Oh My Dog!

obsessed with dogs

Everything’s fine!

No, really. It is!

Last night, John told me about these dogs he’d seen on a Facebook page of a pit bull rescue a bit north of us. He’s been stalking the page (hi, Deb!) for weeks now. I had just finished scooping the litter boxes, and I said, “What if a new dog doesn’t leave the litter boxes alone?” Where would we put them? Would we invest in more gates? Or rearrange?

And then we both had this moment because… wow… our life is actually pretty easy right now.

Everything's fine! It really is!

Sure, there’s toddlerhood and parenting stuff, the cats and pup, the house and chores, volunteering, civic responsibilities, etc. etc. etc., and there are hard moments in all of that. But like… life  is pretty easy right now.

Next week, I go to my CT scan and oncology appointments, and it’s year six. That means instead of quarterly, I can now go annually. Huge time saver, sure, but also a mental load off. And, just thinking through these past six years, we dealt with cancer nonstop: mine for a while, Emmett’s, Lucas’, Emmett’s again. Meanwhile, we added two cats to the mix. And the long journey of adopting Violet. And moving–thrice.

And now?

Life is quiet. (“Quiet” as a relative phrase when you live with Cooper and a toddler who loves the sound of loud.)

We have routines in place. The days flow.

I used to have so many stories to tell. Reactive dog training with Lucas. Therapy dog work with Emmett. All nutty things Cooper. Integrating cats and dogs. Volunteering at the shelter and the shot clinic.

I do have so many more stories to tell. It’s just different. I need to tell you about Cooper’s “calm down” protocol and his recent food intolerance test (holy moly… eye opening). I need to tell you about Ripley’s escapades and Violet’s budding crazy-cat-lady proclivities.

 

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I also have a couple big rant posts up my sleeve. It’s been a while since I stepped up onto my soapbox. I miss it that soapbox of mine. 🙂 It was so hard, though, to get anything done this past summer. For one thing, I was CRAZY burnt out after the year-long spiral of BlogPaws dismantling. For another thing? Violet!

I just needed to get some childcare, y’all!

Not even joking: When BlogPaws ended, Violet became mobile, and it was impossible to get anything–literally anything–done as she careened around the world trying to kill herself. She started preschool a few weeks ago, and now I have two days a week (three every other week!) to work. To write. To spruce up this site and to launch a couple new projects.

All that to say…

This is the first time in SIX YEARS where life just flows. We’ve got it (mostly) under control. Things are pretty easy.

Which, I’m sure, means something big is about to change–a new pet, perhaps; a sibling adoption, maybe; a move, heck, we were just talking about how it would be nice to live in a townhouse; something.

Who knows. But, for now, I’m enjoying this moment immensely!

Everything’s fine!

 

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Dear Cooper

Yesterday you turned eight.

Eight. years. old.

In my heart, you’re still this little bean:

Which, I’m sure, is why I baby you and call you my little baby and kiss your little snoot and snuggle you all the time because, truly, you are still that tiny fuzz-muffin to me.

But, here you are, eight years old. I think that means you’re a senior now. Gasp.

We celebrated yesterday with a trip to the park followed by a puppy latte.Happy birthday, Cooper!

Here’s the thing, Coop: I can’t overstate what a good boy you are.

Sure, you have some issues. You’re a smidge high-strung as your baseline. You bark. A lot. You jump on (some) people. You spend a lot of time afraid of what’s next–is this a different park? why did we turn left instead of right there? have we walked this route before? do I know this person? this isn’t the routine… 

You are who you are.

But, despite that overarching nervousness (and subsequent, nearly-constant battle with GI issues), you are so. solid. You are so good.

In your eight years, you grew up with two big brothers who let you do whatever you wanted and only sometimes put you in your place. You moved from Bloomington, Ind., to Houma, LA, back to Bloomington, then to Indianapolis. You took on a kitty sister, Newt, who wasn’t so sure of you. You foster-brothered Molly; in fact, you were the first in our herd to take her under your wing. You fostered a kitten, Petey, and again were the first in our bunch to befriend her. You lost both of your big brothers, practically back to back. Then, in perhaps the biggest change of them all, you brought Violet into your loving little fold without missing a beat. Literally the day we brought her home, sound asleep in her carrier, you sniffed her and settled in like, “Yeah, OK. I got this.” And, of course, then came Ripley.

Your life has been full, yes, but with that fullness is the constant of change, and you’ve rolled with it–often being the first to adapt when things shifted dramatically, which I find amazing and just so good, considering how much you struggle in the moment.

We often talk about how you’re such an enigma, Coop. You love dogs, cats, kids, and people so fully. Whenever someone new comes over to the house, as they settle on the couch, you just climb into their lap. Recently, a visiting relative asked, “Can he ever get enough love?”

Nope! Never!

Yet, when we leave the house, you don’t trust anyone or anything. Stranger danger toward people and pets rears its ugly head with barking, lunging, crying, and general fool-headed-ness. But had those people or those dogs come over to play? You would love them right up!

