sugarcoat the reality of raising a toddler. It’s hard. It’s really, really hard. And they change dramatically from day to day, acquiring new skills and learning new things, that once you feel like you’re getting a handle on something, suddenly your two-year-old is tall enough and strong enough to open your kitchen drawer and is wandering through the house with a hammer in one hand and a tub of glue in the other.

Toddlers are noisy. They’re messy. They’re hyper-mobile but not yet coordinated. They’re unpredictable. They experience extreme emotions that often include extreme outbursts–of joy, sure, but also pain and frustration and anger and sadness.

I could go on, but you get the point. Toddlers are hard.

(They’re also lovely in a million ways. Watching them discover and innovate with language and their imaginations… priceless.)

Those things that make toddlers who they are also make them inherently unreliable around dogs.

When it comes to kids and dogs, the focus should always be on safety. That’s it. That’s the whole of it. Safety for the kids, safety for the dogs. Dog bites are almost always preventable (read TONS more about dog bite prevention here), but I also want to emphasize that avoiding bites isn’t the be-all-end-all of kid + pet interactions. It’s what gets the most attention, sure, because it has the most devastating consequences, but:

You do not want your kids and your dog living in fear of each other.

Whether there’s a bite risk or not (and there’s always a small bite risk), you want your kids and your pets to coexist happily. You want everyone to feel safe and comfortable around each other. So, let’s dig into how to achieve that when you have dogs and toddlers and just want everyone to get along.

Dogs and toddlers: How to keep them safe and happy together

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Teach your kid to interact appropriately with all dogs, not just your dog.

This is where it all starts.

Don’t be that parent who lets their kid trip and stumble and flail and wave at a random dog. “Oh, she just loves dogs,” is never a reason for bad behavior.

Start when they’re babies (I have gobs of ideas and resources in this post about dogs and babies getting along) and teach them they’re not allowed to approach or touch a dog without checking with you first–and you, in turn, check with the dog’s owner first. Show them what is and isn’t okay when petting a dog. Demonstrate how to be gentle, how not to pull or grab, how to always approach from the side. Kids soak up our behavior and imitate it; make sure YOU behave appropriately around dogs.

With your own dog, make sure your little one is clear on boundaries: leave the dogs alone at meal times, for instance, or never go into the dog’s crate, or whatever fits with your family and how your dog is trained. Involve your kid in your dog’s care (more on that in a minute) but be clear that it can only happen when you are present.

Give your dog space to flee.

Your pets should never feel forced to interact with your kid. Ever. Give them the ability to excuse themselves from a situation. We use baby gates for that. (Plus, we want the cats to be able to come and go as they please, so we use gates like this to ensure all species are happy and safe.)

You, as the adult, need to monitor your pet, too. Cooper is a perfect example of dog who is so desperate to hang out with me at all times, he would choose to be uncomfortable to stick by my side. When Violet is playing with toys that scare him like her fire truck or if the baby is screaming or whatever, I’ll simply ask Cooper to come with me to the kitchen where I hand him a food-stuffed Kong (I keep a stash of these large Kongs filled with PB or yogurt in the freezer) and then I go back to the living room and close the baby gate. He happily works on his toy while I supervise the girls.

Supervise everything.

Speaking of supervision…

Over the years, I’ve written about dog bites a lot, and one of the most common–and heartbreaking–things I’ve read over and over and over again is this: “I only stepped away for a second.”

(Child proofing is clearly beyond the scope of this post, so whether or not your kiddo is able to play somewhere independently and safely is up to you and your family.)

Honestly, we all have to step away now and again. Like, throughout the day, I have to go to the bathroom. Or get a drink of water. Or take a phone call. The baby gates come in handy, of course, but I also take Coop with me if it’s something quick like a trip to the bathroom or to grab a rag (I always need a rag… everything always spills…) That way, I know Violet is safe doing whatever she was occupied with while Coop is with me.

If it’s not possible to leave Violet where she’s playing (like in the backyard) and I need to do something quick like change the baby’s diaper or grab snacks or whatever, she has to come with me. She usually complains, but she’s pretty solid on the boundaries about safety, Cooper, supervision, etc.

