Three weeks ago, Cooper started doggy daycare.
He was on the waiting list for six months before he finally got in, and we were super excited. We wanted him to go for two reasons: First, he seems to be a very timid, very shy guy. This doggy daycare does a great job at introducing similar pups and monitoring play. We wanted to see if it would help him come out of his shell. Second, and this is one of the many reasons I’m feeling guilty, I needed him out of my hair at least once a week. I work from home. Cooper is loud and mischievous, so he makes it very difficult for me to focus, take calls, etc.
The first day, when we arrived, Cooper was frightened. He tucked his tail. He whimpered. When they came to get him, he tried with all his mite to run back to us. It broke my heart.
When we picked him up, his report card wasn’t a surprise: He showed signs of anxiety. He was nervous around people and dogs. After a while he warmed up and had a blast playing with a few dogs and became very loving toward the people.
Phew!
We were just glad to get that first day over with and expected him to warm right up to daycare. Well, each time he’s gone since then, he’s been equally resistant to leave us in the lobby, and when we pick him up, he FLIES into our arms.
But they said he’s playing and warming up. He clearly loves the people. He wags and grins and gives loads of kisses.
This morning John dropped him off, and – once again – his tail was tucked and he was whimpering.
He explained our concerns to them, and they promised to keep a close eye on him today and let us know some specifics.
I really wanted him to have fun. I really wanted one quiet work day to myself each week, too! But if he’s not enjoying himself…
Or should we stick it out if he’s “warming up” to see if he really does warm up?
Ah, the guilt of being a pet parent. What to do?
I guess I’ll just wait and see what his full report is today…
Thanks for letting me vent! 🙂 Anyone want to share their doggy daycare experiences?
Sarah
I haven’t taken Hurley to doggie daycare but we’ve started going to the dog park most mornings before I take him into the shop. Goal was to get him super exhausted so he’d be a little more manageable during the day. At the park we go to, he sticks by my side and doesn’t really play too much with the other pups. If there’s a large crowd of dogs running & playing, he tucks his tail and races back to find me. And he is terrified at first, every time, of the Great Dane that is always there. I’m sticking with it though – it’s a socialization experience that he does need and he warms up to all the dogs by the end of it. While it’s not the all out energy draining that I had hoped it to be, it’s still beneficial for him. If it were up to him, he’d spend the entirety of every day as close to my side as possible but I don’t want a momma’s boy, I want Hurley to be a confident, social pup. So long as he’s not in complete distress the whole time, I view it as a learning experience for him. I can redirect him anytime a certain large dog starts freaking him out and I do see him start to open up and socialize with the other dogs after about 5 minutes. He might even be developing a BFF and he always gathers enough courage to sniff the Great Dane’s butt by the end of each outing. Hopefully, Cooper’s doggie daycare is a similar experience for him – challenging but ultimately a successful socialization experience. Does your doggie daycare have a webcam? A lot of them do and then you can check out Cooper for yourself during the day to see how he’s doing.
Maggie
Sarah, Your comment made my day. Seriously. I was so focused on the socialization aspect (and, you’re right, he’s not in complete distress the whole time) that I sort of glazed over the independence thing. He spends his days latched to my pant leg, and he follows the big dogs around like they’re Kings of his world. So not only is he shy by nature, but he’s having to learn to stand on his own four feet… Thank you for the perspective!!!
Jen
That’s a tough one!
I don’t think it would hurt to stick around and see if he actually warms up, if you can do so without him being aware of it.
Alexis
Is there any way you can monitor him without him seeing you? The daycare near me has a two way mirror that looks out into the play yard.
Julie
Cali gets very nervous when there are lots of dogs around, no matter how well we manage the situation. She used to hide under the nearest human when we took her to the dog park as a pup. She’s social and confident and loves other dogs . .but not in big groups. It could be that Cooper just feels a little overwhelmed by being dropped off somewhere (OMG where are you going?) I always feel guilty when we go out of town and we leave Cali with friends . .she has the OMG look down pat!
I hope he starts to feel better, maybe he just needs a few more positive experiences . .or it could be that doggie daycare isn’t his thing!
Pamela
I used to take Shadow to a “play day” at the SPCA which existed to socialize dogs to play with others. She slowly warmed up to playing with the other dogs. But eventually she reverted back to her shy behavior.
At that point I decided she wasn’t benefiting and we stopped going.
If you need some quiet work time but don’t think Cooper is benefiting from the daycare, maybe you could find a dog walker who could arrange one-on-one play time.
It’s hard to figure these things out. I second the advice of trying to observe on your own one day to know for sure what’s happening.
Ann
I don’t have a daycare story, but he sure is handsome in his little shirt
Maggie
UPDATE: When John picked him up yesterday, he asked how Coop did. The girl who walked him back in the AM told John that he was pretty skittish around people. She radioed back to the play area to ask how he did out there, and the guy radioed back, “He’s been pretty playful ever since I got here.” So that’s at least good. We’re wondering if his issues are the drop off/pick up portions of the day since he is such a little piece of Velcro stuck to me and the big boys. We’ll try again on Wednesday! John is dropping him off and is going to ask to watch for a bit… Thank you for all the kind words!!
Mayzie
MayzieMom here.
Totally understand where you’re coming from. We took Ranger to daycare for years and, while they said he preferred hanging with people more than the other dogs – we could tell he really enjoyed going. He would be excited to get out and trot right in happily. He was always, ALWAYS glad to see us but we knew he liked going by the way he acted when we dropped him off.
Mayzie, on the other hand, is a different story. We took her to two different daycares and she just didn’t do well in either one. I think the environments were just too overwhelming for her. We then found a woman who was very knowledgeable and took care of dogs in her home. Things were going great for awhile and Mayzie would whine and scratch at the door to get out of the car when we got there. Then one day, they told us they had taken care of a dog that barked incessantly at any dog that walked by him. After that, things were never the same, even though that dog never came back. We had to coax her out of the car and when we’d finally get her out of the car, she’d shake all over. After about 2 months of this, we talked it over with the woman and we all decided that it just wasn’t good for Mayzie. She said that she didn’t even relax after they got her inside and she felt that we were doing more harm than good in continuing to bring her.
Like you, we were terribly disappointed because we hoped it would help Mayzie and it would also give us a little break from the dogs every once in awhile. But ultimately, we had to do what was best for her.
We now have someone come to our house when we’re away and we also have them walk the dogs several times a week. Maybe you could consider something like that. Having a dogwalker come over once or twice a week and really tire Cooper out so you could get some things done?
Ultimately, if he’s having fun WHILE he’s there, that’s the important thing. But I also think you have to listen to your gut and listen to what your dog is telling you. While socialization is GREAT, it also has to be done in the right way for it to be effective.
Sorry this was SOOOO long! Yikes! Maybe I shouldn’t have had that extra cup of coffee this afternoon. 😉
Amber
The Lady
Hope you figure it out! I tried doing the daycare thing with the girls because Bella has such anxiety issues. I knew she would need to be boarded if I went anywhere. I thought knowing the people and the place would help. Lets just say…
I now have a petsitter. Seriously, it wasn’t doing anything for Bella and it was frustrating for the daycare to try and deal with her (like, she would shut down and refuse to move when a man came to get her to bring her to me).
There are other, less stressful ways to get socialization for a dog. Either through play dates, park visits (even leashed walks in a regualr park-not dog park), or small groups.