Today, for the first time ever, John took Emmett to Purdue for his quarterly staging appointment without me.
He only ever took Lucas once without me, so this is only the second time ever that I’ve missed a Purdue appointment. For a million reasons big and small, it just didn’t make sense for us both to go today, and it made better sense that John take the day off than I.
And yet…
But, with my theme of the year–letting go–resounding in my head, I did it. I let go.
There’s something about being there that makes me feel like I have a little more control over a situation with which I have zero control. Does that make any sense?
These appointments are unpredictable, too. The pattern is the same: a vet student does his intake paperwork and then walks away with my baby, then sometime later that day they call my cell to say he’s done. But the timing is completely erratic. During that time, he goes through a slew of tests like ultrasounds and X-rays and blood work. He and his results are looked at by students, residents, and the attending. Depending on the other patients on each particular day, he’s been finished as early as 2 and as late as 7.
{{Aside: The cafe at the vet school is terrible. Truly awful. The food is gross and expensive, and the WiFi doesn’t work. There are a a dozen squished-together tables but no outlets for laptops. If I ever become a super rich millionaire, I promise to endow the vet school with a cafe deserving of those hard-working students and staff. I’ll name it after Emmett.}}
It is a long, stressful day of waiting, compounded by the fact that I’m forced to drive to a coffee shop since I can’t get any work done in the cafe. Well, not I today. John.
So, even though I’m waiting at home, with reliable internet and coffee that doesn’t cost $5 and Cooper, Newt, and Otto to keep me company… the stress isn’t diminished. It’s compounded by feeling so very far away.
Just before the holidays, Emmett’s platelets tanked. He was on exercise restriction, and they told us the signs to watch for hemorrhaging. We repeated the blood test and kept getting low results. Last week, he made a full and complete recovery in both his platelets and his white blood count. This dog is determined to keep me on my toes. But it makes me wonder what today will bring.
I’m grateful beyond measure that he’s still with us. No one, not us and definitely not his vet team, expected this. That thought is what I’m keeping in mind today when he’s so far away from me and it’s all so out of my hands, out of my control.
John texted me this pic from the waiting room:
I thought he looked unhappy. John said he’s just exhausted.
Which is probably true…
But, here I wait. It’s all I can do. It’s all any of us can do, I suppose, since we truly have such little control over nearly everything.
I fully intended this post to be an update about Em’s blood work, but I guess the stress made me take a philosophical turn. Sorry about that. 🙂 Anyway, hope your day is going well! I’ll share when I know more.
In the meantime, you can catch up on Emmett’s latest escapades here and here.
Poor Emmett! I pray he doesn’t have to suffer much!
It’s good to let different people take pets to the vet. You never know when you might need to have someone the dog(s) don’t know well take them in for something.
Sounds just like a regular hospital cafe. 🙂
Hoping you get good results! Yeah, I think we all struggle with letting go, especially when it involves are pets. Your doing a great job, and Emmet seems to look okay in the picture.
We hope you get good results! I totally understand letting go, no point in stressing over something you can’t change. 🙁
I hope the results are good!
🙁 I completely understand the letting go, or letting someone else take the reins. I am very much like that when it come to people (my kids, D’s parents) and our pets. I have been entrusted with their care and even though I know I don’t have to do it all, I have to do it, its my job, it’s part of who I am.
I hope all the results were good today and that you were able to de-stress
I understand all too well, so yes it makes sense. I’ve been trying to “let go” of situations myself over the years. Sometimes I succeed, other times I don’t. It’s all a process. Congrats on your success!
Maggie my heart goes out to all of you! We have fingers and paws crossed with prayers up for Emmett! ?
Update on results, yet?
Keeping fingers crossed for best possible scenario.
LOVE that boy!
Wish I could hug him; seeing his photos makes me smile, but miss Cole every time I see his sweet face.
Love to Emmett and you all.
Cripes. I keep meaning to come back here to post an update. This week has been one of those train wreck weeks where it’s just about impossible to get back on track. My weekend is going to be all things BLOG! Especially responding to comments.
Here’s the gist: VERY good news about his staging. The nodules on his liver are static. No change means no progression of disease. Monumental relief. The troubling part is the course of treatment to continue from here after the issue with his platelets the past couple months. Basically, there are two options, each one has an associated risk. I’m hoping our local vet can help shed some light, though we may have made up our minds. I’ll write it all up this weekend. Thanks for your patience and your kind words, everyone! We are so grateful!
I really hope you got a good results!!! You are doing a very good job!!! Keep updating us.
We went through a similar thing, with Colorado State Vet School as our destination. I occasionally stayed home while my husband went through exactly the kind of day that you described, and I never really learned to let go. I understand completely what you mean about needing to try to feel in control in a situation where you actually have no control.
I truly hope that you got good news today and are now relaxing.
As my own dog has been growing older, I often stop and think about when we will have to let go, even though it’s many years down the road… Thanks for capturing some of these thoughts, best of luck to you and Emmett!
Best of luck to you and Emmet, been there a couple of times with my boys.