Today I’m writing about Responsible Pet Owners Month as part of the Positive Pet Training Blog Hop hosted by Rubicon Days, Cascadian Nomads, and Tenacious Little Terrier.
When you have a reactive dog, there are inherent responsibilities. Of course, there are tons of responsibilities for even the kindest of souls, but it’s heavier when your dog poses a risk for another person or dog.
A couple years ago, all three dogs were standing at the back door. I was chatting on the phone with my mom. John was out of town. It was a beautiful day, so I let them out and continued my conversation. I heard Lucas start barking. For a few seconds I tuned it out – he barks a lot – but this little flag went up somewhere in my brain. I told my mom to hold on.
I listened.
He was barking – furiously – but it wasn’t in the yard. It was far away.
I dropped the phone and ran outside. Our gate was open.
Now, having Lucas, when we moved here in 2008, we promptly locked the gate and put the keys in the house. Some time later, because of significant erosion, the latches no longer lined up so we secured it with zip ties. On this particular day, I discovered too late that the zip ties had snapped.
All I could see were all three dogs careening down the middle of the road, straight toward a landscaping crew. The three guys were flipping out. I don’t blame them. At all. Here are three HUGE dogs barreling down the road at you? I’d flip out, too! One was brandishing a leaf blower, which was causing Lucas’ barking frenzy.
I yelled and asked the guy to grab at least one of them – he yelled back “NO!” – so I called Emmett, Mr. Reliable, who about-faced and tore back home.
I called Cooper, who hadn’t gotten as far as the other two yet, and he turned around and ran back, but he turned too soon – instead of into our yard, he barreled straight down the line between our fence and the neighbor’s house. I didn’t realize that right away because I was sprinting after Lucas.
My dog-reactive dog. My dog-reactive dog who once attempted to bite a stranger in the very park he was running toward. My dog-reactive, bite-attempting dog who is terrified – TERRIFIED – of noise-making lawn equipment like leaf blowers and mowers and trimmers.
All of which he was running toward, barking his face off.
And then… by some miracle… the Dog Gods were watching over us… he got distracted by something exciting on a porch a couple houses down. Instead of continuing toward the landscapers and toward the park and far, far away from me… he veered… he stopped… he sniffed.
At which point, I said his name in Firm Tone. Called him. He didn’t come. But that distraction gave me just enough time to grab him.
By the time we were heading back – all of this happening in one barf-inducing minute or two – Cooper had realized he ran the wrong way and circled back. I brought Lucas into the yard with the other two. Closed the gate. Called John and told him to buy steel bike locks.
Then, I sat in the grass and cried.
Truly, it took me several hours to fully calm down. My hands shook. My heart pounded. Tears flowed.
And then I realized how miraculous the whole thing was. We live in a dog-heavy neighborhood, a mere block from a park. There are kids, dogs, bikes, walkers, joggers, anybody you can imagine out all the time. There wasn’t a dog to be seen. They were running down the road, and there were no cars.
But what would’ve happened that day if someone HAD been walking a dog past at that moment?
I honestly can’t even think about that. What would’ve happened. It kept me up at night for a long time.
But this whole long story is to say: Being a responsible pet owner is so incredibly important. But no matter how hard you try, no matter how vigilant and diligent you are, accidents happen. I am the person who won’t let Lucas walk into the garage and jump in the car without holding his leash because what if – WHAT IF – a dog is in the alley?
I live my life with Lucas expecting there to be dogs everywhere. Everywhere. I plan relentlessly. He has his harness and his leather buckle collar. We have trained and trained and trained. And when we took all the classes at one facility, we found another and took their classes. We take cheese everywhere. We walk him where we have good lines of sight. He’s improved tremendously – more than I ever hoped for him, really – but despite that improvement, Lucas is still a dog-reactive dog.
And I am responsible for him.
I know this isn’t a helpful post. It’s not useful, and there are no tips or tricks or how-tos for being responsible for a reactive dog. But people with dog-reactive dogs are so hard on themselves. I read posts and articles where people question themselves and their decisions and “what if” situations – just like I did with this one – until you feel so down, despite making progress with your dog!
The bottom line is what I know you all already do: Just do your best. Have the right equipment. Train as much as time and money allow with force-free methods. Skip walks if they’re unsafe. Be grateful for how wonderful your dog is – even if the rest of the world doesn’t get to see it. We all make mistakes. The trick is to try to stay calm, learn what you can, then move on.
And buy saw-proof steel bike locks for your gate.
