I’ve thought of half-a-dozen ways to write this, but it always comes back to this: Emmett isn’t going to get better, and our hearts are broken.
The oncologist explained the spectrum of the disease. There’s the far end where the tumor originates from the skin, and if it’s caught early, before metastasis, surgery can often cure it. Then there’s the opposite end where tumors are all over the organs, often the spleen and liver. Emmett’s tumor was excised from the sub-dermis, so under the skin, meaning it already metastasized. It’s malignant, and it’s aggressive. But there are no visible tumors on his organs.
What that means is that he falls in between the two extremes. He’s not going to be cured, but we can try to slow the spread.
So, that’s what we’re doing. He’s starting two drugs, what she called “wimpy chemo,” as soon as possible. They’re designed to stop blood from flowing into and growing tumors. If he responds well to the drugs, it could prolong his life and give him some happy, healthy months ahead.
She gave us a window: The next three to six months are the critical period. If tumors show up, then the drugs aren’t working or the cancer has already gotten too far in his precious system. Otherwise, he could have a full year ahead of him, and – in some rare cases – maybe even two.
She told us to watch for “off” days, when he seems tired or loses his appetite, because sometimes this cancer can cause an internal bleed, which is a terrifying prospect.
The past couple weeks felt like we were struggling under water, gasping for air, trying to make forward progress but going nowhere. Work has piled up. Furry dust bunnies are floating around the house. Somehow we need to find our way back to land, to get back into the routines of our days, to let life go on. It’s hard to take my eyes off of Emmett for even a second because I just want to memorize it all… the way his ears perk up when he hears me shift in my seat, the way the sunlight makes the blonde patches of his fur glow, the way his little white toes twitch in his sleep.
But I know that we need to balance real life with making the most of his beautiful life.
So, inspired by a person I stumbled across on Instagram (check out her account), I’m going to make Emmett a Bucket List. I want to capture him doing all the things that he loves (yes, most are going to be eating-related). I have two items so far: eat a steak dinner (thanks to his fabulous aunt and uncle who sent him a box of Omaha steaks) and go swimming. I’d love to hear your ideas and suggestions for his List, and once it’s finished, I’ll share it here with our progress.
This is getting long, I know, but the last thing I want to say is thank you. Truly, you have no idea how much all the kind words of support, comments, emails, FB messages, and texts have meant to us. They uplift our heavy hearts, and we are so incredibly grateful to this kind, generous community of dog lovers. Our hearts and lives are full, and we know that Emmett is going to do just fine with all of your love and prayers and happy thoughts giving him the strength he needs to fight this.
Hugs, scritches, and belly rubs – whichever they prefer – to all your precious pups from us.
We went through cancer with our dog Tbone. While I was hopeful the treatment would prolong his life, I decided to just really enjoy each moment with him as best I could. I even cherished the moments during chemo (he had a long slow drip so I sat with him for hours) reading and petting him. What I did towards the end was write a letter to him telling him all the great things about him- how he would spin around when he saw his girlfriend on the walks, how sweet he was to our kids, etc. Kind of like how we’d all like to hear what our friends and family will say at our funeral but while we’re still here. I keep the letter and when I read it now, it reminds me of him- much better than photos.
Sending much love to you. It is hard no matter what you do. They are a part of our hearts and the good news is no one can ever take that away.
So glad you have some time to spend with him!! Yes, savoring all the happy times, and just cuddling will help you both. Do a search on Doctor’s Best Curcumin C3 complex, 1000 mgs. This is used holistically for both human and pet cancer treatment. It can’t hurt!! My suggestion for his bucket list would be at least one day per week that is Mommy and Emmett day. Now that the weather is warmer, make a picnic basket and go by the water and spend that time enjoying each other’s company 🙂
Mom Kim here – I am sorry to read this about Emmett – don’t you wish we humans were more like our dogs – they don’t know about things like cancer – they just live their days the best they can. They don’t look to the future or in the past – all that matters is here and now.
Sending prayers, POTP to Emmett and hugs to you. Whatever will be – Emmett loves you and that is what matters.
For his bucket list – Whatever toys and treats Emmett loves – are a good thing now. Are there special places he likes to go – that would be a good thing for Emmett to do now. Any people he really likes spending time with – besides you of course – would be good. And maybe do a Facebook page for Emmett’s bucket list – I have seen people do that for their dogs on FB.
It’s always hard to think about these topics as pets age (in addition to us). I know this was a hard post to share but all your readers appreciate it Maggie.
Glad to hear you are making a Bucket list for Emmett. Maybe keeping Molly could be on the list? How about eating ice cream (not Frosty Paws) everyday or frozen yogurt. Sierra and Cody love froyo!
Clearly from this blog and talking with you it seems Emmett has had quite a great life. Any Bucket List items for him is icing on the cake.
http://ohmydogblog.com/2011/07/dear-emmett/
Get Busy Living, or Get Busy Dying
http://ohmydogblog.com/2014/02/anticipatory-grief/
Thanks for this update. Thinking and praying about you all. It is so, so heartbreaking. Many kisses to dear Emmett.
Be strong! I am glad you’re doing the things on the list. I should do the same for Hobie. Great idea 🙂
Our Becca passed from cancer almost two years ago now. It’s a hard time and I extend out sympathies. A bucket list is a great idea – we sort of did that with Becca her last weekend with us, took her to her favorite park, let her wade in the water, played a little fetch and gave her a huge steak dinner. Love ’em while you can.
