There aren’t any pictures to accompany this post. You can thank me in the comments.
So, I really hate to exercise, but I’ve been making an effort to do a 10-minute workout from a YouTube channel a few days a week before my lunch break. To force myself to do it, when I get dressed in the morning, I put on my workout clothes first thing.
I’m NOT coordinated on top of it, so yesterday’s video was this kickboxing one, and I just couldn’t figure out the moves. I was halfway through, and I decided to turn it off, get a glass of water, and do a different video. I came back upstairs with my glass of water, and there was Lucas in the hunched-over-heaving-back position we all know: He’s gonna blow. So, I did what anyone does whose dog throws up regularly. I whipped off my T-shirt, and caught the puke. (See? No pictures.)
As I was standing up – with full intentions of hustling him straight down the steps and outside because he always pukes twice – I see out of the corner of my eye Molly in that other squat position*. The first little poop had just hit the ground, so I used the sleeve of the barf shirt to pick it up. I picked Molly up in my other hand, and yelled, “OUTSIDE!”
I rushed everyone out, dropped the little poop from the shirt into the yard, tossed the shirt into the wash machine, and ran back out to see if Lucas was hurling again or if Molly was finishing pooping.
I stood in the middle of the yard, watching them all “go,” and I realized…
I didn’t have a shirt on.
Sigh.
(See? No pictures.)
*We have recently determined that, while Molly is crate trained, she isn’t quite house trained. Our fault. Since we integrated her with the boys, she thinks outside = fun play time, and we haven’t done a good job separating potty time. But we had her on a strict routine and hadn’t noticed that it was just rote. The routine changed. She’s had a couple accidents. Oops. We’re on it.
It’s official! We’re a little rednecky! If we start parking in the yard, everyone will love us!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my! See, this is why I’d think your neighbors love you! It’s like Mardi Gras at your house!
I cracked up reading this in the hospital waiting room. Holy carp that was funny. OMG I’m still smiling and giggling.
Oh Maggie…they don’t hate you!! Lol!!
Without fail there will be some sort of crisis in the backyard when I’m naked or topless. Since I have a chainlink fence I don’t dash out immediately, but I’ve had to get creative about coverage!
I’ve also had a couple of dogs do the dance of their people with my voluminous bras in front of the fence for the entire neighborhood.
HaHaHaHa!!! Too funny!! I’m guilty of stepping out on the porch to bring in wood after dark in brief attire. We live on a side street with no street lights, so unless a car is driving by, I can’t be seen. My husband raises his eyebrows at me every time, though….
Thats some quick thinking with the shirt. I’m quite impressed.
LOL!!!! I’m sorry, but that is hysterically funny!!! We live in a neighborhood that is very remote, but some of the houses are close “enough”. I always dash across in front of the sliding doors in my underwear, figuring no one will see me. One of these days… one of these days! I’m not sure I would’ve had the courage to use my shirt to catch puke and poo! Thanks for the a.m. chuckle.
Oh, my goodness….the first LOL of the day!
Oh, man! That does not sound like a fun way to start the day. Way to be quick on your feet… and on your ability to undress in crisis mode!
One thing about that kind of a morning: the day will HAVE to get better.
Oh, I am so sorry, but I cannot help but laugh at this series of events. Good for you for working out, though.
Maybe this is the real benefit of Silas’s NEED to have a blanket on every surface. Yesterday when he acted like he was going to throw up on the rug, I just grabbed the closest dog blanket. (They’re all $2 fleece from IKEA.)
I’m lucky, though, in that somehow he has extended his house training to include throwing up. Unless it is a *serious* emergency, he’ll at least get on the tile by the door.
Holy smokes, that’s dedication!
Any time Elka is getting ready to puke (these times have been few and far between, thankfully), I tell her to go to the kitchen….it works sometimes. (well, okay, first I have to tell her “off”, because she’s on the bed, or a couch, and then “kitchen”)
OMD, that’s hysterical. I *almost* wish this had happened to me, so I could use it in my current novel I’m working on. (Almost!)
At least you had pants on. I’ve seen my neighbor fully buck naked – and on his roof no less. Yes, in broad daylight. And, yes, to say I dislike him would be an understatement! (I blogged about it but it was long ago. Haven’t spoken to him since!) 🙂
But I’m sure you’re neighbors like you. Because you were not fully naked. And not on your roof. People draw the line, I think, at getting naked on THE ROOF.
Well at least you were wearing pants! 🙂 Great story!
LOLOLOLOL!! First of all, I’ve never tried the technique of taking off my clothing to catch puke or poop, but now I probably will! I’ve been outside in my pajamas and my bathrobe, but nope, never topless.
But who knows? You may have made your neighbor’s day! We used to have an elderly neighbor….very nice man, but kind of a “dirty old man” and I think he would have loved to see me outside topless! the only problem would have been that he would have told the whole neighborhood also!
Why don’t you have your own reality show? I would totally watch religiously.
Heck, your neighbors probably love you. They can cut back on their cable bill with all the entertainment happening next door.
OMD – I’m laughing so hard right now. And, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that your neighbors actually adore you and find you as funny as I do. 😉
Your neighbors hate you for that? All women?
Hi Maggie!
Christie
I will say that you’re not alone in finding yourself outside undressed. One summer I went outside in bra and panties (can’t remember why) but it was important and I just didn’t think about it until I turned around and saw that we had guests.
We live on 5 acres with lots of privacy. Except this day.
Thanks for the smile. Loved the story.
They probably don’t hate you 🙂 I’m sure our neighbors will be happy when we get the house listed, and move at some point. Between me yelling out the bathroom window “Lady, are you eating poop? drop it!” and “let him up!”, when they all play gang up on the 8 month old puppy and roll him and bark really loudly at him– the 8 all boy puppy loves this game by the way. I’m sure they will throw us a “moving party”