I’m starting to feel like we need to rent an apartment in West Lafayette.
Both Emmett and Lucas have appointments today, and I’m very grateful we were able to coordinate for them to go together. It’s usually a 10- to 12-hour door-to-door day, and Emmett was originally scheduled for next week – so two of those long days in two weeks. Yikes! Thankfully, they were flexible and Emmett got in today.
I’m also hoping that since they’ll be seeing the same oncologist, Emmett can help Lucas feel calmer. Though that didn’t work in the car ride up this morning, when Em slept the entire way (of course) and Lucas panted the entire way. (Sorry it’s blurry – hard to get a good shot in a moving car. And don’t worry! John was driving!)
So, Purdue. Here’s the thing about a teaching hospital: You very rarely see the same person from appointment to appointment. The residents rotate through the different departments, so today was the third doctor Emmett’s seen so far and the second Lukey’s seen. Check-in takes a while because you have to go through all the case details anew. Luckily, this time the big boys are able to be together for most of the day in between tests.
Emmett is having his blood work, chest x-rays, and ultrasound. That’ll be it for him unless they find any new masses or his spleen masses have changed, at which point they’d sedate him to do a fine-needle aspirate. Lucas is getting blood work done first, and then he’ll get his chemo infusion. His platelets have been low on his weekly blood work, and he’s lost a few pounds, so they may end up adjusting his dose this time. We won’t know for a couple hours, though, because they have to get the blood test back to make a decision first.
Whew.
I promise to write a whole post about the chemo situation and Emmett’s status, but today I’m preoccupied with an unexpected… situation… a conundrum, really…
This guy.
When we got this appointment for the bigs lined up, the first thing I did was book Cooper at doggy daycare for the day. We’re going to be gone the entire day, so daycare makes the most sense. But the daycare closes at 7 pm, and there have been times when I haven’t gotten back from Purdue until 7:30 or even a bit later. We usually know by around 3:30 if they’re going to be past 5 – getting us home after daycare closes at 7 – and our very sweet next door neighbors, Cady’s people, offered to pick Coop up and drop him at home. It’s a huge relief knowing we have that backup plan in case today goes longer than anticipated.
But.
All of this made us realize a striking, startling fact: In his 4.5 years with us, Cooper has never – never – been home by himself. Not once. If Em is at the vet, he’s home with Lucas and vice versa. Heck, on the rare occasions when both big boys were somewhere together, it was usually with John or I – never both of us – so the other was home with Cooper.
And, I suppose the reality of our current situation – Emmett with hemangiosarcoma, Lucas with osteosarcoma – is that Cooper needs to learn how to be by himself.
This is one of those things, you guys. It feels heavy, and if I start to dig down and really think it through – Cooper being home alone in the quiet, Cooper playing alone in the yard – it’s more than I can deal with while both big boys are currently in oncology. So, I’m going to take my usual tactic and focus on a plan. Steps. Action.
Anyway, that’s the current preoccupation: What is the best way to “train” Cooper to be comfortable alone?
We still have a couple hours until our first update from the vet, so I’ll be thinking through that plan in the meantime. I’d love any ideas or suggestions you brilliant dog-savvy folks might have. Otherwise, here’s hoping you’re all having a great week! I’ll post an update (either on FB or IG) as soon as we have one!
I wondered where the Coop would be in all this. *hugs* to you in all this, because it’s got to be the hardest thing. I think the best thing you can do is make “alone” normal and restful. Kongs are great for this, especially if you can get Coop to enjoy one that’s frozen hard and takes an hour or so to unpack. (Kong should pay me for all the advertising I do, I swear.) He’ll want a nap after all that work. And, of course, leaving him alone more often. Short times and long times, so that it’s totally normal. And tape him, if it’s possible. See what he’s doing. What makes him comfortable vs. upset. Also, consider making the space he is allowed to inhabit pretty small at first and then growing the space. We’ve had to get Daisy VERY used to being alone and it was really hard for everyone involved. Good luck to you!
Such excellent suggestions, Amanda. Thank you! I think you’re onto exactly what we need to do… stuff some Kongs, freeze ’em, then maybe walk the big boys around the block so he has a few minutes alone. Slowly work up to greater lengths of time. Thank you so much for sharing your experience!!
Justice whimpers if he is left alone for any period of time. I leave the TV on for him. He is always in the crate when he is alone, which I think is more comforting that being out in the house alone.
