If I had to guess, I’d suppose that I spend more time Googling dog-related topics than the average person.
And it’s not just Google either: My YouTube and Instagram histories are full of all kinds of dog-related searches.
I love it, of course, because as this site proclaims, I am obsessed with dogs.
But, I gotta say… a disturbing trend is emerging.
So much stuff online, especially if there’s a product or service associated, is all about the “perfect dog.”
How to train the perfect dog.
How to raise a perfect puppy.
Want a perfect dog? You need this book, this show, this product.
Um.
OK.
I get that just about everyone wants to solve a problem behavior, and I totally believe that everyone should teach their dog a handful of basic manners to make your (and their) life happier and safer in the human world… but… a perfect dog?
What even is a perfect dog?
Who wants an automaton pup who sits or lays still by your side? I don’t think that “perfect dog” could make you laugh nearly so much as an imperfect one!
Aren’t their quirks what make them so them?
I get that this language is designed to sell products.
The idea of perfection ordered online and shipped to your door? A quick fix for $20? I can see how this appeals to some people.
If I buy this collar my dog will behave perfectly.
Once I read this book I’ll be able to get my dog to do what I want, when I want.
But…
None of us are perfect. Expecting total obedience and no funny business from our dogs sets them up for spectacular failure.
If you’re not as immersed in the dog world as I am, as many of you reading this are, you might have an idealized dog in your head. Maybe it was from watching too much Lassie as a kid or falling in love with Air Bud (I mean, who doesn’t want a dog who plays basketball???) but that ideal dog isn’t real, and pitching a few products that proclaim all you have to do is this, that, the other to make it so is a recipe for disaster. Dogs end up in shelters for such painfully, endearingly dog-like behaviors as eating trash out of an open garbage can, for peeing in the house, for barking incessantly. Sure, those are annoying behaviors, but they’re natural to a dog (the trash smells and tastes aahhhhhhmazing! why wouldn’t I pee to stake my claim in my own home? I MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE!).
Isn’t it incredible and lucky and bewildering that we have the ability to kindly, patiently, compassionately teach them to ignore the behaviors innate to them and follow our weirdo ones that make literally no sense in dog world (you mean I shouldn’t roll in that amazing, fresh pile of random-animal crap?).
Anyway, if you landed here because you’re looking for ways to make your dog perfect, or if you’re here because you share this obsession, the only thing I can tell you is this:
Your dog already is perfect.
He or she is perfect for you, perfect for your family, and perfect as is.
I think we need to flip this script and focus on how we can be more perfect for our dogs.
Because, honestly, they’re already there.
Ah yes. “Pobody’s Nerfect,” even our pups. I can’t even imagine what my dogs would be like if they were “perfect.” Are there some behaviors that may never go away that drive me a little crazy? Yes. But if they mattered THAT MUCH in the grand scheme of things, I would be actively working to counter them. And I would have to be “perfect” in my countering of them, and I’m just not.
Besides, quirky dogs have long been my favorites. Who wants a dog who sits quietly and still and never does anything weird? That’s not a family member that’s a statue. Hit up the toy store and get something to set next to your fireplace.
Great post, Maggie!! I don’t want a “perfect” dog. I want a perfectly IMperfect dog. And I’m happy to say I have two. Callie and Kissy became “perfect” when they got their angel wings. (Way too soon in Callie’s case.) I’m not ready for their younger sisters to join them!
Yes! What do we need to do for them?
Great post. I love your perspective on natural behaviours and how dogs work with us to live in harmony. Or mostly harmony. Perfection isn’t needed for that. <3
I have the best rescue dog, my bestie (!!!). She is exuberant to say the least, and loves everyone, she is a true ambassador for bully breeds. I have a neighbor who loves her but constantly tells me about Ceasar training on tv who can have these dogs walking in a heel position at all times, or who are pretty placid dogs after his training, I don’t argue with this neighbor, I simply say “she is perfect”. And in my eyes she is, there is no arguing that, and she has her canine good citizenship and still has her personality!
When people would see Jake, they would say, what’s wrong with him? What’s wrong with his legs? What’s wrong with his eye? What’s wrong with his skin? My response to everything about him (including questions around his insane prey drive) was…’nothing! He’s perfect!’ He is literally the perfect dog who Is living his best life and some days I have to catch poop in my hand but I wouldn’t change a thing. And when he didn’t want to add to our family when Melvin died, and he tri d to attack any dog who got too close to our house, I didn’t ask what was wrong with him, we focused on why it was a good choice to chase that one away.
Great post! I love my dogs flaws and all – just the way they love me! Since we lost Rusty I have noticed it is the quirky habits and sometimes frustrating exuberance and crazies that I remember and cherish. Not the times he had a perfect heel and had perfect obedience.
Totally agree with you! I love how my dogs are crazy and look guilty if they’re caught for being naughty or about to be naughty but don’t really care because they know I allow them to be them. Carefree. lol.
Dogs are so smart. Sure some rules must exist like don’t run outside or be careful not to freak out the visitors too much, but otherwise, they are not expected to be robots. Those who want robots for pets should get those toy dogs that work with batteries. 🙂
Perfection is overrated and kind of boring. I’m all about imperfection (in everything not just dogs). Imperfection is way more fun and interesting. Our imperfections give us character and make us ourselves.
My dogs are perfectly imperfect and I love them no matter what. I am concerned that it is trendy right now to have a dog. I hope that people are taking a genuine interest in dogs and are in it for the long haul rather than getting a dog because it is cool.
Hi Maggie,
First-time poster here ;). I pretty much agree with what you say in this post. To me, my dog feels perfect, even though I pretty much know that she is not. She could be more obedient and less possessive of her toys when there are other dogs around, for example. Still, we love her as she is and we try to work on any issues that come up.
On a totally unrelated note, apart from this blog I’ve also been reading your personal website and I found your content really interesting. Thanks a lot for your effort!
I say it all the time, my dog Theo is not perfect, but he’s the perfect dog for our family! Not everyone could appreciate his idiosyncrasies, but they are part of the reason why I love him so much. He doesn’t like strangers, but he loved my kids and me the minute he met us at the shelter. In less than a day, he recognized people who live in this house from “others.”
I’m sure he could write about a book about how imperfect I am, but I believe he loves me too.
Totally agree. All dogs are different. My Charlie is exceptionally smart (although selectively obedient). My new rescue dog, Jake, is a complete sweetheart but not as smart as Charlie. And I accept him for who he is… good and bad. I don’t want to “over train” him to be something that doesn’t come naturally to him because I think this breaks their spirit. I just let him be the dog he wants to be and laugh along with him. And as Charlie ages, she changes too. She’s less patient and gets grumpy at times, she wants to sleep more than play… and I respect that. I saw a mantra on Instagram the other day… “Everything is on schedule.” It’s a good concept to adopt – stop over-planning everything and just accept what is. Everything is on schedule.
I love everyone’s stories of their “perfectly imperfect” pups! What joy they bring to our lives!!! Thank you, all, for sharing your pups with all of us!