Let’s say you’re at school hanging out on the playground. Another kid has some pieces of candy that you really want. You have two possible courses of action: Shove the kid over and snatch a piece, or ask him nicely if he’d be willing to share. The outcome in both instances is the same. You end up with a piece of candy. But in one, you’re a jerk, and in the other, you’re a friend.
Which one do you want to be?
OK, yes, there’s no question that that scenario is a gross oversimplification, but when you compare modes of dog training… it’s not too far off. I want my dog to sit. I can ask him nicely–through positive training techniques like luring or shaping–or I can shove his butt on the ground. In both cases, he sits. Mission accomplished. But in one, I’m a jerk, and in the other, I’m a friend.
That’s kind of how I think of it, and I’d always rather be a friend.
To me, that’s the gift of positive dog training. You have the opportunity to teach–and, thus, spread–kindness.
(Obvi, this pic is from over the summer. I snapped it after a round of Recall Relay, his favorite backyard training game. He looks so stinking happy in this pic that I thought it was the perfect representation of this topic!)
For dogs like Cooper, that’s particularly important. He’s a smidge neurotic, and what he’s totally fine with one day (nail clipping is nbd, yo!) he decides is terrifying the next (omg, get those clippers away from me, you devil you!) without warning. I need to work at his pace and accommodate his neuroses, and if I were the jerk, shoving him and pushing him and forcing him to do things that truly terrified him even if they make no sense to me whatsoever, maybe I’d get the same outcome but our relationship would suffer.
I’m not working against him.
I’m not pushing him or forcing him to do anything. With positive training, we work together. We’re building a partnership. He trusts me. He knows that if he’s scared, he can count on me to be there with kindness and, OK maybe not understanding (I mean, we clipped his nails for YEARS with the same clippers and never once cut the quick or anything negative, but now it’s terrifying?! huh?), but at least with gentleness and gratitude for his willingness to work with me.
Yes, sometimes he feels uncomfortable. Once we’re totally comfortable at one step, he has to go to the next step. That’s how it works. But by being kind, by being his friend, he trusts me to guide him to the other side of that discomfort, and he knows that when he gets there, I’m going to throw him one hell of a treat party!
This post in part of the Positive Pet Training blog hop, and this month’s prompt was “the gift of positive training.” Honestly, there are many gifts: that moment when you see the lightbulb flare to life in your pup’s head, that moment when something he was scared of becomes nbd, that moment when your tired-from-working-hard dog crawls onto your lap for a big snuggle. All that, to me, comes from the kindness inherent in positive pet training.
And that’s a gift that Cooper and I can keep on re-gifting to one another for the life of our partnership.
This month, thanks to the generosity of the blog hop hosts, there’s a positive pet training GIVEAWAY! Woop! You can enter to win two puzzle toys, a selection of treats, and a trick training book (it’s the same one Coop and I use).
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Thank you to our hosts, Tenacious Little Terrier and Rubicon Days, for making this possible!
Rom is afraid of the basement steps….any basement steps. So every week – when I am up and down doing laundry all day – I call him over to check it out….he comes slowly – head low – step by step – then turns around runs to the toys and grabs one – we do it all over again….every week…..I think it is getting better – such a little weirdo! Truman can go up and down all day – Linc went in the basement in the past – but won’t have it now…I wonder what triggers in their little head that something is fine – then all of a sudden is not….
It sounds like you have such a great plan and routine in place. I honestly don’t know what changes things like that… they know but won’t tell! 😉 It sounds like Rom is making great progress. There were so many instances with Lucas where I felt like we were only making slow, incremental, tiny baby steps, then all of a sudden, he’d just “get” it. The lightbulb would go off, and it would be like there was never a problem. I don’t get the triggers, but I live for those lightbulb moments! 🙂
Kenji has great structure and routine. I heard that Samoyed’s can get destructive when bored, but with positive training, he knows our schedule and is perfect!
That’s wonderful, Scott! Routine is SO important, I think. These guys certainly thrive when they know what to expect. Keep up the good work, and please do share Kenji’s progress! 🙂
Totally agree! This concept works on people too!