This is so true, excellent article. Being around rescue dogs I have seen a lot of dogs like this, the sad truth is it usually not the dog’s fault. Bad owners made them how they are. I know this is not true all the time, some dogs just are not people friendly, but it breaks my heart to see a dog labelled as aggressive when it was someone’s hand that made them that way.
You know, I don’t believe Lucas ever had a bad owner. I really think that he was a just a typical street dog and spent his first year fending for his life. He never learned appropriate social cues or how to live in a home, so it took him a very, very long time to overcome his fears of living in a human world. He’s come SO FAR, though, and I believe any dog – whether it’s an abuse situation or bad breeding or environmental factors or whatever – can make strides with positive training!
This comment made me so sad. I have a reactive dog. I have owned him since he is a pup and he is barely 2. Loved him like he was family never harmed him kept him safe. He is anxious fearful and aggressive to other dogs. I have spent 100s of hours training him and working with him to try to make it better. Yet when you see me down the street and he loses his mind on some dog..the thought that goes through your head “bad owner makes a bad dog” is some of what I have to deal with every day on top of trying to deal with a very hard situation.
What a great post Maggie, I remember the original post about the boys getting out of the yard, was it really a couple of years ago already?
I think you were wrong about the post not being helpful, I think it’s very helpful and supportive.
If you’re not someone with a reactive dog it is hard to understand the constant worry that reactive dog owners have unless you read a post like todays. It’s comforting to know other dogs aren’t perfect, just like my dog. Nice to know someone else has a freak out panic attack when the gate accidentally opens, that others are human and make mistakes just like me.
Time sure flies, huh? I really appreciate the kind words. You are SO right… if you’re not the one with the reactive dog, it IS hard to understand. I had someone say, “Why don’t you just tell him NO?” It’s difficult to convey the depth and breadth of their issues to people who are unfamiliar. And, yep! I make zillions of mistakes! Heck, this whole blog could be about my mistakes! But, trying to learn from them is key…
Your post made me cry too… wow. You lived my worst fear. I have only once had all three dogs escape and thankfully I had Jason there to help me regain them all. Brychwyn is very choosy about which dogs he reacts to. The dog he went after was apparently not one he wanted to snap at. The dogs owner was way too nice to me as I apologized for his walk being so frighteningly disrupted by three charging dogs. I guess he knew that I am only human and doing my best. The best you do for a normal dog is keeping them safe but that best is very different from the best you have to do with a reactive dog in keeping others safe. Thank you for sharing your scary lesson learned and for joining the Positive Pet Training Blog Hop this month. I hope you will join us again!
Oh, wow, Bethany. I’m so glad that your incident turned out so well! I love, love this sentence: “The best you do for a normal dog is keeping them safe but that best is very different from the best you have to do with a reactive dog in keeping others safe.” It’s such a profound distinction, and you totally nailed it! (And I absolutely plan to join in again next month! Thank you!)
Ever considered that we look at this issue from the wrong angle? Changing the frame allows us to stop being paralyzed in helplessness. The change is 2 focus on us. Dogs vision is not good and their brains were not designed for modern human life. Restraints/barricades heighten their fight/flight. Combined with poor vision and in a group can put them on the defensive. Dogs are not Stepford wives so expecting them to act uniformly or else is quite an ask considering our diverse behavior and personalities. Imagine if everyone had to be happy go lucky love everybody and all other dogs and,tolerate the,actions of any human? We’d be eliminating a lot of people. So here is the focus switch because the workers actions/attitudes and responses play a huge role in how act. We take reactive dogs way too personally and freak instead if knowing the,easy things 2 do to diffuse the issue. Never ask a stranger to grab your dog as that can be,scary and you’d fight if you thought you were being abducted too. We get way too caught up that dogs are different. Have siblings? Are u all the sake? Same breeding? So why aren’t you exactly alike in behavior and temperament. It,gets a little,silly how,we expect so much of an animal we,wouldn’t expect from ourselves.. I read a comment about bad peoplet making the dog bad. Are you bad? Rescue or not this is actually normal dog variance in the artificial human setting we make them live in. For example do you want every stranger to not only touch u w/out asking you? We expect dogs to want to be molested unexpectedly & without the dog’s permission by strangers or they,are bad dogs. The ideal dog we hold in our minds would not survive well in the,wild and truth is we have killed millions 4 not living up to our,Lassie fantasies. Books and other pros encourage selection and not enough on working hard to go from beginner,advanced beginner,intermediate advanced intermediate, advanced , training level and instructional level. With horses you learn to ride and earn a level of proficiency before u train a horse. With dogs everyone is automatically a dog trainer. So who wants to work hard when u can just make an easy selection? Nearly every thing we,do is not based in being fluent in dog, dogs are easily blamed so society is largely dog blind. Example dogs sniff genital areas when meeting and we stick out,our hand. The stiff body language is offensive and there is Nothing on hands that tell them our sex health status or breeding readiness. So who xame up with that. I easily ask dogs before even thinking of touching and when,asked they tell you yes no ir i need to get to k iw you. How bout we step up a little more to teach society that they can cope with dogs limitations and diffuse situatons and yours was a semi accident ( you knew the gate latch needed fixing but left a temp soLuton to be permanent ) situations. It’s easy if we make it as easy as knowing it’s a bad idea to walk right behind a horse. We don’t kill the,horse or brand it bad we just dont,do it. Want more check out book People Training For Good Dogs what breeders don’t tell you and trainers,don’t teach and like liability fairness for dog owners On Facebook.
