May I please vent for a moment?
There are few things that bother me more than when I see someone using their dog’s collar to steer, drag, pull, or otherwise force their dog into going or doing something.
I’m not talking about an emergency situation where, like, a bicyclist isn’t paying attention and is about to slam into your dog so you snatch his collar to yank him out of harm’s way. Or other similar scenarios. There are causes and reasons for everything. I get that.
What I’m talking about is when you see someone using a dog’s collar to “drive” their pup when the dog clearly doesn’t want to or doesn’t understand.
It makes me nuts.
Imagine if you’re at a super fun house party with your friend, and you decide to go out onto the patio. The door is open. You’re super pumped to get outside and get some fresh air. You start walking toward the door. Just as your foot is about to hit the threshold of the door, your friend grabs you by your shirt and yanks you backwards, away from the door and into another room.
What the…? You’d likely be shocked at your friend’s behavior!
That would be such a violation of physical space and boundaries that of course your friend would never do that to you.
Yet, people do this to their friends, their dogs, all the time!
I see it everywhere: the guy loading his pup into the car at Lowe’s, the lady dragging her dog outside even though he’s having the time of his life greeting their house guests, the neighbor pulling his dog inside even though he’s having the time of his life barking at everyone walking by, etc. etc. etc. I’m sure you can think of a million other examples, too.
I’ve been guilty of it, too. Just recently, in fact, a glass broke in our kitchen, and I said to Cooper, “Outside!” But he totally wanted to know-slash-taste what had spilled everywhere (pickles), so I grabbed hold of his collar and pushed him out the door. Honestly? Had I asked him again while focusing ON HIM instead of the mess, he probably would’ve just gone out. There wasn’t broken glass there at his feet, so it’s not like it was a truly emergency situation, so it was totally my bad.
(I don’t know if you guys apologize to your dogs when you err, but I totally fess up. I was like, “Cooper, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He forgave me. 🙂 )
Anyway, every time I see it (or mess up and grab Coop’s collar), I cringe.
It’s such an overstepping of boundaries. I would HATE IT, absolutely loathe it, if anyone physically moved me where I didn’t want to go.
So, yeah, while this is a vent, I think the call to action is to think about whether or not you do this. Most of the time–barring those honest-to-goodness emergency situations–it can be completely avoided with better communication. Maybe it’s a call to focus on more training/listening if you find yourself doing this often or find yourself having to do this often because your dog doesn’t pay attention or understand you.
Ultimately, I think we’re all trying to do what’s best, and we are all trying our best in each moment.
No judgement here, just something to think about.
Have you ever used your dog’s collar as a steering wheel? Or are you more self-aware than I am? 😉
Do you think this is a problem behavior? Or do you find this one to be NBD?
I would be angry as a hornet if someone jerked me around like that! I never thought of it that way. That’s a great analogy. I’m definitely guilty of it in the broken glass in the kitchen moments happen. And yes, I too apologize out loud to my dogs. I think what gets lost on us all sometimes is that when we try to take our dogs away from something, that “something” becomes more interesting to them. But when the pickle jar is broken on the kitchen door and a pup is approaching it I can’t seem to remember that I should refocus their attention and not yell like a banshee for them to get away.
Same here! In those panic moments, it’s impossible to keep your head (at least for me). And, in the end, better safe… no matter what!
One of the things we learned in our training classes (positive training, btw) is the collar grab and how to get our dog used to it and basically how to use it. I try to never pull or steer with the collar but if we are in a situation where I need Ray to focus on me or to get him disengaged I do grab his collar for safety. ( I say Ray because I’ve never had as hard of a time breaking Juli’s focus). But with all that being said, I’m going to try to be more aware of alternatives as well because the collar, after all is at such a sensitive area.
I actually hate seeing dogs being pushed or manipulated in any way, e.g. push their rear to force them to sit.
That’s SO interesting, Deb!! I’d love to learn more about that and will do some Googling. Was the purpose to stop them in the moment? Or encourage a look toward you? Definitely going to research this further!!!
We learned it in relation to “come” and when they did, hold the collar and treat for a count of 5 to really reinforce both behaviors and make it a super positive experience. I also read about it in a post by Heather (Handsome Dan) about using it in close quarters when dogs were passing in their hallways and such.
Guilty as charged here as well at times. But not intentionally. With Ducky, it’s usually a matter of opening the door to the room downstairs and closing it once she sets all four feet on the floor. With Shadow, I can’t remember the last time I had to use her collar. She’s usually so willing to do what we ask that we merely have to guide her away from something. Or toward something else.
And, yes, I do apologize out loud to both girls when I do something like that, or if I accidentally step on their foot or “hit” them with my foot going past them. They probably don’t even feel it as much as I think they do, but I apologize anyway.
I love, love, love how many of us are on the same page with apologizing! I’m SURE they appreciate it! 🙂
I saw a woman yanking and pulling at he dog while on a cell phone while out with her pup one night. I was so upset and just stared at her, I wanted to yell at her, but glared instead. We ran into each other again on the next block and she was crying. I stopped and asked if she was alright, she apparently had just been told her boyfriend broke up with her, at any rate, I explained gently that men will come and go, but your dog is a friend for life, I encouraged her to be nicer to her dog and not yank or walk him if she is on the phone because it is not fair to the dog, and that despite the bad news, the dog has done nothing wrong, and will be a support system for her as long as she has him. I think she got it. I hope so for the dogs’ sake. When I walk my dog it is me and the dog, our time, we both enjoy it! If I feel like I want to yank or pull on the leash I immediately know something is up with me, and I stop. Thanks for a great blog
Oh, wow. That’s a really powerful story. What a great reminder to extend grace and compassion wherever we can!! Thank you so much for sharing.
Hell yeah! This bugs me too.
https://www.somethingwagging.com/your-dogs-leash-is-it-a-steering-wheel-or-a-communication-tool/
LOVE YOUR POST!!! Tweeting it out now!!!
I don’t like seeing this either. Though I admit I have rushed Ruby on a few walks – but then I feel SO GUILTY and over apologize to her. I read something that said rushing your dog while they are sniffing a tree or some other intriguing object outside is like interrupting someone reading a book or watching movie – it robs them of seeing how the story ends.
That is SUCH a great analogy!! And that’s something I’m guilty of way more than grabbing his collar… I think we have a certain amount of time or a certain destination and have definitely found myself impatient and pulling him along. I’m going to keep that comparison in mind. SO good! Thanks, Kristin!!