Reinforce positive interactions.

I believe that kids should be involved in pet care where it’s age- and skill-appropriate. Violet doesn’t scoop out their food or count their medications, but she does carry their bowls to their assigned spots and sets them down. She doesn’t pick up poop in the backyard, but she runs around with me and tells me when she finds some to pick up. She doesn’t hold the leash when we walk Cooper, but she often carries a can of cheese to dole out whenever she wants.

Violet’s also learning how to train Cooper. Every time we leave the house, she cues him to go to his bed, then gives him a cookie and says bye. She’s been working on recall training and some of the ASL training with me in the backyard. All supervised, all positive.

She’s OBSESSED, btw, with having her own clicker and treat pouch. It makes her feel so important. I have this treat pouch, and she uses one that’s similar to this one. We both use a super basic clicker or this touch stick. Cooper gets a million treats–usually for free–and she has a blast.

Allow them time together and time apart.

You are their person. Both of them. Or all of them if you have multiple kids or dogs. They should get time with you alone as much as possible. I know it’s tough. There are only so many minutes in a day. I generally reserve evenings for Cooper because the girls are both in bed around 7. Then he and I can train, play outside, walk, cuddle, whatever. Violet and Astrid get most of my attention all day long, so that’s his time.

Throughout the day, I encourage Violet to play independently, and if she’s playing and Astrid is napping, I can squeeze in some extra Coopsie time or make him a puzzle toy or something like that. They all deserve your attention, so dole it out mindfully when possible.

Increase your focus on safety in times of intensity.

Toddlers throw tantrums. They vary in degree. Some kiddos ball up their fists and scream while others go full Red Ross.

Violet’s tantrums reside on a spectrum so far beyond Red Ross that officials are considering renaming Kilauea volcano, the most active volcano in the world, after my dear daughter.

In those moments, my job is to keep her safe AND keep the animals safe. If your little one tends to be on the more volatile end of the tantrum spectrum, first, please know I’m right there with you holding space for our tiny little warriors. But, also, remove your pets from the room. Put your kid somewhere safe for a sec, move dogs, cats, rabbits, etc. from the room, then close the door and focus on your kid. This is pure management, not training, and that is literally the only thing you can do in those moments.

(BTW, I’m not interested in any parenting tips, tricks, advice, etc. about tantrums. Every kid is unique. I know my kid. You know your kid, so do what’s best for him or her in the moment. Hold space. Stay calm and present. The end.)

Will they be BFFs?

Maybe. Maybe not.

And it doesn’t really matter either way. Your job isn’t to force a relationship but rather to teach everyone how to interact together safely and to supervise them whenever they are together. If they become friends, great!

In my house, I know Violet loves and adores Cooper roughly 279% more than he does her. And that’s okay. If it were up to her, she’d be the kid climbing all over him, kissing his face, hugging his neck, etc. But it’s not up to her. It’s up to me, and I’ve taught her that none of those things are okay.

When she runs and screams and prances around, he gets worked up. I don’t want him to get so fired up he nips, so when I can see it starting (actually… hear it… his first line of defense is barking…) I know to remove him from the situation. That’s my job.

Dogs and toddlers can get along. But the most important thing is that they interact safely.

Photo by Levi Saunders on Unsplash

ASL for Dogs: Starting our sign language journey

Hello, friends! Let me just insert this quick note up right up front: This post requires a good bit of back story. So, if you’re just here to read about sign language cues for dogs, skip ahead to the ASL for Dogs header below. Otherwise, here’s where the backstory starts, and I think this is the most important thing to know at the outset: Cooper isn’t deaf.

Most–dare I say all?–of the posts I could find on teaching dogs ASL worked on the premise that the dog was deaf. Makes sense, right? A deaf dog needs to learn hand signals, no question. Choosing ASL rather than arbitrary obedience cues makes sense, too, because a deaf dog needs a lot more guidance than a hearing dog, so you need more signs at your disposal.

How to start ASL for dogs: Cooper is a hearing dog, but we're starting to teach him ASL signs. Here's why and how we're getting started.

