We have a… joke? saying?… for this mode Cooper gets in. He totally blacks out. He won’t listen. He won’t calm down. He won’t stop. He won’t come or sit or stay.
He. just. won’t.
We say (in his voice, of course), “Cooper isn’t here right now. Please leave a message, and he’ll get back to you when his brain returns.”
We joke, we have to joke, because it is so incredibly frustrating.
Like, when another dog has the audacity to stop to go to the bathroom in our yard. Or when our friend’s kid comes over who he loves more than anyone and they start playing chase and all of a sudden nothing in the world exists except this kiddo. Or when the neighbors tie up their giant hound dog in the front yard and he barks and barks and barks and barks and barks…
Wait. I agree with that last one, actually.
Anyway, when Coop is blacked-out-not-listening, there’s literally nothing to do except clip his leash and remove him from the situation.
Truly, I think that’s a good rule for any dog who’s just gonzo. Clip on the leash and walk away.
But what about those other times? The times when you’re working on something or out and about and your dog looks at you and then… decides to ignore you? You know he knows the cue. You know he’s physically capable of hearing you. And yet.
So, what do you do when your dog won’t listen?
Here’s what I do in a few short steps:
- Assess whether he really, honestly, wholly knows how to do what you’re asking him to do. This is super-duper important. Sometimes we make assumptions about skills or knowledge. “Why won’t he jump up on this bench? We practice it all the time at the bus stop, and he KNOWS it!” Are you in a new park? A different street? Is one bench concrete and another wood? Since dogs don’t generalize well and people do, we sometimes assume they’re more knowledgeable than they are. So, step 1: Does your dog really know what you’re asking him?
- If the answer to 1 is YES, then the next step is to, first, take a big, deep, calming breath because it’s really annoying when your pup won’t listen, I know! Then, redirect. Your dog is refusing to sit? Ask for a down, and reward when he does it. Ask for a shake, and reward. Refocus your pup into work + reward mode and away from the refusal. Then, after a few distracting behaviors, ask again for what you initially wanted.
- If he STILL won’t sit/up/whatever, time to acknowledge that everyone has their limits, and your dog might’ve reached his. End the session. Toss a ball. Do something fun. Or clip on his leash and walk away. Just like among elementary school students, the reasons for ceasing to listen can vary but are usually specific: don’t understand, bored, frustrated, distracted, tired, hungry… etc. As the human end of the leash, it’s up to us to acknowledge that and to stop pushing. Move on. Tomorrow’s another day.
All that said, there’s one big caveat to this: if your dog’s safety is in danger.
If your dog is barreling toward a busy street and refusing to come when called, or if he’s heading toward a pup you can tell is itching for a fight, or picking up a chicken bone or used condom (true stories, Emmett did all those and more at our park in DC!), you might have to shout. Flail your arms. Fall to the ground. Whatever it takes to distract and disengage your pup from the danger. The advice above is more for general around-the-house or training-session assholery.
By the way, I have a TON to share about Ripley and how all that’s going, and this post ties into that directly because for a while Cooper was so fixated on Rip that he would. not. listen. Not to a single word. So, I took my own advice, starting with clipping his leash to his collar. More on that another day…
I’d LOVE to hear what you do when your dog stops listening? I mean, other than quietly seethe about what a jerk he’s being… or is that just me? What are your tips and tricks to regaining focus?
I’m so glad you posted this, Maggie. First, the fact that in some cases, “Cooper isn’t home right now” (coffee-snort! I’m going to use that line!), and the only solution is to remove him from the situation. So true!
And then, points 1, 2 and 3. Not Listening pushes so many of our human buttons; when we feel blown off, it makes it hard for US to listen to what our dogs may actually be telling us. Understanding that it may not be ‘selective hearing’, and having a plan to deal with the situation, takes the emotion out – keeping us in OUR thinking brain, rather than our emotional brain.
Looking forward to the next chapter in the Ripley story!
“Cookie, treat” always gets their attention…..I have 4.
This post is very timely. Sometimes Blueberry will need to answer the call of nature at 2am. At least – that is what I THINK she is telling me. And so I let her out (she has a dog door but I put the cover on at night so no thieves and/or rogue cats can get inside). And she will sniff the air and then sit down, sniffing, taking in the night air. I’m like – okay – hurry up now, finish up. In my mind – I’m like – do your business and let’s go back to bed, what’s so hard about that??? And I guess in her spotted head she’s thinking – “Wow, what a lovely night to sit outside under the stars and take in all the scents and sounds. I’ am so glad my human fell for my ploy to be let outside – I don’t have to pee at all! Hahahahaha – sucker!”
It’s really frustrating and I usually have to step away. I will sometimes just go back inside, take the dog door cover off and wait for her. If I get too upset over it, it makes it more difficult to fall back to sleep. I could probably get the leash and collar and haul her back inside – but that would require a lot more movement and thinking than I am capable of at 2am.
She listens pretty well 95% of the time – so I guess I can continue to deal with her annoying nocturnal habits… 😉
Thanks for joining the hop! With Mr. N, it’s redirecting mostly when he’s being reactive. Sometimes if he gets too frustrated during shaping, he’ll “give up.” So I have to make sure to break things down enough so he feels like he’s not wrong.
OMD, Maggie, I just had to laugh at the “Cooper’s not home right now” part! I should start saying that about Ducky. ?
Actually, I TRY (don’t always – make that “usually” lately – succeed) to do the deep breath thing. With all the stress around here over the last few months, it’s been hard to focus; but that’s a post for another time. But, I wholeheartedly agree with all 3 steps.
And, I’m looking forward to the Cooper-Ripley saga installment!
Well, I’m ashamed to admit it, but like so many sensitive dogs Julius tends to slink out of the room, if my hubby and I are having a loud or even not too loud disagreement and a key word is uttered, so if I really need to get his attention quickly, I say (not abbreviated) “WTF, Julius” which makes him de-escalate immediately.
Remy made me so mad recently. He wouldn’t come to me so we could leave the dog park. And it wasn’t because I had the leash or he was trying to avoid leaving … instead he was fixated on this random toy he found and his brain thought I was going to take the toy. So he kept prancing around with it just out of reach.
I ended up switching gears like you suggested. He wouldn’t come or sit or stay so I threw a different toy a few times and when he dropped the original, I picked it up.
Good grief!
Most of the time my dog listens really well, she doesn’t always do what I want…but I know she hears me. When this happens off leash on the trail and she is sniffing something and I know she is safe and basically ignores my calls, I have to remember that this is her CNN. She gets the world through her nose, and maybe she has found some incredible smell, and just maybe I am impatient. However, there have been a few other times when I saw a dog approaching that just the tone of my voice (firm, very firm) snapped her out of her fog and she came running!