At the beginning of 2020, instead of setting a bunch of goals, I decided instead to focus on three main priorities and one single word to guide my year.
That word?
Ease.
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Ironically…
Nothing yet this year has been easy. In fact, some stuff has been really effing hard. And it’s only February 3. Of course, with an almost-three-month-old baby and a toddler going through sleep regression, there’s not actually much sleeping going on around here.
No sleep makes everything hard.
These short days magnify exhaustion, too, so some tough stuff piled on top of being super tired has been, well, less-than-easy.
So, when you find something that helps, that alleviates some of the exhaustion or the burden–whether it’s a physical or mental alleviation–celebrate it! For the past couple years, I posted here in response to a prompt from my favorite book blogger, Modern Mrs. Darcy. Her post this year went up today, so, without additional preamble, here’s what’s saving my life right now!
Deliveries
OK, I’m about to get super real here: If I could never step foot inside a store for the rest of my life, I’d be thrilled. (Please, please tell me there are other shopping-haters out there?!? Let me know in the comments because I sometimes feel like I’m alone in this… I mean, have you seen the “haul” videos on YouTube?!?)
While it’s not possible to not shop, I’ve relied heavily on deliveries lately. With a newborn who was born prematurely during flu and RSV season, I minimize trips out. Plus, it’s important to me to spend my money in a way that reflects our values, so for instance, I’ve been getting tree-free toilet paper, paper towels, and tissues delivered from Who Gives a Crap? <— that link should get you $10 off to try. I also get our plastic-free laundry detergent delivered from Dropps. When Coop’s on The Farmer’s Dog (we rotate and he’s been off it for a while) it comes automatically. <— that link should get you 50% off a trial box. We also get our grass seed cat litter delivered from Only Natural Pet, but here’s the one tribulation with deliveries: It’s been sold out on and off over the last year, so we’ve missed the shipment a couple times. Ugh. Otherwise, getting these regular, fast-consuming items delivered saves me from having to think of them and from having to take a newborn and a toddler out to the grocery, especially in bad weather.
My Public Library
On most Saturdays, you’ll find me tucked into a carrel typing away. John never works Saturdays, so it’s my one chance to sneak off and get in a full day’s worth of work. I value that time immensely. It’s quiet. It’s productive. I can get a large coffee and drink the whole thing hot. Also, I eat lunch in the little library cafe and use that time to read my book in peace. Frankly, though, I’ve been working through Ducks, Newburyport since the start of the year. It’s good. Really good. I don’t normally love experiment fiction, but this works for me. BUT at over 1,000 pages, order the Kindle version or check out the digital version from your library because my arms ache from hefting that thing around! (IF you decide to tackle this novel, give the narrator a good 50-75 pages. It takes that long for her voice to sink in, but once it does you won’t be able to get it out of your head.)
Mild Weather
I don’t mean this one, not really, because this crazy “winter” weather doesn’t bode well for us or for our planet’s future… It’s not supposed to be in the 60s in Indiana in January. However, it’s saving me right now.
Violet attends preschool two days a week, and dragging her and her coat and hat and mittens and boots, plus Astrid in her bucket seat, well, it’s a lot. I’m thankful that the winter has been mild (so far), though I sure wish I could take better advantage to hit the trails with Coop! John, though, has been running Cooper almost every morning before he leaves for work, which is saving me, too, because Coop is nice and exercise and calmer!
Yoga With Adriene
If you’re not among the six million or so people subscribed to this YouTube channel, you gotta! In all seriousness, if you need an at-home workout that’s usually under 30 minutes, she’s the best. I did her 30-day challenge in January and looked forward to the video every day. She’s relateable, hilarious, helpful, and she has the cutest dog, Benji, who’s in almost every video. In fact, there was a video recently that didn’t have him lounging by her mat, and Violet looked up at the TV and said, “Hey! Where’s her doggie?” (I’m thinking about getting V this dinosaur mat because she LOVES doing yoga with me, and it’s just so cute!!)
Last year, I took a giant step back from Facebook. I just couldn’t take it. I’m going to be using it more in the coming year for a couple groups I joined, but my favorite place to hang out online is Instagram. I follow some really enjoyable accounts, and I like the time I spend on there. Instagram doesn’t have the same icky factor that Facebook has to me. Do you feel similarly?Let’s connect! You can find me here.