Thinking about y’all. While I’m so so sorry to hear this news, I know Emmett has the best parents to care for him and that y’all will cherish the time you have together. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do from here.
Maggie, my heart hurts for you as tears fill my eyes. I have been in your shoes and know how painful this is for you. All of us that follow your blog know how special Emmitt is. I agree with a previous comment to have a special time each week with just you and Emmitt. I will pray for your strength and that dear sweet Emmitt’s remaining journey in this life is filled with joyful moments with Maggie, John and his animal family. What a beautiful life you have created for Emmitt.
I’m so sorry. I know Emmett is your rock.
Susan Garrett ran a series in her newsletter about elderly dogs. One of the things she said is that every day, make sure he gets a Big Adventure! That might not be a big adventure from your perspective, but a few minutes with you, without the other dogs, doing something that he really loves or that is really out of the ordinary. I’ve always liked that idea.
If there’s anything we can do to help, just say the word.
Dash and Lilly say to be sure to have Bully Sticks on the list! and lots of walks! I say be sure to have lots of hugs and cuddles and time for you to stare at him.
I think I have written in this comments section a couple of times: There is nothing you can write about Emmett that doesn’t make me just love, love, love him. It’s true again today.
We are so sorry you have this terrible disease. We cross our paws for you. One of our furiends has asked us to add you to our POTP page. If you would like us to do this, please submit a photo we can use of Emmett and we will get it up ASAP.
Your Pals,
Murphy & Stanley
Cancer sucks, plain and simple. But I know you are going to make the best of whatever time you have left with Emmett. I know exactly how you feel…when Kobi was sick that week before we lost him, I was barely functioning and everything was a mess. Somehow finally knowing exactly what is going on can help.
I love the bucket list idea. When we lost our Moses to cancer last summer, we didn’t get the opportunity to do special things, with him….he went too quickly and he was too sick by the time we knew what was happening. With Kobi we at least had a few days to do some special things. Make the most of your time left together….and I hope it will be that two years! I know you will take such great care of him which will make that entirely possible.
I can’t wait to hear about all the great things Emmett is going to experience!
I am so so sorry.
I second that. So sorry Maggie. Cancer really sucks
I just came across this via Facebook, haven’t checked my reading list today. Maggie, I have no words to express how sad I am to hear this. If there is anything I can do for Emmett’s list, let me know. Hugs to you and yours.
The other day when I saw Emmett I’m pretty sure that he shot me this look as if he was begging to go for a ride in my truck with the window down. Something about his tongue flapping in the wind, inner cheeks catching air like a parachute and coating the passenger side in slobber. Dogs love trucks and everyone loves Emmett. Add that to homeboy’s list.
I shed a little tear reading this and had to hug my pup extra tight when I saw her. The wonderful thing about dogs is that they have no concept of time, or cancer, like we do. All he knows is how wonderfully happy you make him and when the time comes you’ll have given him even more months of peace, happiness and love. Of course that won’t mend your broken heart but you’ll be making such lovely memories to carry with you always. The bucket list is such a great idea x
I’m so sorry, Maggie. Cancer sucks. 🙁
I’m glad you’re planning a bucket list for Emmett. Fill it with all the things he loves. I hope he gets his very own ice cream cone. 🙂 Take lots of pictures, give lots of hugs and play with your boys.
We are thinking of you and holding you close in our hearts.
Once again, you have our deepest sympathies. Like Kathy Keith, I’d add the Doctor’s Best Curcumin C3 complex, 1000 mgs, but I’d also put Turmeric on his food to get the whole Curcumin base into him. It’s a spice and I know of no known cases where someone’s overdosed on eating curry. There are places online where you can buy Turmeric by the pound rather inexpensively. I use it to make a lot of V&B’s treats. As well as being anti-carcinogenic, it’s also a liver detox and an anti-inflammatory. Bucket List add-on: Have an Ice Cream Party. The So Delicious company has it made out of coconut milk or almond milk, so you don’t have to worry about lactose upsetting tummies. If you decide to make your own, use goat’s milk. They have it canned near the evaporated milk in stores.
I’m so sorry Maggie, I had hoped you would receive better news. Just know we are here for you, for anything you need.
As for the bucket list I’m not sure what I’d include, something smelly or muddy to roll in?
I’m so sorry to hear about Emmett! A bucket list is a great idea. I hope you’ll take lots of photos to help preserve the special moments.
Take as many GOOD quality pictures of Emmett doing things he likes as he can. That doesn’t mean using your smartphone camera but using a nice point-and-shoot or a cheap DSLR if you can swing it. (Assuming you don’t already own one.)
You’ll never regret having those high quality photos that really capture those moments.
I am so sorry. I think the bucket list is a wonderful idea. I wish you had received better news. I will send prayers for strength through this hard time.
So sorry Maggie. Also glad you have some time with him still. I love your bucket list idea. Thinking of you and sending my positive thoughts.
Maggie, I’ve been so out of the blog loop, only checking in sporadically, that I just learned of this. My heart breaks for you but I’m in awe of your determination to make each and every day Emmett has the Very Best One Ever. But of course, you have been doing that since Emmett came to live with you.
I am thinking of you all and sending you hopes and wishes that you’ll have Emmett for many more days, weeks and months to come. But regardless of how long or short, I know the quality of your time together will be remarkable.
Hugs and love to you all.