YES! Always, always be kind! Thank you for making that point! 🙂
Cash is scared of so many things, the basement stairs, the doggy gate, the ice maker in the freezer (when it makes noise), the hot tub when it kicks on etc. The noise makers didn’t always frighten him, and they don’t always frighten him either, just sometimes when he’s in a mood. He can stay away from the hot tub, and he stays away from the kitchen when the ice maker is making its clicking noise, I just feel so bad for him. He lays on his bed staring at the fridge, shaking and occasionally whining. I get him to come cuddle on the couch, under the blankie with me and that makes the bad noise not so scary but how sad is that? The only fear that we have had success with treats is the doggy gate, I can get him to approach it to take a treat off the gate after coaxing him with treats getting closer and closer to it but every time we put it up somewhere, the noise it makes , makes him fearful of it all over again *sigh* baby steps, two steps forward, one step back. It’s definitely a process.
Dear, sweet Cash. I love that boy! You totally hit the nail on the head… baby steps. Sometimes I get SO frustrated with Cooper because COME ON! We had it! But… whatever is in his head is 100% real to him, and that’s what I have to work with. It can be difficult, but like you said… two steps forward, one step back… is still progress!
Kindness is a gift to us all. I wouldn’t learn without it and neither would my dogs. I still can’t keep Zari from running across my face when I’m lying comfortably in my bed if she hears something out the window but we’re good!
I completely agree! (And that’s a really funny visual!!) 🙂
Clearly, Cooper was having a blast!
Cooper LOVES to work. And run. But running’s work. So, Cooper loves to work.
I LOVE your metaphor – it’s perfect. Luke is so much like Cooper. He was always timid about having his nails trimmed, and I had used your peanut butter plate method. It worked great, until one day it didn’t. While things like that can be extremely frustrating, it is equally rewarding to take things at their pace and see it work. The bond it creates is incredible!
They ARE so much alike! It cracks me up when I read your Luke stories because I can just imagine Cooper in the exact same scenario. Goofy boys. But like you said… it’s frustrating but so, so rewarding. That moment when it comes together? Priceless! Largely because I know they share our joy in those victories!
Jo is a handful – but she is such a happy dog. I love seeing her make decisions – preferably the right decisions – and to see her trust in me. I believe that our continued efforts with positive training have made our relationship better, and her life a blissful one. 🙂
That’s beautiful, Christina! What an incredible relationship you and Jo have. So, so happy you’re living that blissful life together! 🙂
Positive training is always the way to go!
Totally agree! 😀
Teaching a dog with positive training is so very gratifying. There is no reason to not use positive training, show them the right way, let them make the choices and they will learn and you will bond even more.
I love that point! I think people who haven’t really partnered with a dog before don’t realize just how capable they are of making their own choices (and often the right ones!). It’s so empowering for the relationship when there’s that level of trust. Thank you for making that point!
This is beautifully written! Thank you for sharing. I love that happy picture!
Thank you for the kind words, Beth!
My rescue pitbull/mix is food motivated and fearful of a few things. Thank goodness I can use food to get her over some of her fears, unfortunately I am still carrying this 61 pound dog to the car, and at my age that is no small feat!!! We celebrate all the milestones though. With the positive training, including food and much praise we are both happier and her trust level is high.
You’re amazing! But I know there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for her! 🙂 I’m SO happy you celebrate the milestones. I think many of us (myself totally included) are guilty of always moving the bar… set this goal, get close to achieving it, decide it’s not enough, push it further. Cooper in particular reminds me to praise those victories before moving the bar. Thank you so, so much for sharing that point and your experience!
With our dog, an Australian Shepard, she has a large amount of never ending energy!!! If we do not keep her entertained, through play, treats, toys or more, she will entertain herself. (This means she decides to eat the kitchen cabinets or chew on the blinds!) So to help keep her energy focused we play hide and seek! It is amazing watching her train this way. We have her hold a sit, and then hide her toy somewhere in the house. Once we let her go she will search until she finds it! It truly is a gift, getting to watch your dog connect the dots.
So fun!! Love that game! Thanks for sharing that, Rebecca! I hope others read about your game and try it with their pup! So fun!
Absolutely agree! I don’t know why anyone would prefer an obedient, scared dog to a slightly mischievous, happy dog. I say, let dogs be dogs! But that’s just me.
And me, too! I love when they’re a bit naughty! It shows they’re thinking! 🙂
Yes, I’d rather have a friendly relationship too. Isn’t it great to see that lightbulb going off in their heads? Thanks for joining the hop!
Thank YOU for hosting!!! Such fun!
All of this! True, true, true. I also like that positive training teaches dogs to LOVE learning.
I like your description of choosing to be a friend. What a lovely and simple way to sum it all up!
we bring treats on our walks so that we don’t have any slip ups of barking at other dogs! she knows she gets a treat when she is a good girl!