Why am I teaching my hearing dog American Sign Language?

Let’s back up a step. Last November, our daughter Astrid was born. She spent nine days in the NICU, and during that time, she failed her newborn hearing screen. They referred us to a pediatric audiologist who could see her at the end of January. At that appointment, we discovered Astrid has mild-to-moderate hearing loss in both ears.

Truth? I was heartbroken. I felt so sad that she couldn’t hear birds chirping, that she couldn’t hear Violet singing to her, that she couldn’t hear me whisper, “I love you,” as I tucked her in at night. I worried about what it meant for her and for her future, for all the things that were suddenly thrust completely out of my control. Mamas want to protect, and this was something I couldn’t keep her from.

They scheduled a follow-up screen in March to try to refine the sounds she could and couldn’t hear–it’s tough in an infant since she can’t tell us anything–and between the two appointments, I started researching everything I could. We hooked up with our state’s health department, which provides an impressive number of services for kiddos 0-3 with developmental challenges and started aligning support services, one of which is an American Sign Language teacher.

Now, Astrid isn’t profoundly deaf. She will get hearing aids, and those will help immensely. She’ll receive listening therapy and speech therapy and occupational therapy if we need it, all through the state program. (She does have some other developmental delays that don’t relate to the topic of this post, but we’re getting physical therapy and such at the same time. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve likely seen her Doc Band!)

But all of it–the therapies, the hearing aids–screeched to a sudden stop because her ENT appointment was March 12, and the state closed on March 15. This is my absolute biggest anxiety right now because I just want her to hear! I want her to start speech and listening therapy! It makes me anxious not being able to DO SOMETHING to help her.

But, while we wait for all those pieces of the puzzle to fall in line, we’re focusing on the one thing we can all progress on together: learning sign language!

Even though the hearing aids will help Astrid hear, we need to learn ASL as a family because, for one thing, she won’t be able to wear them all the time. Like, they can’t get wet. So, what do you do during bath time or pool time in the summer? What if she loses one and we have to wait for a replacement? Or, since we don’t know the cause of her hearing loss, what if it’s degenerative? So, we all decided right off the bat we were going to learn a new language together! Violet’s the quickest learner of us all, I think! But, we realized we need to incorporate Cooper, too, and that’s where our sign language journey begins.

ASL for Dogs: Getting started

First, it’s helpful to know that dogs learn better visually than verbally. You can read an interesting summary of recent research here, but the gist is that, when learning something new, visual works best for dogs.

In Cooper’s case, we trained with a combo of verbal and visual cues. The visual cues were basic obedience cues, totally unrelated to ASL. He’s equally solid on both the visual and verbal because we usually use them both, though we rely more heavily on the verbal.

If your dog isn’t yet trained to either verbal or visual cues, you have a totally clean slate! If your dog can hear, I recommend pairing them together, but if your dog is deaf, focus on the visual. My friend at Deaf Dogs Rock linked to an AMAZING YouTube video for ASL for dogs that I bookmarked and have watched over and over. It’s the best place to start! Regardless of how you’re cuing your dog, remember that basic training like this requires time, patience, and lots and lots of practice!

If your dog is already trained to verbal cues OR to verbal and visual cues, start adding the hand signals (using that video linked to above) to go along with your verbal cues. Integrate the cues throughout your day, not just at specific “training times” so it becomes second nature for both you and your dog. Practice, practice, practice. It’ll take some time for your dog to make the mental shift–why is she doing that when she wants me to sit? that’s not sit! Be patient and use the hand signals as much as possible throughout the day; for example, ask your dog to sit using the new hand cue before eating or going outside.

Coop’s plan: Since he’s already trained on the verbal, I’m just going to switch my hand cues from the obedience ones to the ASL ones and run basic obedience drills so he can start identifying the hand cues. I’m also going to start using the ASL cues during those times I generally rely on the verbal. That will probably be a harder habit for me to break because I so often just call something over my shoulder without making eye contact with him, like when I’m asking him to sit on his mat for dinner.

