I get asked a lot of questions about starting a pet blog, and I’m always happy to share what I’ve learned over the (almost nine!!!) years. But, when I put all those questions together–excluding detail questions like which platform to use (WordPress) or what comment spam plugin to install (Akismet)–there are a few absolutes for pet bloggers.
- Absolutely anyone can–and should, if they so desire–start and run a blog. That part is simple and really super fun. However, not everyone can–or should–turn it into a business. That part is really freaking hard.
- The technical stuff and all the tips and tricks in the world are nowhere near as important as telling a good story. Learn to tell a story well, then add in tech stuff later if you want.
- You need thick skin.
It’s that third point that’s been on my mind lately, not just because of the you’re-a-bad-mom-and-going-to-hell-to-boot email or the comment that said I’m giving Cooper cancer and turning him into a pill-popping druggie by putting him on Apoquel AND heart worm prevention… It’s not just because of any one specific criticism about any one thing I do (or don’t do) that draws ire, but rather the general discourse in this space.
I honestly believe every space on the internet faces this same problem. It’s universal, I think, but I’m talking pet-specific because that’s where I live.
I just finished reading Brené Brown’s Braving the Wilderness. (It looks like the book is free if you have Audible or you could always do the free Audible trial
It’s pretty good, and I definitely recommend it. In it she talks about how we’ve lost the ability to disagree with one another. People have their “side” on absolutely every issue–even, she points out, issues we know little to nothing about–and we dig in with incivility, judgement, and anger.
I don’t care if you feed your dog raw, home cooked, grocery kibble, premium kibble, or, like Cooper, The Honest Kitchen. I don’t care as long as you’re doing your best and doing what you think is best for your dog.
I don’t care if you choose to adopt your dog or purchase your pet from a responsible, reputable breeder. I choose adoption, but it’s not for everyone, and as long as you do your very best to vet the breeder, great.
It’s OK to disagree. It’s not OK to post aggressive, mean, judgmental comments on someone’s YouTube vid, blog, Facebook, etc. Discourse and discussion are fantastic–being exposed to new, different ideas is how we learn and grow. But being an asshole shuts down the conversation and prohibits any growth.
Of course, there are other decisions–like using a shock collar, for instance, or purchasing a dog at a pet store–that don’t need our anger and our judgment. Rather, they could use our compassionate sharing of the data, not the emotion.
Another one of Brené Brown’s lessons is: What is the most generous assumption that can be made about this person/situation?
In truth, among pet owners, the most generous assumption is always: That person is doing what she thinks is the very best for her pet.
We all know that someone’s best isn’t always good enough–think about the shock collar example–but attacking, name calling, and berating would never help that person make a better informed decision. Most likely, it would achieve the opposite. You know when someone attacks you for something and your instinct is not to change your ways but to dig in your heels?
Anyway, after the most recent “you’re killing your dog” comment, I thought to myself: Why can’t people just be kind?
Not necessarily nice, but kind. There’s a way to say the same thing but kindly. Like: Hey, I’ve always thought that type of medication could be harmful long-term, especially combined with this other med. Can you explain why you’ve made the choice to give both?
Or something. No one has to be fake-nice. No one has to say something they don’t believe to placate, but why can’t we bring the conversation back to pet care?
I see friends get slammed in the comments on Facebook pages, and it breaks my heart to think that kind, loving, lovely people are hurt by someone who doesn’t know them, who doesn’t know they bend over backwards to care for their pets.
So, I was thinking the direction of this post was going to be for newbie pet bloggers: If you want to write about your pets, develop that thick skin. Become rubber so it bounces right off.
But, instead, now that I’ve reached the end, how about this: Let’s all be kinder. Before you comment on anyone’s anything, ask yourself those kindergarten THINK questions! Is it: True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind?
If not, reframe it or move on.
This is a crazy world we’re living in right now full of stressed-out, angry, dug-in people who really are trying to do their best.
