It’s pointless to complain about life being unfair. It is the simple, unrelenting truth about life.
Over the past few days, Lucas developed a small limp on his front left leg. Lucas limps often because his back hips are so bad, so it was noteworthy that this was on the front. Of course, he had been to doggy daycare, so I assumed an injury. Yesterday he could barely walk and his ankle was swollen. I iced it and called the vet.
They got him in first thing this morning.
First of all, he behaved impeccably. The dog who, early on, would require a separate entrance to the vet sailed through the wait in the lobby, the exam, and then the x-rays. My heart was bursting with pride.
But as soon as the vet opened the door, I knew.
My big baby, the big yellow dog who stole my heart the moment our eyes locked all those years ago, has cancer.
Osteosarcoma.
His leg is spider-webbed. He must’ve been in pain for so long but only just started to show me.
I am shattered.
We’re waiting to hear from the oncologist at Purdue. They’ll do a full-body scan to determine if/how much it’s spread. If it hasn’t, they may be able to amputate his leg. If it has, his prognosis is grim. We won’t know until then, though.
The crazy thing is that there are still all these normal things I need to do: run to pick up his medicine, finish work deadlines, go to Chicago for Pinups for Pitbulls, walk Cooper, wash the dishes, and on and on. But, for now, I’m just sitting on the floor with my babies. The stress of the vet took it out of him, and Lucas is zonked, snoring away peacefully.
I’m going to take a break from blogging. If I miss replying to comments or updating or reading your blog, please forgive me for at least a short while. I’m not sure how to maintain normalcy right now, so I’m not going to. I promise to update when we know more – I suspect we won’t be able to get him into Purdue until next week, so it might not be before then.
All I keep thinking is how to handle two dogs with terminal cancer. I’m not sure I can. At least not now.
Oh, kid. Our hearts are with you.
I am so glad that Luke has you because it is where he is meant to be. No matte what remember that. It was God’s plan.
Thank you for taking such wonderful care of your four legged babies.
Stella Rose and Momma
🙁 I can’t imagine, so I won’t try. My heart is with you.
I am so sorry for you and Lucas! I hope for the best possible outcome for you all! He could not be more loved and more lucky to have parents like you guys! Lots of love and the best well wishes for you all!
Oh, my dear friend. My heart just broke. I am so sorry to hear this news. I’m sending hugs, and Henry sends puppy kisses. XOXO
I am so sorry…hugs! We’re hoping for the best! <3
Dreadful news for any pet owner, but two at once is quite an overload. We are here for you. Sending positive energy and hugs!!! xoxoxoxo
Hugs and prayers for all of you!!
*hugs* I am so sorry. I’ve lost two dogs in the past three months, so I know how hard it is to be caring and loving and knowing that time may be short. Love and light to all of you!
🙁 So sorry to hear this news.
My heart aches for Lucas and your entire family. I can’t even begin to imagine what your heart feels. But, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Prayers, thoughts, peace and love coming your way from all of us
I’m so sorry. I wish I had more words that could comfort you and make things better. Please know you are in our thoughts and prayers and we’re hoping for the best for Lucas.
I am really so sorry to hear about Lucas’s medical problems. Sometimes I think that these animals that were put here on this planet only to see how sad we can become when we loose them. but all hope is not gone for Lucas yet, just love him the best you can, all will alright in the end.
I am so sorry for this news. Words are not adequate. Hoping for the best possible outcome.
I’m new to your blog and just saw this post on FB. Words can’t begin to describe my sadness for you. So just know that a new reader is praying for you and Lucas. And sending positive, healing energy.
Oh no, I am so so sorry. Hoping for all the best for Lucas.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ll keep Lucas in my prayers while we wait to find out what they have to say at Purdue. Good thoughts, Maggie. Keep thinking them.
Oh my god, Maggie, I am so sorry to hear this. My eyes just filled with tears as I was reading. I had just read your yesterday’s post and was going to head to FB for news when I realized you had another post up. I know, this is life, but it’s still not fair. Please know that all my thoughts, prayers, and healing wishes are with Lucas. I hope you can get the best news possible, as soon as possible. I’ll be thinking of you and the whole family.
I am so sorry, Maggie. I am sending tons of prayers in yours and Lucas’ direction – I so hope it has not spread. Please know that we are all here for you.
Oh Maggie, I’m so sorry – I know that diagnosis is a punch in the gut. Lucas is strong though, so have faith. We’ll be thinking and praying for you all.
I was just starting to read the blog and I come to learn that not only Lucas has OSA, but one of your other pooches has cancer as well. I am so sorry. I know how difficult this is. My girl Sasha lived with OSA for a little over two years. I would highly recommend your vet doing X-rays right away, not next week, and schedule for amputation. At the very least, amputation provides immediate pain relief, and can earn him an average of up to 6 months. We learned the diagnosis on March 6, 2012 around 11 am. By the time we picked our girl up from the vet, we knew amputation was the next step and scheduled her for the following week. If you amputate, see if you can learn what cancer gene she has, this is what will determine longevity. Sasha was her2neu positive which is a very aggressive gene. I will be thinking of you and your pooches, and I hope you can keep us updated on how they are doing. If I can be of any help, please reach out. Sending hugs and love to you, the pups, and your family.