3 ASL cues to start with your dog (plus another…)

We’re focused on three cues to get started: come, down, and stay. Cooper’s down is his default instead of sit because he has wonky hips. If your dog’s default behavior is sit, make that substitution.

Those three cues are, in my opinion, the most important for safety’s sake.

BTW, if you need more help on training a solid recall, check out this post. It doesn’t deal with ASL, but just swap the instructions as you read!

One more: For those of you who clicker train, here’s a fourth cue: thumbs up! Since you can’t mark the behavior with a click for a deaf dog, or if you’re trying to phase into hang signals only, a thumbs up can serve as that marker.

ASL Resources

I absolutely LOVE this video from ASLNook.com chock full of dog signs! Plus, the girls and their dog are the more adorable little crew:

We also picked up two sign language dictionaries that our instructor recommended. I’ll link those below. Note that as an Amazon affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

The Gallaudet Dictionary of American Sign Language: We ordered this to work on our vocabulary, but there’s a ton of useful information about how to sign, how to use your hands, and so on in the beginning material. An excellent resource!

The Gallaudet Children’s Dictionary of American Sign Language: We bought this for Violet, and she LOVES to sit and flip through the illustrations.

Both books came with DVDs that are sort of awkward to navigate but include really helpful video clips of the signs being done by real people. We watched the dog signs ones over and over until we felt like we got the hang of it!

Train with me!

If we’re not yet connected on Instagram, you can find me here. I’m going to share Instagram Stories throughout the next few weeks of us working on training Coop his new ASL cues. And! If I can figure out how to make it come together, I’ll create a stories highlight with the ASL cues. (Note to self: Search YouTube for how to do that effectively!)

Join me on Instagram!

In the meantime, what questions did I leave you with? Do you have any experience with ASL? What about your dog: Is your pup trained with visual cues, hand signals, or both? I’d love to learn what you’re doing in the comments below!

The Best Rain Gear for Dog Walks

Keep you and your pup dry this spring.

The Best Rain Gear for Dog Walks: Is there anything cuter than a pug in a yellow rain coat?

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Don’t let April showers keep you indoors!

Many of us find ourselves walking more than usual this month! It’s a great way to break up the day and to get outside safely. Obviously still maintain distance from others, and consider wearing a mask.

Quarantine-related measures aside, walking in these April showers can be peaceful and relaxing, assuming you and your pup have the right gear to stay warm and dry! Remember: There’s no bad weather, only bad gear.

I searched for the best rain gear for dog walks, and I wanted to share some finds and some recommendations for you and your pup. (BTW, if you love a reactive dog like Cooper, you know that April showers make for prime walking weather!)

Rain Boots for You

Hunter boots, aka “wellies,” are the standard for keeping feet dry. You can get just about any color/size combo, and they are so easy to clean. They are pricey, depending on the color and finish you choose, but last for ages.

If you’re looking for something a little more affordable OR something a little cuter, check out these dalmatian print boots. SO CUTE!! Based on the reviews, though, these probably won’t last you more than a season, so the Hunter boots might just be worth the investment.

Rain Boots for Your Dog

Depending on where you live, it might still be super cold in April. Here in Indiana, we’ve gone from a little bit of snow to upwards of 80 degrees to a major hail storm to sunny-but-30-degrees. Boots keep your pup’s feet warm and dry, if needed, or if you don’t want to clean muddy paws each time you come in. I recommend Ruffwear or Kurgo. One warning: If you choose Ruffwear, make sure you select 4 boots in the dropdown! I’m not sure why they do it, but the product listing defaults to a set of 2. Kinda tricky if you’re not paying attention.

Hat for You

This might be personal preference, but I don’t use an umbrella when I walk Cooper in the rain. I need both hands free to balance leash, pickup bags (these), and my can of squeeze cheese. If your dog isn’t reactive like Cooper, an umbrella might work for you. My go-to, though, is a regular old baseball cap. There are tons of adorable rain hats (like this one), but if it’s windy, I don’t want to worry about my hat blowing away. Is that just me?

