Last week, John’s brother, sis-in-law, and two kiddos–ages 4 and 7–visited from Maryland to meet Violet.
Cooper loved having guests, primarily because the 7-year-old was willing to play Cooper’s favorite game, “Chase me but don’t catch me!”
He picks up a toy and runs. He loves to be pursued. He doesn’t really want to be caught. Our nephew was more than happy to chase Cooper–legit trying to catch him, I think, but Cooper is fast and pretty wily–around the house in circles for three straight days.
The kids were obsessed with Newt, too. I’ve noticed kids become fascinated by her. She’s a mysterious little critter, which captivates children. Newt, of course, does not feel the same way.
By the time they left, our three little herd members were wiped. (As was I!)
One thing totally stuck with me, though, that I’ve been thinking about since Saturday. Sitting around chatting with my sister in law, she mentioned how when she was a new parent, she felt like no one was talking about the tough parts, which makes it feel like you’re the only one struggling. (“My kid can’t be the only kid in the world who never, ever, ever sleeps?!”) And, she pointed out, social media makes it so. much. worse.
Everyone puts their glossiest foot forward.
The perfectly-posed holiday photo (subtly matching plaid woven throughout the outfits, obvi), the pet sitting nicely in his Halloween costume, and then–of course–the styled “silly” photo that’s portrayed as an “outtake.”
Right.
Fast forward to Monday afternoon.
The weather was perfect, so we figured we’d take Cooper and Violet to the nearby trails for an evening hike.
A decent-enough pic.
I started to post it on Instagram (“Fun family hike!”), and then I remembered the conversation with my sister-in-law and changed my mind.
Why?
Well, for starters, when we got to the park and parked, Violet spit out her pacifier, and I didn’t notice, so we started to walk without it. The horror.
Also, we weren’t 10 feet from the car when Cooper dove head first into a whole lotta poison ivy. John’s super allergic, so getting the potential oil off of Cooper became a Thing, which meant were weren’t in motion, which meant Violet started to cry.
And cry.
And cry.
So, we got going, only to stop literally another 10 feet further down for Cooper to have a sort of “off” poo.
By this time, we’ve gone back to the car three times: once for wipes to clean up Cooper, once for Violet’s pacifier, and once for wipes to clean up Cooper.
Once we got on the actual trail, I had to put Violet’s sun hat on her because it was still SO sunny, and that was, apparently, the last straw.
She. lost it.
As did Cooper at about the exact same second because from the two trails shooting off from the main one we were on, dogs appeared. Coming at us from both trails. At the same time.
That’s it. We’re done.
We walk back to the car, and I mentioned that I had wanted to get a hiking pic. Sigh.
So, we posed that one literally standing in front of the car. In the parking lot.
Then we drove home.
In total, we were in the car longer than we were at the park.
A couple weeks ago, a friend had said something like, “How are you keeping it all together?”
Answer: I’m not.
No one is!
But social media sort of makes you feel like everyone else has it altogether, you know? Because you know your stuff is hanging by a thread, but then you open Facebook, and it breeds comparison… but, really, you’re comparing your truth to someone else’s glossy post.
Anyway, random thoughts, but in the spirit, I’d like to share the Fourth of July pic we got this year! And here I am sharing it on July 27! Only a mere 23 days late. And, also, it’s this:
So.
Yeah.
Happy Fourth, y’all.
Amanda
You have no idea how needed this was today. Glossy definitely covers the hard.
Bryn Nowell
Have I told you lately how much I love you? I so appreciate this post, and you, and your willingness to remind people how unrealistic social sharing can be.
Someone most likely: farted, made a mess, dropped something, ate something they weren’t supposed to eat, broke the thing you really needed, or simply moved out of the frame for a photo to happen like 98% of the time a camera is poised to shoot.
Real life is hysterical in it’s awesome weirdness and the random bullshit of it all, let’s talk about it so we recognize that we’re not alone!
Chris from Boise
Thank you Maggie! This is a great post. It’s life, and life is …messy!
Forest Poodles
My husband and I refer to it as self editing. It’s easy to forget that all those social media pics are self edited. Thanks for speaking some home truths!
Debra
I am always super critical of any pictures I take and end up not posting. “Oh, I can’t post that, there’s an article of clothing in the back left corner and someone will think we’re slovenly. Oh, I can’t post that because you can see the dog’s teeth and it will end up looking like they’re vicious. Oh, I can’t post that because ….”
Jennifer Shea
Amazing! A blog that tells it like it is is truly refreshing, Thanks Amanda. I loved it.
Cathy Armato
BOL!! I love your honesty!! Even those of us without human kids have to work to keep it together & looking “glossy”. But I do love that last photo of VI & Cooper, that one is really special, love it!
Love & biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Stephanie
I sure do love and appreciate your honesty.
Marsha Schroeder
I love this picture!
Denise
Thank you so much for being you and the wonderful, real reminder of what life is really like behind the glossy photos.
Shannon Hobson
Awee, I love this!
I have an instagram account for my dog (Human-only lovers were quick to point out to me that I posted way too many ‘dog’ pics on facebook…gee hang on and let me sift through the pics of your kids, grandkids, ‘love of your life’ etc so I can remove my obviously offensive dog pic…but I digress) and I felt that all those perfect dogs out there must be fabricated as well…until I discovered that people are a lot more willing to post pics of Fido ripping up their fav throw cushion or shoe…dog shaming is in fashion so it isn’t quite as bad as being the parent that doesn’t have it all together, maybe that will be the ‘in’ thing one day…the truthful portrayal of the chaotic life of a young parent.
Thank you for sharing your reality that so closely resembled my life when my children were small. The frazzled plans and good intentions that often ended in one staged pic that did not represent the actual event at all but certainly was great for the photo album.
All in all I love your perfect imperfections!
Nowadays I am living the real life of being an imperfect dog owner 🙂
Dashin' Dogs
WOW… Just come across your blogs, and they are great. So honest and real.
Maggie
Thank you so much for the very kind words!