I totally get what you’re saying, Melissa, and I think that you’re spot on to an extent. Expecting dogs to behave according to our human definition of what good behavior is, is often misguided. Allowing dogs to be dogs is certainly something that many people could do to improve their relationship with their family pet. But I think your argument about no two siblings being alike sort of contradicts your point. True, no two siblings are alike. Nor are any two dogs. Treating Lucas like I treat Emmett and Cooper would be totally unreasonable. He’s his own unique personality, and the intensity of his fear and his fear-based reactions means that he’s an unsafe dog. He doesn’t get the leeway to sniff genitals, as you pointed out, not because I don’t want him to do that behavior but because he can’t approach a dog safely. After all these years with him, working with various trainers, and dedicating myself to him and his training, I know without a doubt that he does not know how to give or receive appropriate social cues. Patricia McConnell likened this behavior to an autistic child. We’d never expect a teacher NOT to differentiate her classroom to accommodate a child with autism, so I think it’s unfair to generalize about dog behavior and say that all dogs should be given the same license – some dogs, like Lucas, need differentiation just like those kiddos do. It helps him succeed, keeps him safe, and prevents him from causing harm to any other person or dog. My level of responsibility TO and FOR him is vastly different than it is to my other two dogs. Yep, the gate was a huge error, which I learned from. But your implication that we just need “to teach society that they can cope with dogs limitations and diffuse situations” oversimplifies it, I think, to an extent that could cause harm. I suppose that’s where I’m coming from having spent the last eight years caring for my sweet Lucas.
Maggie, the phrase used in elementary education which flitted through my head as I was reading your reply is “least restrictive environment.” There are children in our schools who do well in classes with much more structure and more one on one attention who will fall apart when given more choices in a standard classroom setting. Part of the struggle with such children is getting their parents to recognize this fact. As Lucas’ responsible party you are doing a wonderful job of knowing his limits and working with them!
I’m glad nothing bad happened! Thankfully, Mr. N’s reactivity is on-leash only and his is frustration-based. He wants so badly to go say hi and sniff! Training recall with other dogs around was hard work! And we’re still constantly working on it.
I do worry about running into an off-leash dog who takes affront to Mr. N barking at him though.
It is definitely SO hard to teach recall around other dogs! The competition for attention is stiff! Working on it is perfect, though – all you can really do! I really worry about off-leash dogs, too, but you’ve done such an amazing job with Mr. N. And, unfortunately, we can’t control what other people do with their dogs (wouldn’t that be great, though?!?!)
In the past I’ve used a rattle can to get Hershey’s attention when things get too intense at the dog park. Initially it worked as a way to startle her (fear based, I know, but it worked and kept her safe) but because she always got praise when she minded and also her own, generally goofy, good nature it became more of a “come here and get loves and pets” signal.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s unfortunate that the landscapers probably had no idea what a responsible dog owner you are. I’m so glad that everything worked out all right in the end. 🙂
Thanks, Elaine! I did put myself in their shoes (AFTER I calmed down), and I can totally see why they were terrified 😉
I cannot even imagine, Maggie. My dogs have gotten loose once in the past, because I left the gate open. It was awful, and I did not have to deal with any sort of potential confrontation. I am so sorry this happened to you.
I remember you telling me about that at coffee!! So stressful! Thankfully – in both cases – it turned out in the end!
That’s rough, but I’m glad it all came out OK. I think this post is great. We’ve all made mistakes or had accidents with our dogs escaping, so it’s nice to know that no matter how diligent we all are, these things do happen. We’re all just doing the best we can with our dogs, and it’s reassuring to know we’re not alone in that.