Rain Coats for You

I bought a neon yellow rain coat at a running event a couple years ago because I wanted something that would ensure we’d be seen in fog, rain, early mornings, and so on. I chose neon for safety, and I highly recommend you do, too, or something reflective. Ideally a mix of both. I can’t find my exact one, but it’s similar to this. (Unrelated confession: My first thought when clicking through that listing was, “Huh. That model sure has a lot of face tattoos…”)

Rain Coats for Your Dog

Like the point above, I highly recommend finding a coat for your dog that has some reflective piping or panels. Those elements on a coat can help you be seen in inclement conditions, which keeps you and your dog safer. Cooper inherited a red Ruffwear jacket from Emmett, so it’s going on more than 10 years old at this point. A good investment, I’d say! They don’t make that exact style anymore, but it’s basically this. Kurgo makes a similar, more affordable version, too. Whatever you buy, just make sure it’s machine wash and dry!

Bottom Line: Get outdoors!

Getting outside is good for you and your pup! It’s good for your and your dog’s physical and mental health–both of which need to be safeguarded during these trying times. Crummy weather or no, a stroll around the neighborhood or a walk down a tree-lined path do a world of good for you both. Don’t let April showers stop you!

Have you been walking much lately? Is spring roaring in like a lion near you?

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

How to Keep Your Dog Busy During Social Distancing

How are you doing? Are you staying well and safe (and sane) at home?

We’re sticking with our one day at a time mentality around here, but now that we’re a few weeks in, I feel like we need to create some kind of routine or structure to our days. A big piece of that needs to include the animals because they’ve been a bit overlooked as we adjusted to this new normal, and they’re also a smidge out of sorts with how different their lives suddenly became. Are your pets feeling like that, too?

Practicing recall with Cooper is one of 30+ ways to keep busy during social isolation

If you’re looking for ideas to keep your dog busy during social distancing, I’ve got you covered!

I started to dig through my archives to pull up ideas on boredom busters for Coop. Below are several posts that will give you dozens of projects and ideas. One note: Most were written for surviving Indiana winters indoors, but almost all of the activities can be moved outside if you have a safe area to play with your pup. Just remember that if it’s a training exercise, outside is way more distracting than inside, so you might need to work a little harder.

But, hey. We’ve got the time…

5 Ways to Keep Your Dog Busy on a Rainy Day

I wrote this one for high-energy dogs like Cooper. Sometimes there just isn’t enough time in the (normal, typical, pre-quarantine) day to tire him out. Implement one or all of these to get a tired pup!

10 Ways to Tire Out Your Dog Indoors

This is my most-trafficked blog post almost every month. And it’s from 2010! We’re always looking for ways to entertain our dogs, I suppose. This will get you started! And when you check all those off the list…

10 (More) Ways to Tire Out Your Dog Indoors

One game on this list is “find it.” We play this several times a week. Recently, Violet’s gotten in on it, and I need to post it to Instagram Stories because it’s hilarious. She hides the toy, tells Coop to find it, then she runs over to where she hid it and yells, “It’s over here Cooper!! Here it is!!”

5 Ways to Exercise Your Dog Indoors

One of the tips in this post feels like a cheat–take a drive–but is so important right now. A spin around town with the windows down can do a world of good for you and your dog.

Teach Your Dog to Come When Called

A solid recall is, I believe, the most important cue for a dog to know. Hands down. If your dog’s recall isn’t solid right now, no worries. We have time to work on it! There are tons of ideas, tips, troubleshooting, and game ideas in this post. If you work on nothing else during this time, work on recall.

Bonus for the cats: Train Your Cat to Walk on Leash

The weather is getting nicer around here, and as soon as it starts to warm up, Newt itches to get outside. It’s time to break out their harnesses and leashes. If you’re interested in taking your cat outside safely, this is the post for you. (Also, I highly recommend you check out Chirpy Cats for the most EPIC backyard cat runs and catios. These are on my dream “someday” list for a backyard reno.)

Just keep playing! Ultimately, we have no idea how long we’re really going to be socially isolated. The most important thing is to find ways to bring joy to the situation, and play does it. If you don’t want to work through any training exercises or you don’t want to DIY or purchase some puzzles, then focus on fun. Grab a ball and play fetch. Go for a long walk. Play tug. Anything that keeps you and your pup happy and entertained.