Hmm… Maybe we should start getting him reacquainted with his crate… something to think about for sure! The TV is a great idea. Drown out the silence! Thanks, Kathy!!
My two suggestions probably aren’t feasible: 1. Take Coop with you to the vets. 2. Get another dog so he has a playmate.
Not gonna lie… both of those have crossed my mind. 😉
Maggie this problem is SO easily solved! I would love nothing more than hang out with Cooper and spend some special time with the little man. I can even pick him up from daycare. PLEASE just say the word and it would make me so happy to do this for you guys and to be able to play with the Coop.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! 😀
I totally understand how ‘wrong’ this feels.. 🙁
My 2nd dog has never been left home alone, and I don’t know what I’d do, either.I always take him when his sister goes to the Dr,, although she is fine alone. He’s just scared of EVERYTHING, and I’m afraid he’d, literally, have a heart attack, if he stayed alone in the house. Seeing how this situation could go wrong for us, also, I think I will start alone training for my boy, sooner rather than later. Does Cooper like the cat? Would he consider her company enough?How about someone who could pick him up from daycare & just keep him until you get home?
It isn’t fair at all that the well dog winds up being the source of yet more stress, just by BEING..
YIKES!
Poor Cooper. Poor Lucas & poor Emmett.
Best wishes to ALL of you.
I am praying for good test results on everyone..
Thank you SO much for sharing, Leslie. I know you completely understand! I’m wondering if Cooper will think of Newt as “enough” company to not feel home alone? I guess we’ll see. We’re going to start working on this incrementally, so I’ll let you know if that works!
I think you’ve got some excellent suggestions here. Maybe putting him in his crate with a KONG at first, just to be sure he won’t be destructive or upset. Once you know he is comfortable with that, leave the door to the crate open and progress from there. It may take some time, but you’ll get there.
Sampson has taken to going downstairs and staying with my mom so Delilah is by herself during the day. She has never been bothered by being alone. Sampson was never really bothered by being alone either, but he will whine and bark like a brat if I take Delilah for a walk without him (unless someone is home with him.)
First of all, I hope you get good news from the vet visits and tests.
Your other problem reminds me of when we had two dogs, Maggie and Kobi, and Maggie was tragically hit and killed by a car. Honestly, we were new at having dogs and never realized how difficult it would be for Kobi to be left home alone (we thought the several cats we had would be enough, but they were not). Kobi was completely stressed when we left him alone, and we could not continue to do so.
It was ironic that our solution was for our elderly neighbors to care for him, since they were the ones caring for Maggie when she died. But it was our only solution, and it worked out fine until we were able to find another companion for Kobi (Cricket). I hope that the comment I saw from Ann above will be your solution too.
So many great suggestions, I think Ann is so wonderful to offer to help with Cooper. When our neighbours (the frenchies) have long work days, I pop over to let them out for a pee and a play. They are crated when their people are not home, it works for them, they feel better knowing the pups can’t get into any mischief. Sometimes they come over to have a run around with Cash, other times I just spend some time there hanging out in their yard or watching tv while the dogs spend some time out of their crates.
I think I remember Cooper being a little like Cash in his younger days, managing to get out of a locked crate? When we leave the house we used to crate Cash, we started leaving him out of his crate for short periods of time until we felt comfortable enough to leave him out for a full work day. Cash is left at home alone from about 8-4pm, (April-June and September-December). We do section off some parts of the house just to be sure he doesn’t get into any trouble. We close the laundry room door (Cash loves to chew on laundry) the rabbits room (just in case he thought he’d like a rabbit snack) the kids rooms (because they usually have laundry on the floor) and the bathrooms (because he loves to eat tissue paper)
So we noticed that Cash would sleep in the family room either on the couch or his bed or upstairs on our bed. We can tell where he’s been because you can find my slipper where he’s been sleeping. I don’t know when exactly he started grabbing my slipper to cuddle with but he does it and it must make him feel like he has his mommy close. I just make sure my slippers are not in the no access zones before I leave the house. It’s funny how quickly they learn the routine, Cash knows when I’m getting close to leaving the house so I’ll often catch him with my slipper on his mouth heading to claim his comfy spot.
I’m sure Lucas or Ems dog beds would comfort Cooper when they are away for the day or maybe something mom or dad scented would work. Hope the schedule works out with Ann’s and the little guy doesn’t have to spend too much time on his own. We worry so much and feel guilty about leaving them alone but they are usually fine, happy to spend the day curled up sleeping.