There’s more
Wool socks, good books, family movie night, friends who understand–but those five came to mind immediately as helping me through this season.
How about you? What’s saving YOUR life right now?
We had 70 degree weather over the past weekend – which is crazy winter weather here. We have a snow storm today and tomorrow, so perhaps normalcy will be restored. Good luck with the kiddos It brings back memories of newborn twins with a three-year-old and a full-time job and how difficult that was. Enjoy the wonderful family time.
Twins + a toddler… you’re a hero. 🙂
A swing from 70 to a snowstorm feels so strange, doesn’t it? I guess this is our new normal! We did enjoy the perfect weather yesterday, though, hitting the trails with Coop and the girls. It was beautiful out, so I was grateful for that!!
Set your barometer lower! Yep I said it, I realize that when I am most frustrated is when I have/had a plan that is not working out, it could be to get something/s done, to be more ahead than I am, or whatever. I learned to set me barometer/expectations lower and if I accomplish 2-3 things a day I feel supercharged, and no judgement. You young moms have huge jobs, with lots to do with less time, you work, parent, exercise, cook, clean, this list goes on. So the laundry is not caught up, so you may need to vacuum, so the dishes might not be done, who cares if the people are happy and healthy. I tell my niece all the time (she has two youngsters), take it easy, it’s okay if it is not all done! I too hate shopping! And by the way, I think you are doing a heck of a job, great blog!!!!
Thank you for the kind words! And YES! That is great advice! I’ve tried making my to-do list my three “most importants” of the day and focusing only on those three tasks. I don’t always get to them, but it makes me feel like I get closer if I can cross off 1 or 2 out of 3 than, say, 1 or 2 out of a list of 20! Those small mental shifts really do help, like you said!!
You are NOT alone on the shopping issue! I hate shopping in a store! IF I felt like I could trust the staff at our local grocery store to pack food with the furthest-out expiration dates available, I would use that service. Unfortunately, I don’t. All our grocery stores are owned by regional (if not national) chains.
Anti-fatigue mats in front of the stove and kitchen sink are a blessing right now. With plantar fasciitis and a heel spur in my left foot, these pads are a must. As is my recliner so I can sit with my feet up in between walks around the yard or having to stand on a hard floor for any length of time.
And having a hubby willing to help me brown Ducky’s ground turkey each week to be added to her Dr. Harvey’s Canine Health base mix for her meals. (This stuff is great! It’s easy to prepare; and it’s a lot less expensive than The Farmer’s Dog, even with the added expense of fresh-ground turkey.)
It’s been unseasonably warm here for the past few days, but we also had rain on Friday. Ugh. Today’s supposed to be 70F. It makes for a pleasant day for a walk so I’m not complaining.
I’ve done grocery delivery a couple times now, both when I was going through the whole appendicitis thing and really couldn’t leave the house. I had two big problems with it: First, they packed each item in its own plastic bag. Seriously, I ordered 15 things and got 15 bags. Why?!?! Second, they make weird substitutions. There were a couple items that the exact thing I ordered apparently wasn’t in stock, but the replacement wasn’t even close. I do, however, do ClickList at my Kroger, which is just ordering everything online and picking it up in a drive-thru. That’s been OK so far because they at least text you to approve a substitution. I do think that because these services are so new, they’ll get better and more refined over time, or at least I hope because then it’s one less store to go into each week! 🙂
I hate shopping, but it’s actually helping me right now. With the addition of two adults and two children to my house, plus 20 days of someone being sick, my mom in the hospital, getting out of the house right now is a little bit of sanity. Walking the dogs, even in cold, helps me keep my sanity.
Do you have local grocery stores for online shopping? Those can be great because you can order the food and then pick it up. While not everything is available online, if it can cut grocery time by getting as much as possible ready for you.
Don’t forget to make time for you and John as well. Those moments are precious. Always here if you need a chat. Hugs my friend.
Yoga with Adriene!! I love her, too. I also did the 30 day challenge in January. I started doing yoga with her last August and have been fairly consistent. Definitely notice a difference in my strength and flexibility and general anxiety level. I have also started doing some of her meditation videos before sitting down to write – helps clear my mind and focus.