Incidentally, Cooper, this goes counter to basically every instruction from every dog trainer ever. “Meet on neutral ground.” Yeah, right. Every ground but your own is somehow dangerous to you, so it’s made us suuuuuuuper hesitant to find a dog sibling for you right now. You love nothing more than to skitter with another dog, right? Well, I wish I could communicate to you somehow that you’d get to skitter with a sibling IF we could get you to meet one properly… that’s a battle for another day, though.

Today is your day.

You are so sweet. You’re so good with the kitties (minus the occasional probably-deserved thwomping). You’re amazing with Violet. Truly incredible. You have the patience of a saint with the women in your life. You take many things in life very seriously, and that includes having fun. You love to run still, though at 8, we’ve noticed that you’re not up for distance anymore. Your sweet spot is three to four miles, then you’re good for a solid afternoon of snoozing. Every night you go to bed on your spot, the chair in the corner of our bedroom. Then, at some point in the middle of the night, you jump up and nose my face so that I’ll lift the covers for you. You nestle down with your back against mine until John comes to fetch you for breakfast the next morning. Even though you wake me up in the middle of the night every single night, I honestly couldn’t sleep any other way!

You’ll play bow and skitter with the best of them, though you don’t reallllly want to share your ball with another dog if you can help it, so you run as fast and wild as you can so that you’re always first to fetch. Your favorite game is still recall relay in the backyard, which is super fun for me and John, too, because there’s nothing quite so joyful as watching you run and jump full-force. Then, you’re just as happy to come inside and settle with Violet for an episode of Sesame Street while she pats your back.

Violet and Cooper watch Sesame Street

You are just such a good boy.

You’re the perfect dog for me and for our family. I’m so grateful Violet gets to experience childhood with you by her side.

You’re the best, Coop, and I’m glad we get a whole week to celebrate all things YOU!

Happy birthday, bubba! We love you!

Is there a such thing as a perfect dog?

If I had to guess, I’d suppose that I spend more time Googling dog-related topics than the average person.

And it’s not just Google either: My YouTube and Instagram histories are full of all kinds of dog-related searches.

I love it, of course, because as this site proclaims, I am obsessed with dogs.

But, I gotta say… a disturbing trend is emerging.

Is there a such thing as a perfect dog? (Spoiler alert: There is! And he's probably asleep at your feet right now!)

So much stuff online, especially if there’s a product or service associated, is all about the “perfect dog.”

How to train the perfect dog.

How to raise a perfect puppy.

Want a perfect dog? You need this book, this show, this product.

Um.

OK.

I get that just about everyone wants to solve a problem behavior, and I totally believe that everyone should teach their dog a handful of basic manners to make your (and their) life happier and safer in the human world… but… a perfect dog?

What even is a perfect dog?

Who wants an automaton pup who sits or lays still by your side? I don’t think that “perfect dog” could make you laugh nearly so much as an imperfect one!

Aren’t their quirks what make them so them?

I get that this language is designed to sell products.

The idea of perfection ordered online and shipped to your door? A quick fix for $20? I can see how this appeals to some people.

If I buy this collar my dog will behave perfectly.

Once I read this book I’ll be able to get my dog to do what I want, when I want.

But…

None of us are perfect. Expecting total obedience and no funny business from our dogs sets them up for spectacular failure.

If you’re not as immersed in the dog world as I am, as many of  you reading this are, you might have an idealized dog in your head. Maybe it was from watching too much Lassie as a kid or falling in love with Air Bud (I mean, who doesn’t want a dog who plays basketball???) but that ideal dog isn’t real, and pitching a few products that proclaim all you have to do is this, that, the other to make it so is a recipe for disaster. Dogs end up in shelters for such painfully, endearingly dog-like behaviors as eating trash out of an open garbage can, for peeing in the house, for barking incessantly. Sure, those are annoying behaviors, but they’re natural to a dog (the trash smells and tastes aahhhhhhmazing! why wouldn’t I pee to stake my claim in my own home? I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!).

Isn’t it incredible and lucky and bewildering that we have the ability to kindly, patiently, compassionately teach them to ignore the behaviors innate to them and follow our weirdo ones that make literally no sense in dog world (you mean I shouldn’t roll in that amazing, fresh pile of random-animal crap?).

Anyway, if you landed here because you’re looking for ways to make your dog perfect, or if you’re here because you share this obsession, the only thing I can tell you is this:

Your dog already is perfect.

He or she is perfect for you, perfect for your family, and perfect as is.

I think we need to flip this script and focus on how we can be more perfect for our dogs.

Because, honestly, they’re already there.

3 of the best TED Talks about dogs

I don’t know about you guys, but I adore TED talks. They are my go-to YouTube binge on Friday nights (because I’m so cool). There are so many amazing talks, and I love to watch a wide variety–lately I’ve been watching a ton of child development, and I spent a whole night of watching TED talks about cults (SO CRAZY, y’all), and I try to watch all things animal-related.

