Last night, Violet thumped her legs in her crib on and off all night long.
She wasn’t awake–at least, not until 4 am–but she spent the entire night lifting her chubby little legs and slamming them down. In her sleep. All night.
See, she’s still sleeping in the little crib in our room. SIDS-prevention recommendations now have infants sleep in their parents’ room until at least six months. So, of course, John and I got little sleep.
Newt and Cooper, who also sleep in our room, slept just fine in case you were wondering…
It’s now 7:15. We’ve been up for three hours. We’re on our second pot of coffee. My work hours haven’t even started yet.
And that’s our life these days… a sleepy, coffee-fueled haze! It’s worth every groggy moment, of course, but we’re still groggy.
What does that haziness mean for Cooper and Newt?
This is a question that’s preoccupied my attention for several days now, and a conversation with a friend helped clarify the predicament for me.
Backing up a step: There are different types of dog people. I think of it like a spectrum. On one end are people who have dogs, love them, and meet their basic needs every day. On the other end are, well, us. Me and you. We have dogs. We love them. We meet their basic needs every day. And then we go above and beyond as much and as often as we can. We enroll in training classes and play dog sports. We research and read and test and train and repeat until we’re confident–or, as confident as we can possibly get–that we’re providing our loves with the best, happiest life. It has nothing to do with how much we spend on them, but rather the dedication to ensuring their physical and emotional lives are taken care of.
Now that we have our hands extra full, I keep asking myself: How can I continue to be the dog (and cat) mama who still always goes above and beyond for Coop (and Newt)?
Ultimately, it came down to one question: How do I want to spend my time?
{{Aside: It’s now the next day. I wrote all that yesterday. She woke up at 4 again today. Send coffee.}}
Anyway, time.
The only answer to that question, in my mind, was I want to spend my time having fun with my family.
Except for one huge change that might be coming later today (another story for another day… but it’s a good one…), we’re simplifying everything that took up unnecessary time and funneling that time into family time. For instance, we realized we were spending a huge chunk of our Saturday cleaning and tidying the house, so we hired a lovely woman to come do the deep cleaning stuff every other week. That bought us the time to take a hike every single Saturday morning.
We go through a ton of laundry detergent, so I got a subscription to the eco-friendly version I love so that I never have to go online and reorder. It just magically arrives right as we’re about to run out. We are also testing out a weekly box of meals, which has saved more time than I imagined, not just in the cooking (everything is already measured out and organized) but in trips to the grocery store. Same thing with work clothes. John and I both work from home but have travel and events throughout the year, so we only need a few clothing items annually, so we signed up for a quarterly box of styled work clothes. (If you’re interested in more detail about either of those services, let me know in the comments, and I’m happy to share all our thoughts!)
All that means is that we can spend our evenings playing Recall Relay in the backyard with Coop. It means we can go for a family walk or jog almost every day. It means we can take Newt out on her line after work almost every day, and it means we can go to the library with Violet every Sunday.
Of course, none of that means that things are easy. Or that we’ve made our life simple. It’s still a complex jugging act in which I’m constantly dropping balls. We still have our work days and work travel, and we have lots of other community and family obligations, time with friends, and so on. Oh, and the big (actually… tiny…) thing that might happen this afternoon…
But, I think my new mantra in life is, “Progress, not perfection.”
I’m doing my best to still be the Cooper and Newt mama who goes above and beyond for them every day, and I’d like to think they know that…
How do YOU simplify??
You guys amaze me – you’re handling this all in such a thoughtful way. Good for you for figuring out ways to simplify. When we lived in one place, we also had a person who cleaned the house – it’s an amazing time saver, and eliminated one of my least favorite chores. Hang in there … before you know it, Violet will be helping with the cooking and cleaning!
Thank you so, so much for the kind words of encouragement! John says he’s hoping she can start mowing the lawn sooner than later… 😉
For us, progress is seeing improvement in the relationship between Shadow and Ducky every day/week/month. And we do, even though there was a slight backslide this past week. At least I know how to “fix” it now, which is something I didn’t know even a few months ago.
Otherwise, we keep things as simple as possible. But we still have to do grocery shopping. And housework.
Those backslides always feel like the pits, don’t they? I love your positive approach focusing on the “fix.”
Except for the three dinners a week that come in the box, we still have to grocery shop, and it’s one of those tasks I just hate!! I’m hoping Amazon Fresh comes to my area sometime soon and I can cross off one more thing! 😉 (Although, weirdly, John LOVES to go to Kroger… I don’t get it myself, but to each his or her own I suppose!)
I need to simplify. These are life goals for me, you are living my life goals. 🙂 Send coffee. I just about rolled laughing at that one. 😉
Oh goodness, I don’t know how you do it! I’m still trying to figure out how to simplify. I have more of a tendency to try to complicate. LOL
Maybe it’s because I tire more easily now that I’m older, or that I just don’t focus as well, but I just can’t seem to get it together lately! Actually, I think a big part of it is that my work situation is in flux and until that settles down I just can’t get myself organized. I have hope that it will all come together soon.
Can’t wait to hear what your big little news is! 🙂
Having a housekeeper changed my life as well and will become even more important in the near future. I am currently trying out different programs for meal preparation and meal budgeting so I’d love to hear what you have been using. Family life is definitely the most important thing and I love how you are purposefully working through all of this. Thank you for sharing as I am learning SO much!
Your post is timely. I just came off a 5 out of 6 day work schedule all 12 hours, had to cut back on everything. Dog walks were shorter and we missed a couple of days, housework stalled, no laundry, and well I ate left overs for 5 days. Back in the saddle today, but your ideas really sparked some thoughts on how I can do better. Thanks for the tips!
Progress, not perfection.. quite thoughtful. If I were in your shoes, I’m pretty sure I would have messed up the situation further.. haha..
Anyway, if you’re looking for trendy clothes for Coop and Newt you can reach out to me anytime.
I’ve just found your blog – but I can relate! We have 4 kids, 1 cat, and 1 dog!
I can totally relate to your time-strapped tale of woe. I’ve struggled with it myself (especially the burdens of cleaning up after pets). One rule I’ve implemented for myself is “One Thing.” As in, if I just do One Thing today. Usually getting just One Thing done starts me moving and I can usually accomplish a couple. It’s that first step that is the killer. By the way, love your description on the spectrum of dog people. I find I’m usually a go-way-above-and-beyond type. Although when I get time starved, it’s usually those relationships that suffer.