(((Maggie, John, Emmet, Lucas, Cooper, Newt)))
Such awful news. Wishing you strength in the difficult time ahead, we keep you in our hearts.
Oh Maggie, I’m so sorry. I will be thinking all the good thoughts for you guys. We lost Lenny to cancer last month at age 3. It was/is the worst, but I have found so much comfort in knowing that she had the best damn life with us, and I would do nothing differently with/for her if I could do it again. Your guys are so, so lucky to have you. Someone said to me that Lenny never suffered anywhere near as much as we did when we found out – and I’m sure the same is true for your boys. Thinking of you all.
I stared at this post for ten minutes. I want to get in the car and drive to you and hug you and help you do all the things you have to do, or better yet do them so you can sit with your fur-kids, since I know that is all you want to do. This just feels so incomprehensible and unfair. I don’t have any great insight on how to get through, but I know we somehow do, and I think it’s due to all the love. All the crazy love. I am here if you need to chat or scream or sit in silence over the phone. Sending you so much love right now.
Oh, I’m so so sorry. Our dog had OSA and we had her front leg amputated and we had another 15 amazing months with her. I hope the cancer won’t have spread yet so that you can have some more time with your beautiful boy. Life is most definitely not fair. I swear, it’s alway the sweetest dogs and people who get cancer. It’s just not fair. If I can help in anyway with my OSA experience let me know.
So sorry. Take all the time you need for yourself, Lucas and the family. Much positive energy thoughts for Lucas.
I am so sorry to hear this. You must be in shock. I’ll wonder how it is going for you guys for sure but want you to take all of the time you need away from stuff like this to spend it with your pups and family.
Oh, dear God…please help Lucas be comfortable and give Maggie some peace. And if it’s all the same, send her a miracle. *sigh* One day at a time, dear. My thoughts are with you and your furry babies.
I KNOW THE HURT IN YOUR HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My Lilly was diagnosed with cancer 6 weeks ago. We are doing lots of things. She has already had surgery to remove a tumor, but she has more malignant tumors. Maggie, I am seriously trying herbs and vitamins that shrink tumors. Search the internet, too many to list here. Also read Suzanne Summers Book KNOCKOUT, she interviews well known doctors who have very successfully treated cancer in their human patients, who are 15 and 20 years later still alive. One big thing I am trying is PANCREATIC ENZYMES for Lilly. Suzanne was diagnosed twice with cancer and never had chemo. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! SO I AM TRYING ANYTHING. I am broken inside just like you. Read on the internet Dr.Nicholas Gonzalez, he is interviewed in her book. I am praying for a good outcome for Lucas.
My heart is with you.
It’s hard to deal with medical problems with people or dogs. All your dogs enjoy a wonderful life with you and your husband. That’s the best thing you can provide for them.
I have a blog which I am telling my daily life. My name is Mocha and I am a golden retriever. Please take a place for me in your blog.
My heart goes out to you as i had two dogs that were litter mates that both had cancer. It was very hard but I loved them so much and I think about them frequently, remembering the good times they gave me.
Maggie, my heart aches for you, Lucas, Emmett and your whole family. I know it must seen like the hurts are ganging up on you right now.
In 1995, my sister, Lori, had her husband in the hospital with Leukemia, waiting for a bone marrow doner to be found, and our Mom was taken to the SAME hospital with a brain tumor. She divided her time between her husband and her Mother,l while one of our brothers stayed with her four kids.
I asked her how she could possibly be so cheerful and kind to the hospital staff and how she kept her faith in light of such hardship. She said that this quote from Mother Teresa gave her strength and peace to know God loved her so much. I have taken this quote to heart and it has sustained me when I thought I could not bear one more heartbreak.
“I know God will never give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”
It seems obvious to me that God loves you AND your furkids very much. He sent them to be loved and cared for by you, Maggie, for their whole lives, knowing that you would find the gift of joy in their lives to offset the burden of sorrow in their loss. Not everyone can be entrusted with the trials that you have already suvived. Who better to understand the needs of these sweet boys than you?.
Who else could ever love them as much as you do? Would you rather have never had them at all?
I think I know your answer to that.
I am so sorry that you have to deal with this current health crisis.
I know you must feel that “Why Me?” when you look at Lucas and Emmett, just as you felt it when you looked in the mirror when you, yourself, were ill.
The reason is because YOU are strong enough to survive this; and not everyone else is.
I don’t believe that anything in life is random. Every circumstance in your life has required YOU: ; your patience; your courage; your expertise; your uncoinditional love.
This life that you have was chosen for you: your husband, your animals, the joy and the sorrow because you can handle anything.
The gift of your life touches everyone you meet and we are all the better for it.
You are an amazing person and you are surrounded by light and love.
What you survive only makes you stronger; your family is so lucky to have you.
You are all in my prayers.
There are no words other than I’m so sorry. 🙁 My thoughts are with you and your family!
Handling two dogs with cancer… Ugh. Fortunately, dogs are the best patients. They will love you and not complain, and will trust you and allow you to take care of them as best you can. And you will do that because that’s what’s in your heart. It will be a testament to the relationship between dog and man, man and dog, and to the relationship you’ve built with your dogs over time. Best to all.