You are so, so right!! I love this point: “We’re all just doing the best we can with our dogs, and it’s reassuring to know we’re not alone in that.” Thank you for making such a great observation – definitely something we should all take to heart.
To this day, my downstairs neighbor tells people that Daisy is vicious and should be put down. I’d told him so many times NOT to pet her, to leave her alone, and even though “all dogs like him”, mine is scared of elderly men. Then one day while my boyfriend was walking her (and he didn’t know that she’s scared of people coming in the dark glass front door) they crossed paths on the front steps. Neighbor leaned down to pet her, and Daisy, who is FINE with some space, grabbed his shirt sleeve. She has never bitten anyone, but does grab and hold loose clothes when she panics. The elderly neighbor insists that she went for his throat and tried to kill him. Now I constantly monitor where he is, since he intentionally baits her so that others will insist I put her down. (Not a joke.) Being responsible for a reactive dog that you know is a Good Dog is hard and stressful and scary sometimes. I feel for you, Maggie, and the fear of watching an animal who has your heart run straight for their most dangerous situation because they can’t help themselves is horrible.
Oh, jeez. Amanda, that’s so awful. I’m really, really sorry you have to deal with that neighbor. Lucas has done that same thing twice – snapped onto someone’s jeans when he felt threatened – and it’s so gut-wrenching. I love what you said: “Being responsible for a reactive dog that you know is a Good Dog is hard and stressful and scary sometimes.” We just love ’em so much, but it can be so hard. I think reactive dogs really redefine the whole “helicopter parent” concept…
I’m so glad this turned out okay for you, although I’m sure it didn’t feel like that at the time.
Delilah can be dog reactive while on leash, but it all just depends on the dog and her mood. She is however a runner, and a food whore and she tends to stick close to houses which concerns me as well. What if someone hurts her? Or she ingests poison or something?
One night shortly after we moved in, I let the dogs outside into the fenced in yard. Sampson had come back in but Delilah hadn’t. I was sitting on the couch when I heard a noise at the front door, I opened it and there was Delilah. Someone had left the gate open. I was so grateful we were in a new area, because she was still just investigating our yard.
A couple of years ago we had a ton of snow. The dogs were outside when my doorbell rang. It was my neighbor. Delilah was in his yard, she had stepped over the fence and gone exploring. Thankfully he knew where she belonged. He said when he approached her she growled at him or he would have brought her back himself.
It’s scary, when our dogs run off, especially when the potential for harm is there.
Ohmygosh!! Having her at the front door! I would’ve had a heart attack, but thank goodness both situations turned out well. It really compounds the stress of a dog slipping out where there’s a potential for a negative reaction or your dog causing harm. It intensifies the situation. I loved Jan’s point above about we all just do the best we can do, and I know for a fact that’s what you’re doing for Delilah!
Whew….so glad everything turned out ok!
We managed to work through most of Ziva’s reactive issues. She’s now in doggy day care which was a HUGE step for us.
She still takes offense to certain dogs but it has improved dramatically, we’ve taken classes, and started agility I work/train with her daily and her recall is spot on.
Dante on the other hand thank goodness he’s friendly, but his training has become lax due to us working so hard on Ziva. His recall is very poor, he’s starting to ignore me when I call which is quite frustrating. And having worked with Ziva’s reactive issues the last thing I want to do is ruin a walk someone else is having by Dante bolting on me to go greet the other dog.
It’s a lot of work, but don’t give up!
YAY for doggy daycare!!! Lucas goes, too! The first time we took him after YEARS of work, I spent the entire day clutching my phone just waiting for The Call. But now he and Cooper go every Monday, and it’s been perfect. Congrats to you and Ziva. Keep us posted on the agility. I think that’s such a great way to build confidence!!
A reactive dog is definitely a whole new level of responsibility. I made a huge error with Ruby the other day, since she is generally great with people coming in the house I picked her up and carried her over to meet the cable guy – she was not friendly and I carried her right back upstairs to stay in my bedroom with Boca. I berated myself for days about that, thinking of what could have happened. It seems like there are always new lessons to be learned, no matter how careful we are. Thank you so much for joining the hop!
Gosh, it’s so easy to be so hard on yourself, isn’t it? I think we’re so mired in the day-to-day of predicting, anticipating, and managing that one little slip-up seems like such a setback. But you have done an INCREDIBLE job with Ruby! I’ve watched your story unfold for longer than I can remember now, and I’m so proud of all that you two have accomplished!!