I struggled to pick three to share, so this may end up being a part one, but these three are SO good. All told, they total 35 minutes combined, so you can sit and devour these with a glass of wine in hand this evening (my usual Friday night routine). I’d love to hear what you think of these three and the concepts presented, and if you have other favorite TED talks–dogs or otherwise–please do share in the comments!

The 3 Best TED Talks About Dogs

How do dogs “see” with their noses? | Alexandra Horowitz

Quick and fascinating. You’ll love this one!

What every person can learn from dog training | Noa Szefler

Note: Don’t read the comments on this one unless you’re a glutton for punishment…

The Problem with Treating a Dog Like a Pet | Kim Brophey

Powerful and important. A must-watch and must-share. If you only watch one of these three, watch this one. (The first couple minutes: tissue alert.)

There you have it: the best TED talks about dogs! (For now…)

Please do share your favorites in the comments! Whether they’re dog-related, cult-related (seriously, you guys… crazy…), or anything else under the sun, I’d love to see your recommendations!

Happy watching, everyone! 

Photo cred: Joyful Exposures

Zero-waste pet care is impossible… but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try!

OK, here’s the thing:

{{dusting off my soapbox… it’s been a while since I’ve climbed up here…}}

A few years ago, I devoured content around zero-waste living. I took notes. Ordered bamboo toilet paper. Subscribed to YouTubers and Instagrammers. Joined a few Facebook groups.

Through all of that, I felt equally inspired and intimidated. There’s so much good we can all do, but… when you start poking around online, many of the conversations are centered around the idea that if you’re not doing absolutely everything, you’re not good enough.

For instance, on a blog post about someone who was thinking about fostering a shelter pup: “…if I truly cared about achieving 100% zero waste I wouldn’t have considered fostering a dog at all.” Thankfully that particular writer decided to forgo her 100% goals and fostered the dog, but there was a lot of back-and-forth conversation on that and many other blogs.

There are also a lot of recommendations in other zero-waste literature to adopt vegetarian pets like rabbits instead of meat-eating pets like dogs and cats.

This is where I get frustrated with the eco-warrior lifestyle: Life isn’t all-or-nothing.

Every major discussion doesn’t come down to my-way-or-the-highway. There isn’t a winner and a loser in every single conversation, like the internet makes it seem.

Life is far more nuanced than that with many more variables than can be predicted or controlled for.

Including loving pets.

Including wanting to be gentler on the planet.

Zero-waste pet care is impossible... but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try!

Is zero-waste pet care possible?

Truth: Probably not.

And that’s actually OK… as long as you’re doing your best!

So, when I released The Zero-Waste Pet out into the world, I wanted to emphasize the baby steps, the incremental growth, the tiny changes that add up to create big, sweeping change.

I want to argue that, no, zero-waste pet care probably isn’t possible, but instead of focusing on that from a “you lose” angle, I’d love to focus on the positive side.

No, zero-waste pet care might not be possible, but we should all strive to do the best that we can.

(In hindsight, I totes should’ve called it “low-impact” instead of “zero-waste,” but c’est la vie. Maybe a sequel is needed… chin-scratch emoji goes here…)

Anyway, in light of all the grumpiness on the internet, and in the hopes of creating a more positive, supportive dialogue, I wanted to let you know:

You’re doing great!

You really are! If you make one tiny swap, your small action contributes to the larger momentum. In case you’re feeling stumped for a couple tiny actions, here are a handful of easy, meaningful things you can do today:

  1. Pick up errant dog poop you spot on your walks. It’ll help prevent groundwater contamination!
  2. Turn your AC one degree warmer. You’ll save a ton of energy and money on your bill, and your cats will love you for it! (Here are some more energy-saving tips for spring/summer!)
  3. Pile up your pets’ fur after a brushing session and place it outside near trees or bushes where birds nest. NOTHING makes me happier than seeing my pets’ fur woven into a bird’s nest!! #littlethings #circleoflife
  4. Shop your values. As you run errands this week, think about your purchases as little votes for sustainability. Instead of picking up your usual clay litter, consider a swap to a natural alternative. Grab a stash of canvas bags and stow them in your car so you can decline plastic bags, not just at the grocery but at every store you hit this week. Rather than buy a packaged box of dog treats, whip up your own with ingredients you probably already have around the house. Before you click “buy” or hand over your cash, think about how that trade reflects (or doesn’t) your values.
  5. Pick up your copy of The Zero Waste Pet with coupon code i’m awesome! for 20% off. HAH! Had to get a little shame(ful) promo in here. 🙂 If you haven’t picked it up yet, it’s chock full of tons of positive, easy, achievable tips for lessening your pet’s carbon pawprint. Plus, it includes a password to a private page that includes a ton of extra resources, downloads, recommendations, recipes, and more.

My bottom line: I want you to feel good about every action you take!

Anything is always better than nothing!

You are doing an awesome job taking care of your pets and the planet, so keep it up, and let me know how I can support you on this journey in the comments below!