Whether you’re a pet blogger, whether you want to start a pet blog, whether you’re a pet owner or an animal lover, the message applies:
“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” – Dalai Lama
I needed this! Thank you ??
I’m happy it helped, though sorry if you’re facing any unkindness. Be you!! I can’t wait to see where your blog goes!
A good philosophy! It boggles the mind how rude people can be to strangers, especially online. I’ll admit to being judgey about some choices people (strangers) make with their dogs, but hey, I don’t know their stories. I’m only rude to them in my own mind, though.
This cracked me up: “I’m only rude to them in my own mind, though.” 🙂
It is going to be very interesting to watch you teaching Violet about interacting with the virtual world. Its a skill she’ll have from childhood where most of us didn’t learn about it until adulthood.
I’m confident that you and John will navigate the challenges with tons of grace.
It’s overwhelming to think about what the virtual world will be like when she’s a teen… I feel like we’re both involved enough with online endeavors to keep an eye on her activities, but who knows? We’ll figure it out, and I really appreciate your vote of confidence!!
I needed to read this! Was verbally attacked at work by angry coworker…who criticizes everything anyone does, the anger is toxic! I was stunned…but am moving on as I don’t want to be around people like this. Where did all the kind people go?
I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I really admire your ability to move on!! I think kind people are everywhere… they just tend to be quieter than the angry ones. I hope you’re healing after your incident.
GREAT post, Maggie!! We all need a little kindness and we all need to be kind, especially in this crazy, stressed-out world.
I’ve been subjected to the same kind of BS about food, meds, etc. over the years but have also been blessed with blogging buddies who used kindness to tell me what they would use instead. It’s my blogging buddies I learn from and the haters I ignore. I also discuss things with our long-time vet. I know he won’t ever steer me wrong. He loves my girls almost as much as hubby and I do, so the trust between us is 100%.
That’s such a level-headed perspective! I don’t understand why anyone feels it’s their place to weigh in so negatively because, you’re right, you can learn from kindness… haters get ignored! Thank you for sharing your perspective!!
I adore your ideas and all they represent! I often think about how bullying has taken on a new level in the space behind a computer and how adults are some of the worst role models for kids. Thank you for the lovely reminder!
SUCH a great point!! We need to model the behavior we want to see in our kids. I can’t wait to see you take on that role as a mama!
I think this is one of the things I dislike the most about social media and the virtual world. People seem to have forgotten kindness and civility. Hiding behind a computer seems to give them brass balls and they say and do things they wouldn’t in real life. But then again, more people are being outrageous in real life too. I wish I knew the answer.
YES! I think hiding behind a screen helps people feel empowered… which is actually pretty sad. 🙁 I think the answer is just more kindness all around, and I’m striving towards that even if someone isn’t kind to me, too!
My hats off to you. People can be very disrespectful and obtuse when it comes to seeing this from a different perspective. I admire what you are doing and I can’t imagine the patience you must have.
I am the owner of the WORLDS BIGGEST PUPPY!!! Legit. She is an American Molossus and her name is Euphrates. She is 31.5 inches to the withers and 175 lbs at only 9 months old. She is absolutely beautiful. Her size is purely genetics. She is proportionate and not obese in any way but she has get I dense bone and well muscled body mass. But… because she is so big I constantly have people making the rudest and untrue comments about her. Its very frustrating and hurtful. You can see her for yourself on my Instagram at Dark Mountain Molossus. Thankyou for sharing your positive attitude. I enjoyed reading the blog.
Ugh, I’m so sorry you have people being rude to you and your puppy. There is absolutely no excuse for that behavior, and I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. Having a giant puppy has to be so FUN! Thank you for sharing her story, and I’m off to follow her right now on Instagram! Hugs to you and scritches to her!!
Wow, this post hit home with me. My pups and I are new to the industry and learning kindness is not universal although it should be. Thank you for the reminder.