This is sort of a reverse classified ad. We’re not looking for a dog to hire. We’re looking for a company to hire our dog.
Such a sweet face. It belies the truth…
Cooper is the most destructive dog ever. Not, like, compared to his brothers. Compared to all dogs. Thankfully, he outgrew turning that destructive energy onto things around the house and, instead, laser-focused on destroying toys.
He thinks it’s his job to take a toy and shred it to pieces as quickly as possible. And he does. He shreds every single toy as soon as you hand it to him, even any toy labeled as “indestructible.” Which is why I’m hoping a dog toy company wants to hire The Most Destructive Dog to be their official toy tester! 🙂
What makes him a good candidate for the job?
Well, for one thing, he ripped apart not one but two Zogoflex toys. In 2011, at just under a year old, he shredded an entire Kong. In fact, he served as product tester that year for three “puppy” products that were sent our way. None made it past a single afternoon.
Tennis balls are skinned and the rubber broken into chunks in mere minutes.
These Kong balls stood up better than most. Well, the orange one did. The purple he dispatched immediately because it had a long seam down one side. The reason the orange one lasted? He liked carrying it around. At least for a day. Then he decided to remove the internal tennis ball, which lasted about as long as the ball in the above pic.
Et tu, rope toy?
Emmett loves stuffed toys. Loves ’em. Especially hedgehogs. But we have to hide his toys and only let them play when Cooper’s at doggy daycare, or else they get shredded. Heck, he can shred two at once.
The boy loves his toys. For two seconds. Then they must die.
We’ve purchased all the innovations, too: multi-layered reinforced seams, firehoses, seatbelts, kevlar, all of it. Nothing lasts.
So, I think a toy company should hire Cooper! He can put your toys through the wringer and those that pass – which, so far, we haven’t encountered a passing toy – will get a “Cooper Proof” seal of approval!
Any takers? He works for cheap!
Are your dogs toy destroyers like Cooper? Or can they hang onto one favorite, like Emmett’s stuffed hedgehog, for a long time? Do you collect buckets of squeakers and stuffing to re-purpose like I do?
Well, I would find it hard to believe that Cooper could destroy a toy faster than Scout! Scout might win just because she’s bigger. No toy, even the Kong or the so-called “indestructible” toys have a chance with her. We could do a destruction olympics – lol.
Destruction Olympics! HA! We totally should! 🙂
Daisy is a toy-destroyer like Cooper. Most of the time. Every once in a while though, she just cuddles whatever it is. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. She got some stuffed boxing gloves connected by a rope — thanks BarkBox! — and destroyed ONE of the gloves. She sleeps on the other one like a pillow. Hedgehog with five squeakers? Completely intact. Snake with five squeakers? Has spent as much time as allowed systematically destroying it, piece by piece. It. Makes. No. Sense.
That is SO funny. I wonder what it is that distinguishes a cuddler from a destroyer? Don’t you wish you could know what was going on in her head?! That’s so cute regardless!
Hershey is a stuffed toy destroyer. Some of the things that have qualified as “stuffed toys” have been: pillows, dog beds, cat beds, blankets, and actual stuffed toys. Leather (such as shoes, wallets, belts and baseballs) is for eating. The couches (also leather) are just for licking (so far.)
The toys that last the longest in her presence are rope toys and stuffingless cloth toys. It took her about two years to chew a four foot rope toy into two 24 inch rope toys. The stuffingless toys would last longer if she didn’t gnaw the faces off first thing and extract the squeaker.
Marsha is a terror to unmonitored cardboard boxes and cat scratchers. Graham, poor Graham usually has toys stolen from him by Hershey before he gets a chance to badly damage anything.
Thank goodness the couches are just for licking… 😉
my Molly is the same way and my other dog Kanga is the same as Emmett. As soon as any toy, especially one with a squeaker, crosses the threshold of our house Molly destroys it.
We are “heavy chewers” for barkbox and I think we have made our way through all their rubber toys because recently they have been sending plush toys, which have to get hidden until Molly is at agility.
YES! SQUEAKERS! Cooper hears one and it triggers some “must destroy” reflex. I love that you hide the toys, too. Cooper’s at daycare today, so Emmett’s busily squeaking away on his hedgehog under my desk! 🙂
We think he should be a toy tester fur sure!
Your Pals,
Murphy & Stanley
Thanks for your support, guys! 🙂
Every one of mine are destroyers!! Rom is carrying around a Santa face as I type this. Not a Santa…. Or a Santa head…just his face:)
Bwahahahaah!!!!
Ray finds toys to be a fabulous challenge. Zogoflex toys last about 24 hours now, which is nice. It’s as if he seeks the “chink in the armor” and once discovered proceeds to beat all previous toy deathing times.
Julius is a de-stuffer but he does not destroy chew toys like Ray does. Ray actually once was a toy tester as well, but I don’t think they toys rose to the challenge and Mr. Destructo was dropped like a hot potato.
It’s all about that chink in the armor, isn’t it? Any little seam or thread or stitched-up part is the open door to destruction. Funny that Julius de-stuffs but doesn’t destroy. I wonder what the motivation is?
When growing up, my dad always preached: if you are going to do a job, do it right or don’t do it at all. Clearly this is Cooper’s philosophy! He’s not destroying, he’s accomplishing!
HA!!! Tracey, that totally made me laugh. Yep. From now on I’ll focus on his track record of productivity rather than destruction. 😉
Cooper looks so sweet and innocent. It looks like they just need to make more durable toys for dogs like him!
That sweet and innocent look is his saving grace! 🙂
If Cooper gets hired, could Sheba and Luke be his assistants? There are a few things that survive them….some of the Zogoflex toys. Kongs can survive but that’s only because they don’t play with them much.
I used to feel the worst for our golden retriever Moses. He loved stuffed toys and inevitably Sheba would steal them from him and destroy them. Now she and Luke have a system….she starts it and he finishes it off.
For some reason I keep buying them toys though. I just want them to have fun with them, and I always think the next one will be the one that is really indestructible. The thing is that I think the destruction is the joyful part for them, because if we do find an indestructible one, they just won’t play with it as much.
I think the three of them could team up. Start a company. Make us a mint. 😉
Cooper is such a cute dog! great pictures!
Thank you, Carrie!!
We are always telling Rita she needs to start earning her keep around here! 😉
LOVE the look on his face in that tennis-ball scalping shot. So cute! Rita is pretty good about not destroying her toys. Every once in a while, she’ll tear a squeaker out, but once the squeaker is gone, she doesn’t feel the need to do a fluffectomy (like our last dog always did. Man, she was a destroyer!).
Does she keep playing with it once the squeaker is gone? Emmett seems to lose all interest in his stuffies when the squeaker is ripped out (usually by his brother), so then we just let Cooper finish the job at that point…
Hahahaha! I would love to find truly “tough” toys as well.
I imagine it’s hard to find durable toys for your crew!! We always joke that Cooper just needs a tire in the backyard to chew on… maybe that would work for yours, too! 🙂
That’s insane that he went through Zogoflex toys – those are the only ones I’ve found that my dog can’t destroy. I really do think toy companies should take you up on this offer, if a toy can stand up to Cooper I think that toy can stand up to any of our dogs 🙂
That’s what I’m thinking! It would be like the Good Housekeeping Seal but for dog toys 🙂
Mine go in spurts. They can have a toy for an extremely long time and then poof, it’s destroyed. Then other times, the minute you hand it over, it is desqueaked and destuffed.
Who knows, maybe someone will hire him.
I wonder what’s going through their heads? Why are some labeled “For Immediate Destruction” while others last? If only we could get in their heads!