I hope this helps, and in the meantime, stay well, friends.

How to Work from Home with Pets

Many people around the world find themselves thrust into working from home, whether they ever wanted to or not. Here’s how to not just survive but thrive working from home with pets.

How to work from home with pets

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First, a little background: I started working full-time from home in 2008. I worked for a DC-based design firm when John began his PhD in Indiana, so I experienced working for an employer remotely. Then, I ultimately went full-time freelance, still from home, a couple years later.

That gives me 12 years of working from home under my belt–the whole time with pets. I’ve learned a thing or two (OK, five…) that I wanted to share as many of us suddenly and unexpectedly find ourselves in this spot.

BTW, this is not meant to exclude the thousands and thousands of front-line workers at hospitals, clinics, grocery stores, pharmacies, and gas stations around the globe. I am deeply, immeasurably grateful to you and all you do to keep this world spinning in this time of crisis. Thank you.

1. Prepare distractions.

Fill a bunch of Kongs (or these for a super long distraction–they’re much harder than a Kong is for Coop) with peanut butter and carrots, stash them in your freezer, and pull one out when you get an unplanned phone call or Zoom. If you have more time or have planned meetings, I love puzzle toys like those from Nina Ottosson (I think they’re all licensed by Outward Hound now so there are tons to choose from here) or a snuffle mat, which seems to be the quietest of all the puzzles, at least for Coop!

2. Ditch the doorbell.

The Instacart you’re waiting for? The Amazon order out for delivery? Those items will arrive when and only when you’re on a Zoom. Your phone will ring, and the driver will arrive at the same time. It’s the only immutable law of working from home. For a while, I placed black electrical tape over my doorbell, but people still rang it or they knocked. So, I put up a sign. When Violet was born, I purchased this one from Etsy, but anything will do!

3. Arrange your pets.

I heard a podcast producer say something like this once, and it stuck: When you can’t risk any background noise (an interview, a global conference call, your performance review, etc.), dogs need to be elsewhere. Put them in another room with activities like this or this and close the door. Cats, she said, are more likely to make a bunch of noise if they’re closed out, so leave the door open and hope for the best!

4. Be candid.

When I first started working from home, I worried that pet noise in the background seemed unprofessional. Finally, I just started conversations with a simple, “If you hear some background noise, I work from home with my rambunctious dogs!” More often than not, we’d end up having a couple minutes of pleasant convo about dogs. Now that just about everyone’s in the same boat, be upfront. You’ll likely find your colleague replies with, “And I’ve got a toddler and a cat!” Chuckle and move on with business.

5. Let your pets distract you.

It sounds counter-intuitive, but hear me out: One challenge inherent with working from home is the barrier between your work and home life dissolves. It’s tempting to fire up your laptop after dinner to process a few emails. It’s so easy to put the finishing touches on your presentation on a Saturday morning. And it’s perfectly OK to do those things as long as you balance them out in other ways. (I will never, ever be the person who swears you need to “set firm work hours,” which is probably the most common work-from-home advice out there… it doesn’t make sense to me to be that rigid since working from home enables flexibility!) That’s where our pets come in! Sprinkle in dog walks or time with your cat’s teaser toy throughout the day. You may knock out those slides on Saturday, but that time gets recouped with an extra-long lunchtime walk on Wednesday. In my decade-plus experience, mixing in reliable breaks, even if it means typing a few lines on the weekend, brings me much closer to balance than separating distinct work vs. home hours.

Working from home can be a blessing or a curse. It’s up to YOU and how you manage it. Obviously staying in sweats all day can be great, but if it makes you feel sluggish, throw on some jeans. Turning on Netflix probably isn’t in your best interest, nor is folding the laundry when you should be making that spreadsheet, but hey! you can watch Netflix while you fold your laundry over your lunch hour!

You can do this! We all can! We’ll all get through this, and I suspect this global experiment of working from home might change how the workplace looks forever after.

Hug your dog. Scritch your cat. Then get back to work!

Photo: Ioana Tabarcea on Unsplash