OMG. I totally relate to this article. We have 2 dogs at our house and one of them has lost her mind. We try everything, but we are now calling a behaviorist to come in and help us because I’m stressing out over her behavior. I am 100% responsible for her crazy erratic behavior and need help. Thank goodness there are other people out there who know how I feel!
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through – I know how stressful it can be. I’m glad to hear you’re working with a behaviorist. It seems overwhelming now, but through our experience we’ve learned that consistent, positive training makes a world of difference. Best of luck!!
Wow Maggie. This really must’ve got your adrenaline going!
I can definitely relate to your incident. We live in NYC and one day I took my dog, Mila (a jack russell terrier and dachshund mix) to the store with me. I let her out of the carriage as we were checking out. For some reason she was pulling on the leash so much that she slid right out of her collar! At this point I was embarrassed because she took off! However, she went near the automatic doors and they opened! She bolted outside onto the sidewalks of NYC! In a state of panic I ran after her calling her name. She thought I was playing with her, but as she ran closer and close to the street I didn’t know what to do. So I called out “Get my dog!” Luckily a kind woman bent down and called Mila toward her. Mila went right to her! I couldn’t thank her enough!! It was a very scary day, and once I got home I cried my eyes out, of course.
From that day forward we have been working with Mila on her “listening skills”. She’s gotten much better when we’re inside, but she just can’t pay attention yet with the distraction of the streets while outside. Very scary! Dog training is extremely necessary whether you’re in an urban or rural area.
This post really hit home for me. Especially, the stomach-dropping “sound of your reactive dog barking from FAR AWAY”. I know that feeling, all too well. :O Only reactive dog owners know the horror of realizing that your monster is on the loose in the village! I adopted an 8 month old “St. Bernard” / rough collie/Great Pyrenees mix from an out of state friend who fostered dogs for a rescue league (I’ve known her for 20 years though), and she brought him up on her next visit up to our part of the country (=an 18 hour drive), after I agreed to adopt him from the rescue league, on her recommendation, that while he “needed a lot of work”, that he was not a “jerk”. She knew I was looking for a companion for my pyr/aussie mix, and thought he would be a great fit in our home.
( (At this point, I’m not unconvinced that this actually is pit bull mix, with a St. Bernard face mask)
He was a little reactive when he got out of the car and met our 2 year old female dog, but within about 10 minutes they were playing, and chasing each other around the yard. They were almost instantly smitten with each other, and we could tell, they were going to get along great.
Then we discovered, within a couple of weeks, that he was a total ASS around other (strange) dogs in the neighborhood, and would go right for the throat, chasing them like he meant to kill them. We had NEVER had a reactive dog before, not even close, and this was a horror to discover. Rather than return him to Tennessee, and give up on him, like his former owner(s); we took some reactive dog classes, and learned how to manage him. But the past four months have been the most stressfull dog experience months of my life. I feel like I’m walking a dangerous mental patient, who I have to keep away from the other villagers’ dogs. Amazing, he LOVES people, and is completely lovey-dovey and affectionate with strangers. This is saving grace. honestly. if he was people reactive, we’d have a major decision to whether he was worth the risk and liability. But he has a bone-deep death wish for other dogs, and this ruined a lot of what should have been perfectly nice walks on beautiful days in the park. He’s 60 Lbs., but has the strength of an 120-Lb. dog! He’s literally pulled me face down into the dirt when he’s caught me off balance, lunging after another dog that he saw, before I was able to distract him away. and I weigh 160 Lbs.
He’s escaped from his leash a couple of times on walks, and headed for the hills. The horror of what damage he might do if he encountered some random dog out for a walk, is gut wrenching. Thankfully, I’ve gotten him back both times without incident, but each incident has increased his walking gear (to a Halti harness, a basket muzzle, and two leashes secured with mountaineering-grade caribeeners), to the point, when I am now essentially walking Hannibal Lecter in his straight jacket and face mask. But this get-up reduces my stress-level by quite a bit, so I’m living with it.
Anyhow, I love your post,and thank you for sharing it. it’s a relief to not feel so alone with my crazy little mental patient. ;\
WOW. This is such a story. I know you posted this some time ago but I can feel the intensity of the situation as I read it! It must’ve been so distressing. I hope you didn’t have to go through this again.
Thanks so much for the kind words, Roger. Thankfully, no. It never happened again. The bike locks did the trick on those wonky gates. When we lived in Houma, there was one locked gate, which we fortified with cinder blocks. It’s so hard to think of and account for every little thing, but… as I learned… you just have to try your best, over and over again.